Author: loriaboyle

… Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God… (Luke 18:9-14, NIV)

I’m really starting to hate exercise. Well – I like what it does for me but I’ve stopped fooling myself that there is any enjoyment to be found in it. That’s a lie people tell themselves to trick their bodies into doing it, LOL! I suffer under no illusions now. It’s become something I must do if I want to keep this old body of mine working and in good order. Plus, it makes me look good, too! 😉 Sunday I was feeling kinda antsy. I’d exercised every day except that day so my body was craving it but I was fighting it. I finally gave into the desire and went for a walk. I will say this; exercise is also good for clearing your mind. As I walked I began to reflect on things and the direction my life is taking.

I wondered why some things I prayed for still eluded me. God has done so much but he has yet to put that final cherry on top – the crowning pinnacle of all my achievements. I walked and I grumbled to myself: I deserve this, I said of my desire. Why hasn’t it happened for me? After all I’ve been through? After the life I’ve strived to live? I was feeling mighty self-righteous. Why didn’t God give me what I deserved? But then it struck me – there are so many things wrong with that argument. First, it assumes that God owes me something for doing the right thing. I’m only doing what I’m supposed to do anyway. Second, it presumes that life owes me something just because of some of the harsh things (I feel) I’ve had to endure – punitive damages, of a sort. Lastly, it claims a superiority and favor over others who’ve had to live this life, like I deserve more than anyone else. As if, life is supposed to be more fair for me than anyone else.

Even as I saw the flaws in my way of thinking, I still demanded of God, “When will I get what I truly deserve?” But then I thought of all the things that God has done for me that met and even exceeded my expectations. I reminded myself that he usually gives me more than I asked for. “Exceedingly abundantly above all I could ask or think…” And it came to me, suddenly – I’m praying all wrong. I’m asking God for what I deserve. I should be asking for more. If I get what I deserve, I limit myself to what I’ve done, instead of receiving blessings with no limit. Getting what I deserve also mandates that I receive just recompense and penalty for my wrong doing as well. What I needed was BETTER than I deserved. And that is where I found my definition of mercy.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. (Psalm 51:1 NIV)

David, “a man after God’s own heart,” is one of my favorite characters from the Bible – not because he always got it right, but because he sometimes got it really, really wrong. But he knew how to repent. He would go to God and say, “I messed up. I really blew it this time. Forgive me.” And God would. I think that’s what’s so great about their relationship, why God loved him so – David recognized that he needed God to “get it right” and to forgive him when he didn’t. He needed God to bless him, not only because of what he’d done, but also, despite what he had done. In fact, I think one of the biggest lies of the enemy is when he convinces us to NOT repent, not ask for forgiveness because God isn’t interested in hearing our apology. God is always listening FOR that. He wants to heal and restore you and remove the stain of your offense.

Many of you will recall the story of King David and Bathsheba. She was beautiful. He saw her bathing and desired her so greatly that he had to have her, no matter the cost. He put his kingdom and legacy on the line, his relationship with God on the line and Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, literally, in the line of fire. Besides committing adultery with Bathsheba, he had gotten her pregnant. David had Uriah killed so that he could marry Bathsheba and cover up his sin. The more he tried to fix his problem, the deeper he became entangled.

Finally, the prophet Nathan came to see David and told him a story of a rich man who had everything but took, instead, from his poor neighbor. The story convicted David and let him know that, although it seemed he had gotten away with his crimes – which were punishable by death – God knew what he’d done. And here is where David sets himself apart from his predecessor, Saul. Instead of trying to justify or mitigate his wrongful actions, he accepts responsibility and asks God for forgiveness and mercy. He asks God for more than he a right to ask, better than he deserves. And God grants it, despite David’s crimes. God restored David to a right relationship with Him. He allows David’s dynasty to continue in the person of Solomon, the 2nd son of David and Bathsheba. Yes, there were consequences for David’s mistakes. He lived with them the rest of his life. But the consequences were tempered with mercy.

I pondered this revelation of mercy as I continued my walk. Without mercy, I would receive exactly what I deserved, good and bad. That was a scary thought. A humbling thought. I don’t want to go to God and demand he pay me what I feel he owes me. I don’t want to receive only what I put out. I don’t want to reap exactly what I have sown. I want the benefits of His “tender mercies.” By the end of my walk, I’d changed my prayer, my outlook and hopefully, my life. Lord, I prayed, give me better than I deserve! Have mercy on me! If there’s a consequence for a bad action that I must reap, temper it with your grace and mercy so that I may endure it. And if there is any good to come from anything I’ve done, let it be increased so that I get it back, multiplied, one-hundred fold! I desire your mercy without limits, knowing that you are able and very likely to give and do more than I could ever conceive.

Be blessed,

Loria

Then he took the cloak that had fallen from him and struck the water with it.”Where now is the LORD, the God of Elijah?” he asked. When he struck the water, it divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over.
(2 Kings 2:14)

Elijah came upon Elisha plowing in a field. The prophet tossed his cloak upon Elisha’s shoulders, thereby declaring his successor as God commanded. Elisha hedged, “Give me time to go back and kiss my mother and father goodbye.” In other words, he wanted time to put his affairs in order. The prophet responded a bit sarcastically, with words to the effect, “Take all the time you want – I’ve only offered you MY job!” I’m paraphrasing liberally but you get the gist. This was no small thing, to be sure. When Elijah dropped his cloak on Elisha, he transferred his position, along with all his power and authority. Elisha would be THE prophet for God’s people.

So Elisha followed his mentor, dropping everything. He sacrificed his plowing oxen and used the plow equipment as fuel to consume them, signifying that part of his life was over. As they journeyed, Elisha received repeated warnings that his master, Elijah, was to be called home this very day. God was taking Elijah away in a whirlwind. But Elisha already knew this in his spirit. It was the “why” behind the prophet’s “hurry up and follow me” vibe. There was a sense of urgency to his calling.

