Tag: meditation

Posted on

The Children’s Bread

The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. But Jesus replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” “Yes, Lord,” she said, “even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Matthew 15:25-27

I recall a conversation I had with my sister some years ago when Puff Daddy (I believe this was before his P Diddy incarnation) was taken to court for child support. Some folks held the opinion that the mother of his children was asking for a lot, far more than she needed. But my sister said, summing up the matter nicely:

“If Puff Daddy rides around in a limousine, so should his children!” In other words, if my father eats caviar (never tasted the stuff, looks unappetizing, LOL!) so will I! That seemed like sound reasoning to me.

When my siblings and I were young, we went through what most children did of our time. You ate what mom cooked. Much of the time, MaDear indulged us and cooked what we wanted, our short order cook and waitress all in one. But I still remember the standoff she and I had over greens – I didn’t want ’em and she was determined I would try them. They were a cold congealed mess when I finally touched the fork to my lips, but try them, I did. I admitted they weren’t bad and I’ve eaten them ever since.

And then there was the showdown between MaDear and my little sister over chicken. (It was epic, on the scale of the Everybody hates Chris episode when Tanya refused to eat the surplus sausage.) The youngest, being the baby, could normally get away with murder although she never did perform anything so heinous. But our MaDear clearly wasn’t having it that day. She stood her ground and informed her baby that she would sit there until she finished that fried chicken leg. My sister wailed and insisted she couldn’t because of a phenomenon we’ve all experienced at one point or another. You know – when you bite into the drumstick and see that ugly red vein protruding – ugh. Even I, whose stomach is not so tender, must admit its appearance can be off-putting.

You will eat it, MaDear insisted, even if you have to sit here all night! 

But my sister couldn’t. Unlike with me, our mother relented when she saw her daughter was genuinely repulsed by that particular cut of meat. For years afterward, she would only eat only the breast, as it contained no obviously offending veins. This brings me to the next well-known tradition in many households, also ala EHC – Daddy gets the biggest piece of meat! The breast belongs to him! But, notice, we ALL ate chicken. If he received steak and gravy, concurrently, so did we all. And my father was a big fan of this notion. It was his habit to purchase gallon sizes containers of ice cream daily during the summer and personally see to it that we joined him in polishing it off. Sometimes I was cajoled into partaking in one of his down-home delicacies, say cornbread and buttermilk (yucky, btw) because he insisted that we eat what he ate. To feed us from his plate was his delight.

Recently, it occurred to me that this analogy held true with the children’s bread. See, my rambunctious Rottweiler Rocco, could not, nor should he, receive everything I eat. (Some of it he wouldn’t even appreciate, being a dog.) But my daughter can. And never does she have to qualify for the privilege or prove her worthiness. She eats what I eat, simply because she is my daughter. I offer it up freely; it is my pleasure. To care for her, even though she is grown, brings me joy.

Today, I thank God for this revelation because I’ve struggled most of my life with whether or not I deserved my blessings. Could I ever earn such a thing, or would I ever be good enough? My life has been a series of failed experiences in proving my value to the world. I’ve spent a good portion of my time creating accomplishments to justify my worth to man. This has been an unsuccessful effort because, mainly, the problem lay with me. I didn’t believe myself worthy. But now I know, my blessings have nothing to do with my worthiness. He is my Father. My value lies in the fact that I am His child. I get what He gets, have access to the things He has access to and I eat what He eats. Maybe He still gets the big piece of chicken, LOL! But in true Father fashion, I am allowed to eat from His plate, sup from His bowl, simply because He wants me to enjoy what He has. I don’t have to do a thing to deserve it, other than be His. Can you imagine a baby deserving a meal? Crazy, right? Think about it – a mother’s breast will excrete milk in response to her baby’s cry. We are hard wired and designed to give to our children, provide for, and respond to their need.

It has been said by some that healing, based on the context of our scripture, is the children’s bread. But I say, let us not stop there. It’s all ours! Everything God has belongs to us. Consider this: Would any of us withhold provision of ANY sort from our children? Is there any advantage we wouldn’t want to give them? And if they asked, or we saw their need, who among us wouldn’t give MORE than enough according to our ability? My children are welcome to anything and everything I have because they are mine. And so it is with God. I’m walking into this new year secure in the knowledge that my Father’s bread, is MY bread. Whatever He has belongs to me. Yes, all the cattle on a thousand hills and more are MINE.