As Elijah and Elisha drew closer to their destination, the prophet tried to send his protégé on his way, signaling the end of their time together. Elijah made excuses, like, “Wait for me here.” But Elisha would not be put off so easily. He insisted on following the prophet to the end.

The two men came to a body of water, the River Jordan. Elijah took his mantle, rolled it up and touched it to the water. The waters parted and they walked across on dry land. When they reached the other side, Elijah said to his successor, “Ask of me what you will.” Elisha responded, “That I would receive a double portion of your spirit.” The prophet told him that was a hard thing BUT, he allowed, “If you see me taken away, your request will be granted.”

Suddenly Elisha saw chariots of fire, drawn by fiery horses, descending from heaven! They swooped down between the two men and took Elijah away. Elisha cried at the sight of it, tore his garments and mourned Elijah’s “passing”. After Elisha witnessed that miracle, he gathered himself together and walked back to the river they’d crossed before. He touched Elijah’s mantle, now his, to the water and cried, “Where is the God of Elijah?” And the waters parted before him, too. Same God. Same miracle. Same power.

God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’ (Exodus 3:14-15)

His personal name – the name he revealed to Moses – has become a promise for me, as he meant it to be: I am. When I was afraid that I would lose my home, I prayed and He responded, “I am your shelter.” I lost my job and so I prayed and He answered, “I am your provider.” I left my husband, my security, to start all over again. I cried out to God and his name declared, “I am your husband,” to me. Time and again, God has proven and shown himself strong on my behalf. I think the only way to truly know him is to need him – to be at the end of your rope. He gave us a basis for trusting him when he identified himself as the same God who dealt with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. His reputation precedes him. He wants us to know him by his miracles and make the connection that he will do the same for us.

While working at the call center, I made many friends – some of us are still friends to this day, some 10-15 years later. One of my friends was a new Christian like me and totally in love with the Lord. Back then, we would fantasize about being called into his service to do great things. We wanted to be used and know God like the heroes of Biblical times. My friend had a saying: Lord, I wanna know you like I KNOW you! Meaning, she wanted to have an intimate relationship with God. We both wanted to be able to say, “The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and ME!” We yearned for more, not actually realizing the extent of what we were asking. I have since come to the realization that the only one way to KNOW God that way is by having him repeatedly snatch you from the fire!

Recently, another friend asked me to pray for her because she felt I could “get a prayer through.” As if, I had some special power to influence God. I laughed (but I also prayed). I know God loves me and he hears me but I’m not arrogant enough to believe he hears me anymore than he hears anyone else. Actually, I’ve usually been that person in the past who has asked other, powerful praying people, to pray for me! It was funny and ironic that she asked that of me.

But it made me think: Did these prayer warriors have more sway with God than I did? Do I have more than my friend? I didn’t think so. Like Elisha, I’ve seen some of his glory – I know what he can do. Based on who he has revealed himself to be throughout the Bible and what he has done for me, I feel I can go to him and ask: “Where is the God of Elijah? Where is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? You did it for them; surely you can perform a miracle for me! I need you to be my God, too, here and now.” Then I hope and hold on, waiting for him to perform it because he’s been my salvation many times. When I ask Him to show up, I believe He will.

It came to me today, that the mantle and authority is still being passed – the power is no longer in the garment but in the relationship. It rests on me; it rests on you and all of us who are seeking that closer relationship with God and desire to be used by him. You, too, can go boldly to his throne because He is not a “respecter of persons” or, of your station in life. That is to say, you don’t need someone else (minister, prayer warrior, or me 😉 LOL) to speak on your behalf. You can say, “Where is this God of Elijah? Of Elisha? Of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? Of Loria? I need you to be there for me, like you were there for them.” And then you will see your own miracle.

Be blessed,

Loria

“… He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life…” (1Kings 19:4)

I love the Old Testament. When I was a young girl, my grandmother gave me a book called “Beautiful Bible Stories.” I read it from cover to cover, until it was pretty worn. That began my love affair with the His Word. One of my favorite stories from the Old Testament is the story of Elijah and the Battle on Mount Carmel. It was EPIC!

Israel had fallen into serving pagan gods (Baal and Asherah) at the instigation of Jezebel, King Ahab’s wife. Because of their idolatry, God caused a drought to come upon the land – no rain at Elijah’s word. Elijah was a wanted man so God hid him until the appointed time and then sent him to Ahab to challenge Jezebel’s prophets to a contest. Winner takes all.

Elijah, the pagan prophets and all of Israel (including Ahab) gathered on Mount Carmel. The contest was simple – build your own altar, prepare your own sacrifice, pray your own prayer BUT your god had to light the fire. So the prophets of Jezebel (450 for Baal, 400 for Asherah) prepared their sacrifice per the instructions and prayed to their god – all morning long. Nothing happened. They grew more desperate and began to cut themselves, trying to invoke their god as Elijah taunted their efforts.

Finally, Elijah took his turn – he prepared his altar and his sacrifice and then dug a deep trench around the altar. He had water poured on the sacrifice several times, drenching the wood and the offering until the trench was full of water. And then he prayed. God immediately answered by fire which rained down from heaven onto the altar. It consumed the entire sacrifice and licked up the water in the ditch! “Our God IS God,” Israel began to chant. Elijah prayed again and God sent rain to relieve the land. He gave Elijah a supernatural burst of energy so that he outran the horses of King Ahab’s chariot. I imagine Elijah running, giddy with victory.

Meanwhile, Jezebel’s prophets had been destroyed at Elijah’s command – she did not take that news well. She swore vengeance on Elijah, sending him on the lam. Again. And this is where we catch up with Elijah. No longer riding the wave of euphoria, he’s feeling worn down, maligned, mistreated, unappreciated. Attacked. He’s tired. He just wants to give up. He’s so overwhelmed that he lies down under a tree and goes to sleep, praying for death to overtake him. At this point, God sends an angel to minister to him. The angel awakened Elijah and urged him to eat because “the journey was too great” for him. (I sometimes wonder – what does food prepared by an angel’s hand taste like? Hmmmm.)

On the strength of that meal, Elijah was able to travel for 40 days to Horeb, the mountain of God. There he spent the night in a cave where God spoke to him, asking, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” Elijah listed his complaints, all he had done for God and, to top it off, how Jezebel was looking to kill him. Besides that, he felt he was the only true servant of God left. So the Lord told Elijah to step outside so they could have a little chat. The wind tore up the side of the mountain but God wasn’t in the wind. And the mountain shook with an earthquake but God wasn’t in the earthquake. Fire manifested but He wasn’t to be found in the fire, either. Finally, a gentle whisper came, in the stillness, in the quiet, God spoke to Elijah.

This is where my own story picks up. I’d been taking stock of my life and feeling pretty good about my accomplishments. I was feeling victorious. But last week was rough. I ended the week trying to fight back tears as I thought about how I had been treated. Like Elijah, I thought: Wow – this is the thanks I get? After all of the major battles (epic, for me) that I’ve fought and won, this is how it ends? Not with a bang but with a whimper? It just didn’t seem fair. And the more I thought about it, the more it hurt. Mentally, I was curled up in the fetal position. Then I got angry. The more I thought about how I was wronged, the more self righteous my anger became; it encased me, turning me hard. It felt all wrong – evil and insidious.

When I realized it was morphing into something else, I knew I had to let it go. I had to. I’d already lashed out and hurt someone – it had become a weapon. It didn’t feel good. So instead of fighting back the tears, I released them. I journaled my pain. Instead of complaining about how right I was and how wrong the other party was, I cried out to God and asked him to take that pain away. So that I could think about it without hurting. So that I could move on. So that I wouldn’t lash out. So that it wouldn’t change me. Talk about a battle of epic proportions! The fight between good and evil, inside of me. Would I continue to nurture that hurt and let it fester until I felt justified in hurting someone else? Or would I use it as an opportunity to grow and become a better person?

As it turned out, I didn’t have to make a conscious decision. Thankfully, I found the comfort I was seeking in the tears that I shed. Crying brought clarity. As Miss Sophia said in The Color Purple, “All my life I had to fight!” In my case, I’ve fought to appear strong. I hated to cry or for people to see me cry. It felt weak. But as I’ve matured, I’ve learned to embrace tears. Rather than making me weak, I feel it makes me strong. It allows me to get rid of the garbage that hurts me. So I cried until I forgave the person who hurt me. I cried until I could think of it without crying more. I cried until it no longer mattered what they did or why. It only mattered that I didn’t let it change me.

That’s what I was fighting for – that right there, was the real battle. And, as with Elijah, God sent a friend – an “angel” – to minister to me, to provide comfort and encouragement because I was feeling too overwhelmed by this journey. And like Elijah, I found God when I needed him most, where I least expected him but right where I needed him to be.

Be blessed,

Loria

“Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.” Daniel 10:12

When a friend told me about the “100 Answered Prayers Challenge,” I was intrigued. It’s based on a book she’s reading, Surprised by Prayer by Karen Barber. Initially, I thought it was just recording your prayers and waiting for the answers. Being a person who sometimes journals, I am familiar with documenting and recording your prayers. I was never truly motivated to keep it up, finding it rather tedious. But my friend revealed to me the twist – you’re not recording your prayers, only your answers. That hooked me. I would record the prayers that God answered until I got to one hundred. I felt it would be a great way to be cognizant, always, that God is working in my life today.

So, a couple of weeks into it and a quarter of the way through, I had an epiphany. The reason that recording my prayers hasn’t worked for me in the past is because I pretty much used it as a wish list. Nothing really wrong with wish lists but it keeps you focused on what you want – not on what you are getting. You could be missing out on some wonderful blessings that are staring you in the face but all you see is that your specific prayer on the list hasn’t been answered.

My daughter is your typical teenager; she wants what she wants, when she wants it. One day, she insisted that I do something for her and when I refused, she treated me as if I never did anything for her. Now, mind you – we’ve had an exhausting school year, culminating in prom and graduation. Everything I’d done to make her senior year special was forgotten, all because I didn’t grant this request. Her attitude offended me and I told her she had a very short memory. She was too focused on what she wasn’t getting to appreciate what had already been done and the sacrifices I’d made. Thankfully, as she is maturing, she’s getting better – not so much “Me, me, me – now, Now, NOW!” I realize my job as a parent is not over as I teach her to appreciate what she has now and not focus so much on immediate gratification. As I thought about her, I thought of my own relationship with God. When we make lists of things we want, sometimes all we see is what we’re not getting.

This challenge has changed my focus. As I document answers, I am reminded that he is present and actively involved in my life, right now. Some of these prayers are long standing, ongoing prayers for me and my family. Like the day I realized that my son was surrounded by good influences, which is always a mother’s desire. Or the day he told me that he respected me. Me. One of the reasons I divorced was because I felt I was losing the respect of my children. I needed to be able to look them in the eye and say truthfully, “God is everything; with him you can do anything. He is always with you.” And then, I had to set about living it and proving it to them because children are quick to expose hypocrisy. It has to be real for you, if it is to be real for them.

Some answers are the result of prayers not even vocalized. When we went to my daughter’s orientation we found that if she didn’t take a class before the term began in the fall, she would have to do that in addition to her regular classes. I worried that she would have too much to deal with during her freshman year and would be overwhelmed. While I sat in the auditorium, trying to figure it out, God was already working it out. By the end of the day, the situation was resolved and she found the class was unnecessary. I recognized that as answered prayer because of the sense of relief that washed over me. God saw my problem and solved it, before it could even become an issue.

I realized that some answers are, surprisingly, almost immediate or soon thereafter. When I pray for favor on my job, God usually turns the situation into a favorable outcome for me. Or when I pray about a person who is being difficult, they do a complete 180 degree turn and are suddenly smiling and pleasant. Some answers are in a comforting word. When I wake up with a song in my mind, I know that He is comforting me. The other night, I went to bed feeling particularly discouraged because of an unkind word. The next morning, I awakened to the words of Time will Reveal by El DeBarge: “More precious than silver, more precious than diamond rings or anything …” That line played in a continual loop in my head and I knew God wanted me to know how much I am worth to him. A love song from God – the thought made me smile.