“If you then, imperfect as you are, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:11

Happy New Year,

Loria

Posted on

Reflections

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart has imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Oprah Winfrey

I came across a picture of my daughter and I among my FB memories that made me smile and reflect. So much ugly has been going on in the world, it’s been all too easy to become distracted from my purpose. It’s the goal, or should be, of every Christian to somehow be in this world but, not of it. To know that we are but travelers and should not find ourselves so easily ensconced in the intrigues of this society. But we do succumb, despite our best efforts. It’s what happens when we walk by sight, instead of by faith, by what we see and what’s in front of us, instead of what we believe. 

I recently had an episode where I wound up in the hospital for a few days. It was nothing major, or at least, not something that couldn’t be aided with fluids delivered intravenously and emptying the contents of my gut – an evacuation order which my stomach willingly obliged. It was scary at the time, but simultaneously, not. I think it helped to clarify some things for me, helped to put my life in perspective.

My daughter always accuses me of being overly dramatic when I am sick (a few others may have agreed with her, lol!) but I made my peace with the idea of this being the end, just in case. Yes, I saw a white light – but my brother assures me that was merely in the process of fainting. No, my life didn’t flash before my eyes but my purpose did. I thought of my latest novel and how it wasn’t complete. Not now, Lord! I thought of my children and what leaving would do to them. I needed to tell them I love them. Then, I realized that this is the moment we Christians are supposed to be joyfully awaiting, preparing for this very event – to be absent from this body and present with our Lord. 

Today, a week later, life is back to normal. Obviously, I survived the ordeal with very little harm and a new respect for medications. I probably received the much-needed break and medical attention that I had put off for so long. It’s not what I wanted to happen but I see how the entire episode worked to my benefit. But that’s not what I’m reflecting on today. I heard a song by Brian Courtney Wilson, Worth Fighting For which stirred to remembrance in me:

Eyes haven’t seen, ears haven’t heard, all you have planned for me …

And when I had reached the end of the song I was near tears. Maybe God isn’t finished with me yet. But more than that, I saw what God had already done. This is the day that my life flashed before my eyes. I was suddenly grateful; I am ashamed to admit, as I had never been before. This life is not what I expected. But it has been so worth it, worth living and worth fighting for. No, I didn’t see myself divorced before I turned forty but neither had I seen myself married either. That was an unattainable dream. I knew I wanted marriage but for some reason, I didn’t think it was in the cards for me. Same with children – never saw motherhood for me but I’m so glad God made me a mother. My children remain my constant motivation and are the great joy of my life.

On this day, I realized that even though I didn’t see these things for myself, I couldn’t conceive of it, but God did. Oprah said words to this effect – God’s plan for you is far bigger than anything you could ever imagine. I see now that I have lived a 

blessed life. I can sing as Smokie Norful in Dear God:

It may not be all that I’d hoped for and every dream has not yet been realized

but to see you face one day God I know it’s all gonna be worth it

Lord, so I thank you for … my life

I appreciate every single bit of it – even the bad – because it made me who I am. And it didn’t kill me, it made me stronger, resilient, able to bend but not break under pressure. That’s what this life has done for me. Today, I recall my purpose – to live as a traveler, enjoying what this world offers like one on vacation, knowing all the while that’s it’s nice to visit but I don’t want to stay. I’m keeping my eyes on the prize and wearing this world as a loose garment. I’m resolving to be moved by faith, not by sight. I mean to press onward toward the high calling in Christ Jesus – that calling that invokes in me the desire to utilize all the gifts I’ve been given to His glory. I’m able to enjoy the miracle that Jesus himself didn’t live to see, nor was he meant to – the joy of being a parent. Not only despite my travails but because of them now, I am thankful.

Be blessed,

Loria

 

 

 

Posted on

What NOT to Wear

woman-1439909_1920All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Peter 5:5

I listened as the young minister spoke on pride and how important it was to humble ourselves. Pride goeth forth before destruction and all that. But I thought to myself, Loria are you guilty of pride? I had been accused of being humble and had actually begun to believe it. All things considered, folks thought that I could have a bigger ego because of all that’s going on. I could make a list but that would be ego 😉 Suffice to say, God is still blessing me.

But as I heard the words of the young preacher, his trial sermon, he read the definition of pride and suddenly I wasn’t so sure that I came down on the right side of the equation. I had prayed before he even got up to speak that God would let me hear a good word, something I could use or take away and apply to my daily life. God delivered just that. It came to me that I had a sense of entitlement about support I expected to receive from others. When I didn’t get it, I was understandably disappointed. But I realized that I shouldn’t have been. Hope that people will be there for me,  yes, but that they owe support to me is another thing. That mindset meant I had a right to feel slighted or angry, even, if they didn’t come through. And as the pastor continued with his sermon, I felt more and more convicted. I knew God was answering my prayer for I needed this lesson in humility.

The message continued to minister to me on the way home. I recalled the scripture that said, God hates a proud heart.  Oh! That hurt, but in a good way. I realized that God, being a good Father, was chastening me because he loves me. He wants me to do better. And He also knows that I want to position myself so that I can receive His blessings. My pride could interfere with that, He showed me. I began to ask myself the rhetorical question: What can He do with your proud attitude and sense of entitlement? I say rhetorical because the answer was obvious. Nothing. Not one single thing. The man of God quoted the verse, pride goes before the fall and I knew I didn’t want that to be me. I didn’t want to have to take a tumble to my detriment before I realized my folly. Lord, make me humble before events brings me down low. Don’t let me think more of myself than I ought! We are beautiful to our Creator when he views us through a covering of humility.bride-1969100_1920

But He gives grace to the humble, it then occurred to me. And I knew God  was fostering my understanding. This was a warning coupled with a correction. I was not past redemption. Grace, I have heard, is God’s unmerited favor. Yeah, I want more of that. So He has been dealing with me, truly humbling me. I saw that my attitude was all wrong. Gratitude, it seems, is a close cousin of humility – at least, in my estimation. When I became more humble, I began to thank God for all he’d done, concluding that I’d taken him and his blessings for granted in the past. With gratitude came a fresh realization that no one owed me anything. I began to be simply grateful that others had even thought of me. In humility, there is no expectation because whatever is done for you is gain. Therefore, there can be no disappointment because there is no sense of dashed hopes. Now hope in God is a good thing per the Bible, but hope in people will get you in trouble, LOL! Man will let you down. Because we are human we often fall short of everything we’d like to do for others, despite our best efforts.

Pride says, I should have this! And it is the I, as the fledgling preacher pointed out, which is the problem. That ego, again. The devil’s own sin started with rebellion: I shall ascend,  he said. He sold us on the benefit of this plan and convinced us to follow suit. Eat the fruit, said he, and you shall be like God. Therein lies the problem.We basically say, I don’t want to wait until you bless me, I want to control my own future. I is the root of the problem. Like wayward children who insist on independence when we don’t even know how the world works, we attempt to wrest control from Him because we are not persuaded that he knows best. The I’s have it.

beautiful-1868656_1920But there is no surrender in that, and surrender is important. Only when we give up and give it to him can he do anything with it. Ever heard the phrase, too proud to ask for help? If you don’t ask, though, how shall you receive it? We don’t ask even God because we feel we can and we want to do it on our own. We have problems submitting ourselves, bringing ourselves down low, to man and to God. I thought to myself, if Jesus was lowly and humble, never putting himself above anyone but speaking to sinners who the Pharisees thought beneath them – if Jesus could humble himself and make himself lower than his station – who am I to do less? Humility is the way, folks. The young minister concluded his sermon, “Defeat the enemy with your humility.” Simple. If you want more grace, be more humble. Another minister put it like this: We say we want more of God when really, God wants more of us. That may not mean DOING more. Sometimes that means SURRENDERING more.

Be blessed,

Loria

Posted on

Brother, Brother …

biden and obama“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

President Obama, in one of his final acts before leaving office, made a touching gesture to his good friend and partner of eight years, VP Joe Biden. Bring on the tissue, sniff, sniff! But what came afterwards was even more of a tear jerker. Biden thanked Obama and said he didn’t deserve the Medal of Freedom (with Distinction). He gave Obama the credit, listing the accolades of his good friend, just as Obama had previously listed his. The story that stuck with me and spoke to me this morning was when Vice President Biden wanted to sell his home to afford care for his son (see, even the VP can experience such issues, none of us are immune!) President Obama urged him not to do that, stating instead that he would give his friend the money. Not loan. Give. But this message isn’t about President Obama’s generosity. I believe at that moment, because he reached out to VP Biden at a time when his family was hurting and reeling emotionally, offering support, at that moment the true friendship was solidified as one for the record books. That was when they moved from being good friends to being brothers in arms, in the struggle, bonded together, forged in fire. Their relationship was elevated to more than just mere friendship. Watching their evolution has been one of the great pleasures of their tenure. They have become an example to us all.