Some answers are in his presence. When I was newly single, I felt discouraged and out of my league as a homeowner. I was overwhelmed by all it entailed. I’d never taken care of a home before – I didn’t even know how to mow the grass. My pool was a real source of dismay for me. I couldn’t get the darn thing to remain clean! The water would turn a dark murky green. Every time I saw it, it became the symbol of my failure as a homeowner and my heart would sink into my stomach. Still, I would often sit on my deck overlooking the pool and meditate in the early morning or late evening. The humming of the pump and gurgling of the water was soothing. One day as I was talking to God, a shaft of sunlight beamed directly on the pool and the water suddenly turned a crystal clear, beautiful blue. Tears sprang to my eyes and I felt the presence of his Spirit. My dog came over to me and nudged my hand so that I could pet his head – I think he could see and feel it, too. He leaned his big body against me as I cried and was comforted. I thanked God for his Spirit, his manifestation. The vision cleared and the pool returned to normal but that experience remained with me.

So I remind myself now, rather than look at a particular unanswered prayer and feel discouraged, that He is ALWAYS answering me, in some form or fashion. Like Daniel, I have found that he hears me and may be devising an answer, a solution or comfort as soon as (or even before) my need is realized. I think about how I feel when my children only see what I haven’t done instead of all the good that I do. It seems mighty ungrateful. Like my daughter, I’m maturing – God is doing for me what I am doing for her. He’s helping me to change my focus so that I can see and appreciate everything that he does for me.

Be blessed,

Loria

P.S. For more information on how to do the 100 Answered Prayer Challenge, go to: http://www.personalprayerpower.com/php/100prayers.php. If you have a special story to share about how God has answered your prayer, I’d love to hear it!

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Recently, we went to see The Karate Kid in its latest incarnation, featuring Jaden Smith (son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett). His character, Dre, had a friendship with a cute little Chinese girl, a violinist. Her father took her music career very seriously, even hiring a private tutor. One day, Dre persuaded her to play hooky from school, when she should have been preparing for an audition with a prestigious school of the arts. While they were traipsing through the city, she got a call from her father – the audition had been moved up. They wanted to see her in an hour and her father was coming to pick her up at school. Busted. After the audition, the father made her tell Dre that she couldn’t see him anymore because he wasn’t a good friend (or influence) for her. At the time, skipping school seemed harmless but it almost caused her to miss out on an opportunity to improve her circumstances. Dre realized that he did not inspire her to do something good. Later, he apologized to her father, promising to be the best friend that she could ever have.

At one time, my own definition of friendship was simple – pretty much anyone who wanted to hang around me, regardless of how mean or negative they could be, counted as a friend. I was guilty of letting people latch on to me because of my need for acceptance. Soon, I found myself surrounded by negative people. They were friendly enough, at times; the kind of people who were quick to pick up the tab for a meal or offer to do a favor. But on many occasions they showed their true character; sometimes, they were merely guilty of not being supportive enough or being negative about my accomplishments. But I continued on in these friendships because of loyalty and because I hoped the relationships were salvageable, despite their character flaws.

The good news is, one day I realized things needed to change. I thought to myself: I gotta start hanging out with a better quality of people. I resolved that I would choose my friends more wisely, instead of just letting friendships happen. No more letting people just latch on to me. I didn’t push my existing friends away or try to change them. I changed me. My focus changed. As I reached for higher things in life, I found that bad relationships fell away. Of the friendships that have remained throughout the years, it was because they chose to rise higher and to evolve with me. Some have even inspired me to climb higher, which is what good friendships should do. The negative influences that were part of my life have long since gone and God has replaced them with friends who are like minded. We encourage each other to be better people. We inspire each other to service – be it to our families or society. My friends support me and make me feel good about myself, my life and my accomplishments, as I do for them. My friends make me feel like I can do anything! I thank God for them. I know now that I don’t need to fear letting go of poisonous relationships because God is able to give me better friendships that are real.

My son just completed his freshman year in college. I allowed that there would be a period of adjustment and, very likely, quite a bit of goofing off. Still, I hoped for the best. Sigh. While he did ok, I felt a little disappointed because I’d hoped for GREATNESS. I’ve always taught my kids that your life can sometimes be a direct reflection of the type of people who surround you. Hang around with people who party and expect to receive that type of reward. Conversely, surrounding yourself with people who are more goal-oriented and focused on the future will reap a different kind of reward. You’ll start to think like they do, emulate them. Reaching for excellence will become the norm, instead of the exception. I’ve encouraged my children to have friends who can influence them in a positive way but also, to be that person who impacts others positively. You are an example, regardless to whether or not you want to be – good or bad is entirely up to you.

Just the other day, my son mentioned that one of his friends got a car. Then he went on to say of his friend, “She is one of the few people I respect.” I thought, “Wow.” He told me how she declared at the beginning of the year that she intended to buy the car of her dreams. For the entire school year, he watched this friend work a “little job”, which was pretty far away. When necessary, she got up early and took the bus, sometimes having to walk to her dorm in the evenings – all the while, saving up for her dream car. She had money but “lived like she didn’t.” She skipped the party scene and ended the school year with a 3.0+ GPA. But the most obvious reward for her efforts was when my son watched her drive up to school in her new car. He knew she’d worked hard for it. He knew the sacrifices she’d made. He admired her drive and determination to reach her goal. And, he realized that he could have done the same thing. She inspired him to want to be better. By her example, she’d proved, more effectively than any lecture I could give, that setting goals and hard work does eventually pay off. She was a good friend and influence on my son. I thank God for her.

To be a good example, you don’t have to be perfect but you should be reaching for something more. As we grow and mature and become better people, we must motivate others around us to become better people. “Strengthen the brethren,” so to speak. It’s our responsibility, not only to cultivate good friends, but to be good friends – to be a good influence and set the positive example. It’s a smart person who sees the poor example but decides to do the opposite. It’s a wise person who sees the positive example and follows that course. Better, by far, is the person who realizes they have the ability and responsibility to influence others and chooses to be the positive example. So I don’t want to be a blind leader of the blind, causing others to fall into a ditch. I aspire to encourage folks to do more, be more, reach for more. And, I’m looking for others who will do the same.

Be blessed,

Loria

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, LORD, so that he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. (2 Kings 6:16-17)

Elisha, the successor to Elijah the prophet, was used by God to warn the king of Israel of an ambush set up by his enemy, Syria. When the trap failed to spring, the king of Syria asked his men, “Ok, which one of you is the spy?” His men assured him that they were not spies but that there was a prophet in Israel who was ruining his plans. So the king of Syria dispatched a group to deal with Elisha. When Elisha’s servant, Gehazi, saw the host coming against them, he was worried and asked Elisha, “What shall we do?” But Elisha was not concerned. He knew what his servant did not know. While Gehazi was a servant of the man of God and had witnessed many miracles, he, himself, was not a man of God. Because of Elisha’s special relationship with God, he saw what his servant did not see. So Elisha prayed that God would open the eyes of Gehazi, so that he, too, could see the help that was available.

It occurred to me recently, that only in our relationship to God can we have the supernatural vision of Elisha. With it, we can see the possible instead of the impossible; we can see the big picture; we can look beyond the evil that men do and see the true source of evil behind their actions; we can see good and miracles in the little blessings in this world. We can we see past our human flaws. This type of sight becomes available to us, only as we draw closer to Him. Elisha and Gehazi are examples of how we view ourselves and our world with God and without God. Elisha saw with more than his natural eyesight because of his relationship with God. Gehazi could not see because of his lack of relationship (as evidenced by his actions later, but that’s another story).

My son and I went to see the movie, Avatar, in 3D. Although he had to pretty much drag me, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. The scenery was beautiful, the special effects were seamless – you couldn’t tell where reality ended and the illusion began. A few times, I caught myself reaching out to swat at something that appeared in my peripheral vision only to realize it was an image on screen in 3D. It was pretty cool. But more than the special effects, the Na’vi had a saying that reverberated within me. When Neytiri finally saw the human form of her lover, Jake Sully, which was much smaller and more helpless than his Avatar form, she said to him: “I see you.” It meant she saw more than his actual body, whether human man or disguised as one of the Na’vi – she saw all the things that made him Jake Sully; mind, spirit and soul. And she loved him – he was not merely his body.

That scene stayed with me because it illustrated a point; seldom do we see our true selves. We look at our exterior and see our lack. We look internally and see our flaws. If only we could see ourselves clearly and love ourselves for who we are, who God has called us to be and not just see a collection of flawed body parts. Women, particularly, have been conditioned to always want the opposite of what they’ve actually been given. Advertisers make millions selling us what we are deficient in. This fantasy woman can only be achieved through plastic surgery, tons of makeup and extensive airbrushing – yet, we reach for her continually. But what if you are meant to be tiny and that is your beauty? And you are meant to be large and that, too, is beautiful? Short hair, long hair – dark skinned, light – skinny or not – all are beautiful. One is not lovelier or better than the other. More or less of anything will not make you more. Men don’t seem to suffer as much regarding their perceived flaws as women do. But the media is chipping away at their self esteem, too.

For a time, my divorce caused me to feel rejected and I constantly looked for the reason. I needed it to make sense. Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough, thin enough, feminine enough, or submissive enough. My self esteem had suffered a crushing blow. My internal message became clear after a while – I was not enough. But, thankfully, I had friends and family who helped me to believe in myself again. They repeatedly told me, drilling in the message until I was able to see myself clearly again – “You are beautiful. You are smart. You are enough.”

Even when not encumbered by my physical flaws, my vision was still a bit cloudy because I began to look at my internal flaws. I wanted to be perfect, like NOW. To never make another mistake again, put my foot in my mouth, hurt someone inadvertently or lash out in anger would be bliss. I wanted to be perfect and holy and live a life that was pleasing to God – to be an Über Christian! I visualized myself in a superhero costume, red cape flowing with a huge C on the front. Yeah! But frequently, I fell short and was left feeling deflated. Sigh. I voiced my frustration to a friend one day and she told me, “You won’t be perfect until you see Him.” In other words, I’m not supposed to be perfect now. Whew. That’s why I needed a Savior. I get that now. I’m so glad that when God sees me, he sees someone worth dying for, someone worth saving, despite my imperfections.

When we look past ourselves, we can see Him. Sure, as we draw closer we will also see where we need to change or improve BUT we will also see our worth and our value and our real beauty through His eyes. I know now, that who I am, is enough. I’m proud of what I have worked to achieve and who I have become. Once, I had a vision, or a thought, maybe it was a waking dream. In it, the words came to me saying that God would heal my eyes and I would have 20/20 vision. Wow, I thought then – no more glasses! But now I get it. The meaning is clear. No more spiritual blindness. I’m beginning to see me clearly – through His eyes. Father, open our eyes that we all may see …

Be blessed,

Loria

“Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name…” (Matthew 6:8-9) aka, The Lord’s Prayer

“So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” (John 11:41-42)

The dishes, again. They had become a bone of contention in my household. Finally, I came up with a solution that I felt would resolve our problem. It did – no more dishes in the sink. Cool. But the resolution hit a snag when my daughter rebelled. No matter how I tried to get her to cooperate, she continued to find loopholes and excuses. I found myself frustrated and yelling. After a few days of this, I said to myself: you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. So, I went and talked to her, discussing what was really going on – which was not so much the dishes as it was an adult child trying to assert herself. (I’d witnessed my son going through the same thing the previous year.) I fell back then on what has ever been my saving grace – prayer. The next day when I got home from work, I was greeted with the smell of a clean house, a living room where everything was in its place AND … no dishes in the sink. That kid. Man, she’s a handful sometimes but she’s also such a blessing.