Friendship is a great thing – mutual admiration of each other, enjoyment of one another’s company, a buddy to attend events with or a confidante to share your secrets – that’s all good. But there is a defining point in a relationship where you can say, “This person is FOR me. They love me.” That’s the next level. The day you realize your friend is pro-YOU is a wonderful day. They are on your side, demonstrably, no matter what. That day came for me recently when my good friend came to a book event with me. I can’t even begin to describe all the ways she helped me at that time. From talking to people while I was otherwise engaged, to taking money (cuz the sales were coming fast and furious, thank God!), making her own sales, running errands – she was simply indispensable. I could not have had the measure of success enjoyed that day without her help. She became an extension of me. I trusted her to speak for me. I loved her before but I loved and appreciated her so much more after that. An occasion such as this will cause you to know who is more than just a mere friend. I was then, and am now, ever grateful for the people God has placed in my circle. He is always showing me the gifts he has placed around me.Viola Davis

Then there was the time another friend offered me a wonderful opportunity to sing before an audience where the incomparable Viola Davis was to be the keynote speaker. He trusted me to be his go-to person. Or, the time a friend went to toe to toe with a supervisor for me (in my absence) so hard that the next day, said supervisor was mad at me! That’s still funny because I hadn’t actually done anything to her. She just picked the wrong person to talk about me in front of, LOL! Those are the moments when you realized that someone outside of your family was undeniably FOR you. They have proven to be more than just friends. They become accepted as family, and are accorded as such.

So, there are stages to relationships. The Bible refers to us as His servants, then friends and lastly, adopted children who are grafted into the family with full rights and privileges of one naturally born. Abraham began as servant but was elevated to friend (Isaiah 41:8), as was Moses (Exodus 33:11). But Jesus went to the highest level. He declared the disciples to be more than servants and his friends but He also referred to God as “Our Father” meaning, they (and thus, we) had become family. My brother has said to me often, regarding my walk: “You reach a point where you move from servant to daughter.” That is my goal. God is calling us to higher relationship with Him. As we grow in love and grace and wisdom and His Word, that’s kind of the point. There are different levels to each position. A servant is not actually a bad thing, it’s just not the highest level. A good and faithful servant can be trusted with the things that are important to His Master. Friendship can be a fickle thing at times, depending on how you feel. Even Jesus found that out in the Garden of Gethsemane. Although they were his friends, self-preservation kicked in and they ran. The Apostle John was more than servant, more than friend. He stayed and saw things through until the end. Jesus even entrusted John with the care of Mary. John had proven that no matter what happened, he was pro-Jesus.

meet the fockers

Family is something altogether different from even the highest phase of friendship. Family doesn’t run. They stand by you even if that’s all they can do. To be associated most intimately with God is the level for which we’re striving. My family helps me in my endeavor to build my business (and I, them), not only because they believe in me but because they love me and want to see me prosper. Family can be counted on to not talk about you when your house is dirty; they’ll even help you clean it! It is the highest level, like that “circle of trust” in Meet the Fockers. May we all be counted worthy to enter in.

” … but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Proverbs 18:24

Be blessed,

Loria

 

Posted on

The Christian in Christmas

1482417289141“I would leave off the Christian,” was the advice I was given regarding my books. Christian fantasy adventure is the genre, more specifically, and young adult fiction. Honestly, I’ve pondered the same thing for a while. Not because I’m ashamed to own Christ and proclaim myself a follower,  mind you. I’ve given it some consideration because the term Christian has taken on a negative connotation these days. To say I’m Christian may, in the eyes of some, automatically align me with those who also claim to follow His teachings, even though we may differ greatly in our beliefs and practices. It could be a turn off for some. You know, guilt by association.

We’re supposed to be all about love, right? But devotees are often anything but. To paraphrase Bon Jovi: we give love a bad name! Even still, I am persuaded that the world needs to hear more about Jesus, not just about his followers (who are flawed), so I can’t abandon the effort. I believe that God, since the Touched series was his idea, will give aid to my cause and make this successful despite the negative publicity.

I would, though, implore my fellow Christians to do as Christ urged so that the world would know us by our love. Love our brother who is made in His image, like we say we love our Father. Let  us endeavor to do more than put Christ in the holiday greeting and squabble over the Christmas message on the Starbucks coffee cups. How about we strive to do what he called us to do? Love one another. Simple.

And while we’re at it, I’d like to address another topic that can gnaw at Christians during this season: the tree. What’s that about? Isn’t it part of pagan celebrations? It doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas, right? Therefore, we think that means we shouldn’t have anything to do with that part of the holiday.

I’ve got news for you. If not for the attachment of Christianity onto the then existing pagan celebrations, I doubt the message would have become so widespread. It really was brilliant marketing on the part of the Catholic church in its embryonic stage. Pure genius, inspired thinking, you might call it. See, the masses were not atheists for the most part. They believed in a higher power and were more likely polytheists. So what you wanted was a transference from one worship experience to another. How do you get people to do that? Give the day another name. Introduce new traditions with added significance until the holy day takes on a new meaning.