Once again, my prayer had been answered. I am convinced, more than ever, that God is at work in our lives, always. Even when you don’t know it – especially, when you don’t know it. When my life is turned upside down and nothing seems to make sense, that’s my cue and my clue, to pray. When I am at the end of everything – my patience, my time, my energy, my luck – I turn to God and he helps me. Once while driving home after a long day at work, all I could think of was the responsibilities waiting for me when I got there. I had to get dinner on the table for my kids and prepare a separate dinner for my mother-in-law, a diabetic; then, help with homework and attend to all of their needs. After washing the dinner dishes and straightening the house I would finally get off my feet, which would be throbbing by that time. All while my (then) husband slept, preparing for his night shift at work. As I sat in my driveway, overwhelmed and exhausted, just thinking of all I had to do, I prayed for strength. Finally, I gathered myself together and walked into … a clean house, dinner prepared, children and mother-in-law already fed by a husband who was fully awake. God knew my need, even before I prayed in my driveway. He had already set a plan in motion even before I was fully aware that I needed help.

How important is prayer then, or talking to God? The Bible gives us some insight, as it mentions that Jesus, himself, prayed. So it is important – it’s how we stay connected or plugged into the source of our strength and power. It’s how we abide in him. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ (Acts 17:28) So we know it’s something we should do. For some, prayer can be quite the ritual: formal, kneeling and petitioning God for favor – sometimes involving rising before dawn and spending hours talking to God. Some disciplined folks find comfort in this type of prayer. But for others like me, who are not so disciplined, this type of prayer can be daunting. Must I perform this ritualistic type of prayer for it to be considered true prayer? How should we pray?

Again, we look to Jesus to provide the model. He gave us an excellent place to start and answered this very question – how should we pray? “The Lord’s Prayer” was his response, and has been taught to many of us as children. I used to recite it with my own kids when they were small. But, there came a time when I no longer knelt beside their beds and helped them to say their prayers. As they got older, I knew they would need to know God, develop a relationship and seek him for themselves – to learn how to talk to him. They would need to move beyond the ritual and move into a more relational version of prayer – daughter to Father, Father to son. That leads me to the second example that Jesus provided; an informal, more relaxed version of prayer.

While Jesus was away, Lazarus, whom he loved, died. Jesus knew this but still waited a few more days before going to see his dear friend. He was setting up the miracle. By the time Jesus arrived on the scene, his friend had been entombed for four days. Martha and Mary cried: “If you’d only been here, my brother wouldn’t have died!” Seeing their grief, Jesus, too, wept. He assured them that if they believed, their brother could be resurrected because Jesus is the resurrection! Then he prayed aloud for their benefit, so that we would have evidence of his prayer and his connection with God. But he had already talked to God. It may have been a simple prayer, just at that moment and quick. No time for flowery phrases. Or he could have prayed during his journey to Bethany, conversationally but we have no record of it. It may have been a private prayer, within himself. He knew God heard him and knew he would soon be answered. So Jesus cried, “Lazarus, come forth!” And the dead man came from his tomb, still wrapped in his burial cloths.

I, myself, am a fan of the latter model. I talk to God continually, just as a normal course of conversation. Like He is real and present – because He is. I used to think of myself as not being much for prayer because I didn’t observe the rituals until a friend pointed out to me: Talking to God is prayer. It’s that simple. Ever since I embraced that simple concept, I’ve found that I spend a lot of my day talking to God, telling him my hopes and dreams and aspirations, giving him my fears and concerns. So now, I encourage others to talk to him and have a conversation, rather than to be intimidated by rituals that may make him seem very far away or unreachable. Why? Well, one of the things Jesus accomplished with his sacrifice was to make God more accessible to us all. Simply put, God wants to talk to you! No barriers, no third party involved – just you and him, one on one. So when people get mad and vent to me about God, I shrug and say “Tell him.” Feel like ranting or shaking your fist at the heavens? He already knows, so you may as well tell him. Go ahead and talk to him. He would love to answer you.

Be blessed,

Loria

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” Ephesians 5:15-16

“Carpe Diem!” Latin, meaning: “Seize the day!”

“Watch and Pray …” Matthew 26:41, Mark 14:38 and Luke 21:36

While working as a clerk for a major utility company, it was bought to my attention that the customer service position was the job that everyone wanted. We all desired that job because of the great pay and the overtime hours. It was the one place in the company where anyone could aspire to do well. It was considered a major promotion. But more than the money, this job held a lure for me that I treasured above all, something I never seemed to have enough of – time. That is, time to pursue my interests.

As a working mother of two small children, I missed having time to myself to do anything. The CSRs seemed to have time to pursue other interests like knitting, needlepoint and various puzzles while they talked on the phone. My children took up most of my spare time. To have my own time to do things was a dream. I prayed and said, “Lord, if you give me that job, I’ll use the time to study my bible.” And it was no idle bargain that I struck. What I wanted most, what I desired more than anything, was more time to read my bible. I loved to read. I saw Christians on my job carting their bibles along daily. As a new Christian, I felt a little deprived, like I was missing out. Any job that would allow me to do what I yearned to do was ok in my book.

Soon, an opportunity came along for me to apply for this position. I got the promotion and sure enough, I used my time between calls to read and study my bible, diligently and earnestly. I thought I was doing a good job at keeping my hidden passion under wraps. Then one day a coworker was compelled to ask, “Why are you studying your bible? Are you trying to become a pastor or preacher? Minister? Sunday school teacher?” I shook my head in reply and was momentarily speechless – I’d never thought of what I would do with this knowledge. I wasn’t studying to gain any particular title. I really didn’t have an ambition to be anything bigger than what I was, a wife and mother. But her question made me think. So I answered, “I’m studying because I want to be ready for whatever He has for me. I don’t know what that is – but I want to be ready.”

I was preparing and laying the groundwork with my potential future in mind. When the right opportunity presented itself, I wanted to be able to walk right into it. I wanted to be fully prepared and not have to stop and think, “Yikes! I’m not ready!” I wanted to have knowledge of the bible to draw upon and have attained some level of spiritual maturity so I could do justice to whatever I was called to do. I didn’t know it but God was preparing me, even then. God used that humble beginning to open up many opportunities for me to minister in various capacities. And I was “ready” for every one of them.

I still follow that pattern, to this day. I don’t know what the future may bring but I try to make wise choices and live life so that I can be ready to walk into that opportunity when it becomes available. I’m determined that I don’t want any opportunity to pass me by. I’m constantly laying the foundation for my future endeavors. Even while unemployed, I employed my mind constantly with books on how I could improve myself spiritually, mentally, physically and relationally. I employed myself by constantly working on projects at my church. As I prayed for work, I prepared for a better future, a better me – determined that I would leave that phase in my life better than when I entered.

I remember my high school principal once told a story: A man was on board a sinking ship. He sent the lifeboat on ahead saying, “God will rescue me.” Another boat came along to rescue him and was met with the same reply. Finally, as the ship was going down completely, a helicopter came along and attempted to save him. “No – I’m waiting on God to save me!” The man died and went to heaven, where he asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?” And God answered, “I came THREE times!” God used people to save that man but he was so busy looking for heavenly intervention that he missed his chance to be saved. I think I used to pray like that, in hopes of something manifesting supernaturally. I have since come to the realization that prayer can sometimes open the door but we still need to walk through it.

So when I have a desire now, I pray and watch for the opportunity to materialize. Watch in the biblical sense, means more than see. It’s more active. It means to have an attitude of watchfulness; to be on the alert AND to be in a state of readiness. I take it to mean that you should look for an opportunity but also, be prepared to take full advantage of it. I saw a quote one day that summed it up, nicely: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”(Seneca) I’ve been accused of being lucky or “blessed” and to some extent, that’s true. But it is also due to living in a state of preparation, with the expectation that something good, something big could happen at any time.

I’ve also come to realize the importance of setting goals. There’s just something about stating, in writing or speaking aloud, your goal and how you plan to accomplish it. In recent years, I came across a list that was made before my life changed. It included some possible alternatives to earning an income, such as becoming a realtor and a loan officer – it even included my desire to become a tax preparer! I looked over my list and realized I’d accomplished everything; I was astonished. How? It’s not like I carried my wish list around and checked off things as I did them. The theory and the success behind making lists is that it causes your brain to zero in on opportunities as they become available. Simply put, it makes your brain more watchful and alert.

As I’ve added that to my life, I’ve realized many goals that could have remained only a dream. And I’m looking forward to many more. Even now, I’m preparing and being prepared for the next phase of my life. Some habits that I’ve carried with me for a while, I don’t want to carry into my new life. So I’m working on me – again. I’m determined to change, for the better. And, no, I have no idea what challenges the future will bring. But I will be ready.

Be blessed,

Loria

“While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.” (Matthew 26:6)

There are times in life when you need to be lifted up – to be encouraged and you may not even know it. But God knows. Sometimes, he sends people or events your way that are like a ray of pure sunshine breaking through on a cloudy day. Someone may do or say something uncommonly nice. Something completely inexplicable will happen that makes you smile. God sends these moments for no other reason than to brighten your day. When I see that brightest ray of sunshine, I call it a “God smile.” I mentally picture the sun shining down on me, kissing my upraised face, warming my body and spirit. I’m grateful for these moments when God shows his love in an almost tangible way and it fortifies me. It’s God’s way of saying, “I just want you to know – this is how precious you are to me!”

When the woman anointed Jesus with the costly oil, she didn’t know the significance of her actions. She just wanted to show her love and appreciation for Jesus. She felt like he was more precious than the most expensive perfumed oil – which was nothing compared to his worth. She only meant to show him how much he meant to her. What she didn’t know was that her actions would be recorded and that she would be forever remembered as the woman who prepared Jesus for his burial. God used her to bless Jesus in a tangible way. It was similar to when the Holy Spirit appeared in the form of a dove at Jesus’ baptism. That was a very public act, placing God’s seal of approval on Jesus’ ministry as a voice from heaven declared, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” But this anointing was a private declaration, a private moment between The Father and The Son, meant to fortify him for the ordeal which lay ahead. It conveyed the message, privately, “I know what you’re about to go through and I just want to bless you.” It was a special gift and may even have been a bit of a surprise. I like to think that was a God smile moment.

“I think it piss God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it. People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.” Shug Avery in The Color Purple, by Alice Walker.

One day, I went on a field trip with my daughter’s class to the pumpkin patch. I drove my own car and had to catch up with the group. They were headed into the chicken coop, right off to the side of a large paddock where the horses were kept. As I made my way over, a horse on the other side of the enclosure saw me and made a beeline for me. As he drew closer to me, and I, to the chicken coop, I realized that I would not be able to avoid meeting this huge creature. I love horses, in theory, but in reality, their head is like the length of my torso with a mouth large enough to take a chunk out of my arm. So, while I was drawn to the fantasy, I was put off by his size. He (I’m assuming) seemed gentle enough and hung his head over the fence, as if to say, pet me. I thought, “Wow – cool.” and wondered if God ordered him to greet me. Maybe that seems a bit fanciful but I have to admit, it did occur to me. Still, I took one look at the big head blocking my path and knew I didn’t have the nerve to approach him. I looked him in the eye and told him: “I need you to go back to the other side. I don’t want to play today.” He looked up as if to say “Really?” Go, I said and pointed; he seemed to shrug and walked back to the other side. It was a funny encounter and, like I said, it made me wonder. Would God do that just because he knew it would please me?