So while we may want to reject the pagan aspects of Christmas, we cannot deny the impact they had in spreading the Gospel and making it known throughout the world. Paul actually set the example for conversion when he came to Athens. The people there served many gods. But Paul was determined to get through to them by any means possible. So he proclaimed that he’d come to them on behalf of a god they already knew: The Unknown God. He took advantage a concept they were already familiar with to introduce some basic tenets of our faith (Acts 17:16-34). And so did the early church, piggy backing on things that were already set in place. That was just plain smart.

“But that doesn’t matter … the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice.” Philippians 1:18

I said all that to say, be at peace with your traditions even if they come from celebrations that predate Christ. As long as it brought you to the knowledge of Jesus, it’s all good. What’s more important is that Jesus and the miracle of his birth, life, death, burial and resurrection is preached. And that the world know that his love and salvation is accessible to all, providing a way for us to be restored to our right relationship with God the Father. In this, the ends have justified the means. Now, isn’t that good news? You’re welcome, lol!

Merry Christmas!

Loria

P.S. And don’t even get me started on the day we chose to celebrate! EVERY day is a day that the Lord has made. It all belongs to Him! Let all hearts be clear 🙂

Posted on

Stir It Up!

1480523336291

There are some things that should never be stirred. Like a pot of burning food, especially when all the liquid evaporates out of that pot of greens or beans you’ve been cooking. Don’t stir! It’s the worst thing you could do, per my mother, unless you’d rather render the entire dish unsalvageable. Stirring will only bring the burnt taste from the bottom and have it completely permeate the contents.

On the other hand, you do want to stir your coffee or tea after adding sweetener. Or that big pitcher of lemonade. Stirring, in this case, will release the goodness of the sugar. Instead of settling in the base of the container, you’ll get sweetness with every sip. Ah yes!

You can make a wonderful gravy out of pan drippings if you let your grease sit for a bit after cooking. Upon cooling, those lovely pieces of meat and browned flour will settle on the bottom, allowing you to pour off the grease and get to the good stuff. Try that too soon and you’ll lose some of your best flavoring. Now once you add your liquid, you’ll want to stir, stir, stir until you have that base throughout your gravy. These images, the possible benefits and disadvantages of stirring, came to mind when I thought of this scripture:

“For this reason I remind you to stir up the gift of God …” 2 Timothy 1:6

Recently, I have been extremely busy promoting my books, which is a good thing. It seems that as I do more to advance myself as an author, I see more ways I can further my cause. I’m meeting people who can help me and finding ways I can help myself. My actions are stirring up something in the spirit. I see the atmosphere now as being cluttered with opportunities. The air around me is churning with them, somewhat like a sky is full of hubris during a tornado. I’ve never sat thru one so I have no idea what that looks like up close (terrifying, I’m sure)! But in my mind, I picture it the only way I can, like the object ridden sky in the Wizard of Oz. All kinds of things were stirred up by the winds, for good or bad – in Dorothy’s case, good, but not so much for the Evil Witch.

In Timothy’s case, Paul reminded him that gifts were embedded in his DNA, passed down from his mother and grandmother. He couldn’t let them lay dormant. Several versions put it thusly: Fan your gifts into a flame! Picture ash covered coals, dying for lack of tending or purpose, suddenly being called into action! USE THEM, the Apostle urged the young disciple, knowing these gifts were given to Timothy for a reason. And don’t be fearful or timid about it! Go forth with conviction and confidence. God has called you into service. Preach His Gospel unashamedly, boldly. Stir up the smoldering embers which were entrusted to you until it has become a full-blown fire!

A lot of us enjoyed smoked turkey on this past Thanksgiving. My brother in law made his version, injected with jerk spices. YUM! It came to mind, just now, how impossible a feat this would have been without a good fire, tended and stirred occasionally, for just this purpose.

And so it is with God and my fortunes right now. The air and the sky are full, rife with promise, just waiting for me to take advantage of them. As I recommit myself to my purpose, stirring up the gift that was bequeathed to me by those who came before me, God is meeting my efforts and redoubling them. Gifts and blessings are like that sugar in the bottom of your jar of ice tea which does no good if sweetness is not distributed throughout. It cannot lie fallow if it is to be effective. Or like the fire on your grill which needs careful attention if it is to remain active. You can’t let it die out if you want to enjoy the smoky, succulent meat. Lord, I pray that you would continue to bless me, let opportunities swirl and collect about me, so dense I cannot help but see what you have made available to me. Let me pluck them out of the sky and use them to benefit me, my family and even the world. And let the fire of your purpose continue to grow hot in me.

Be blessed,

Loria