When my son was younger, he was a Pokémon fanatic. He loved the series and the trading cards. So when the movie came out, I had to take my kids to see it. As we’re sitting in the theater watching the opening scenes, I saw all kinds of creatures in various colors. Some were funny looking, some were beautiful, but all were interesting. I thought to myself, “Why so many?” And then I answered myself, “To appeal to the children – just to make them smile.” It occurred to me then – that’s what God had in mind when he created our world. It’s why we have plant life in so many forms, edible, inedible; above ground and underwater. He made various animals – some weird and some majestic – and gave us an insatiable curiosity to (hopefully) appreciate them. Some of his creations serve a real purpose and some serve no other purpose than just to make us say “Oh! Wow!” It’s the same reaction I hope to get from my own children when I do something nice for them.

His efforts didn’t stop at creation. He continues to create opportunities to show us how much he cares. I love it when he does something “just because,” making me stop and acknowledge His effort to please me. I realize at that moment, he just showed me he loves me. Or, gave me roses. Maybe even, blew me a kiss. And it makes me feel treasured. There is a sweet story about a little girl who was walking home through a thunderstorm. But she wasn’t afraid. Every time the lightening would flash, she would stop and smile because she thought God was taking her picture! That story makes me recall my own moments when I appreciate something He has done. That’s when I smile at God and He smiles right back at me.

Be blessed,

Loria

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” (Joshua 1:9)

“We must become the change we want to see.” Gandhi

Israel had just lost Moses, the greatest leader, ever. Moses was a prophet and talked to God in a form no other man had seen. Moses was used as an instrument of God and forced Pharaoh to free the Israelites. The fledgling Israelite nation witnessed many acts of God while wandering forty years through the wilderness, including manna from heaven. Of the original group that left Egypt, only a handful of the adults remained. Responsibility was then handed over to Joshua, who had to have some reservations about how he could fill such large shoes. So God commanded him, giving him courage to lead.

Recently, I had the dubious pleasure of reading a post on Facebook, spewing venom about President Obama. While I am not a person who really cares about politics, I thought her comments unfair and harsh. But, I refrained from commenting, thinking that would only give the situation more attention than it warranted. No use fanning the flame. But then someone else commented and summed up the matter nicely, dousing the flame altogether: If you don’t like what he’s doing, run for office and become president yourself! I thought, “Wow – good point!” She pointed out that while she does not agree 100% with President Obama, he has a tough job.

She put the responsibility for change, square in the lap of the original author of the post. Sometimes, we get so caught up in looking at what others are NOT doing that we forget what we CAN do. We always have choices and therefore, a measure of control. If you hate a situation, change it. If you can’t change it, deal with it. We cannot control others behavior. We cannot control a lot of events that happen in our lives. But we can control how we deal with it. We rail and we rant and cry because we feel like matters are out of our control. It’s not fair that we don’t have more control, we think. But we have more power than we realize. Rather than assign blame, which gets us nowhere, ask “How much control do I have? What can I do?”

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

I vaguely recall an episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Lisa sat in the back of the car and he kept poking her. The dialogue went something like this: Poke. “Quit it.” Poke. “Quit it.” It just went on and on. The poke er never got tired of aggravating the poke ee. Although Bart was only poking his sister to bug her, sometimes God pokes us to get our attention and stir us to action.

One Sunday, as we were heading home from church, I polled the kids to see what they wanted to eat. One wanted McDonalds and the other White Castle. I really wanted them to choose just one so we would only have to make one stop but this once, I gave in. I reasoned that we could go through McDonalds drive thru first and then actually eat at White Castle, as they had a “kids eat free” special. So we followed through with our plan; I stepped up to the counter at White Castle and gave my order, asking the young lady about the kids special. She looked confused and asked me to wait while she spoke to a manager. I was confused, too. What was the problem?

She turned to the manager and said, “She has two kids, so she gets two meals, right?” The manager said, “Yes.” And that’s how I found myself with an extra meal, sitting in White Castle. Wow. I couldn’t believe the luck. The kids could eat more, I could take the remains for lunch the next day or we could eat it later – it was just extra food. Cool. As the kids ate, an elderly, homeless man sat next to them, talking and playing with them. He was sweet and they seemed to enjoy his company rather than fear him. He seemed harmless enough.

It suddenly occurred to me that the extra food was not just extra food for us. It was for him. The whole chain of events that deviated from our normal pattern and brought us to eat inside White Castle, rather than drive thru – even indulging the kids by taking them to two separate restaurants, now made sense. Scary sense. Wow. Could God be using me?

So I offered him the food. He politely declined and continued to play with the kids. Okay. Did I get it wrong? Still, I felt something poking at me – disturbing me, stirring me into action. It would not let me rest. Poke. Do it, a voice urged. Poke. Do it. I know, Lord, I reasoned. But he rejected me! I don’t want to risk offending him. Poke. But he doesn’t want it, Lord. Poke. Seriously. Mentally, I’m wiping my face in frustration. Clearly, God is asking me to do something that this fella doesn’t want or need. Perhaps I am mistaken. Maybe he just looks homeless.

We finished our meal and I gathered up our mess, realizing we had exactly the makings of the extra meal left over. Untouched. One drink, two burgers and an order of fries – which, he didn’t want. Okay. I put the left over meal in a bag to take with us. By this time, the elderly man was at the door. Poke. That gentle but persistent nudging gave me the courage and incentive to give it one last try. I held out the bag to him, hopefully – fearful but praying that he wouldn’t reject me again and make a scene. Please let me get it right. I really didn’t want to offend him but I didn’t want to take the chance that I missed the opportunity to obey God. The man reached out and took the bag and thanked me, saying bye to the children as we left.

Whew. I breathed a sigh of relief. And then said a prayer of gratitude as I realized God used me to bless someone! I got it right! Yay! I did a little dance inside my head. I obeyed the voice of the Lord and that made me happy. Yeah. See, I’m not looking to change the world. I don’t have any political ambitions or look to make an impact globally, nationally, or locally. This is in my control. Here is my power. How I choose to live my life daily. How I impact my family and my fellow man. How I leave my mark on this world. I do have power. I have responsibility. I have courage.

Be blessed,

Loria