Tag: love

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Love Unmasked

As a Libra, I’ve been told that we can hold a grudge for a long time. But I don’t really believe in zodiac signs all that much. My kids however, can attest to my ability to hold on to something and just not let it go. It’s sad really. So, God has been dealing with me lately about love. Real love, not that fly by night stuff that depends on your feelings. Love that is lasting, that believes all, suffers all. Yep.

See, I always thought if you love someone you’d act a certain way. Treat that person right and all that. Some people have fallen short in my eyesight. They didn’t quite treat me the way I felt they ought, if they indeed loved me. But then I realized, they were not the only one who came up short. When you love someone, it should mean more than mere words. And I think I’ve been paying lip service all this time.

There resides in all of us, another person, an ugly individual that we hope no one ever sees. A good friend will understand, forgive, and excuse such behavior. Even make you feel good about it. Some of my best memories are of friendships where the love continued after my ugly side had been displayed. One girlfriend brought me to tears, and freed me, by these words: There is nothing you can do to make me love you any less. I’m getting misty eyed just thinking about it now. That kind of acceptance of me and my flaws just floored me. Truly brought me to my knees, y’all!

But what of when I am required to do the same? All this time, I’ve been thinking that I’ve been capable of that kind of love when I’m not. Sure, I put up with another’s alter ego for a while but eventually, I decide that I’ve taken enough. The ugliness makes me flee because I felt if they truly loved me, they wouldn’t do certain things. I thought about what they should have done versus what they did and what my response should be. There was a limit to my patience and therefore, my love.

Where is the real love in that? And I pride myself on not being reactionary, normally. Maybe I need to just be more like: “I love you, friend, but you’re crazy asl! I still love you, tho!” Real love carries on DESPITE how badly we behave. It doesn’t run.

The only folks in my life that I know for sure I love beyond any disagreement, poor judgement or bad behavior are my immediate family. But God is calling me to more. When I say I love someone, to really love them. Even the ugly in them. Or to at least stop bandying that word around. It becomes meaningless if you base your love on conditions.

I heard a pastor put it like this: Love is perfect but we administer love from flawed vessels. The person we see and love is just a facade which hides that person who believes themselves unlovable at their core. So our love must go deeper than the surface, to the person they truly are and are trying so desperately to hide. My endeavor and my assignment is to love, really love, and to mean it.

So why this message of love right before Christmas? At this time of year, we dwell on it as much, or more than on Valentine’s Day. Peace on earth, goodwill towards men. For God so loved the world that he gave his only son. This season was made for love. This is also the time of year that we don’t reach out to our own loved ones and friends, all because of a disagreement or infraction. But this is the time when, likely, they need love more than at any other time. Your mission is to love someone, really love them and trust God, trust love to work out the kinks in your relationship. For it is the love of God that reconciled us to him, despite our sins. Love won. And it still does.

Love one another, as I have loved you. John 15:12

Be blessed,

Loria

 

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No Ordinary Love

Sade
Sade, No Ordinary Love

“The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.” Hosea 1:2 KJV

One area in which God has been dealing with me lately is love. More specifically, as it has to do with forgiveness. Like many people, I struggle in this because I have been hurt, abused and taken advantage of by others. I am damaged. So I admit that in the past, I have loved warily, instead of freely. And I have held grudges so long, I thought I would take them with me to the grave. I could repeat the story of the offense because I had rehearsed it and nursed it. And, it was only causing further damage, not healing me.

See, I had fallen for the lie, the GREAT lie, that love is not supposed to hurt. That it should be as natural as breathing. That if it was from God it would be effortless. That if he was the one for you, your union would be blessed. That love would be easy. The greeting card industry would have us believe that love looks like hearts, bows and flowers. It smells like perfume and potpourri. It tastes like chocolate, wine and maybe even a nice dinner. They would also have us believe that love is random and involuntary – Cupid’s bow determines who you love. Therefore, you cannot choose who you love. We’ve been conditioned to believe that love is a feeling as illustrated by a few recent Facebook posts: “People no longer date – they have sex, then catch feelings.” (Sad, but true!) And, “I HATE MEN … never mind – he called.” (Funny, also true.) A friend confessed that he felt he loved a girl because they fought like cats and dogs. Those were intense feelings. But as one of my favorite characters said, “Don’t confuse quantity of emotion with quality of emotion.”

So we have many examples of what love is. But none of these are real, true love. Maybe I don’t have all the answers. Maybe I haven’t even experienced it … yet. But I know what it is not. Love is not emotion. Feelings are deceitful and fleeting, changing from one moment to the next. Love is not the result of something someone does or doesn’t do for us. It is not the result of an action. It is not pristine and sterile, sweet smelling or beautiful. In fact, I submit that true love is sometimes unsavory and ugly. It is not accidental or aimless, but directed and purposeful. Real love is imperfect because we are. It is delivered by damaged people to damaged people.

The prophet Hosea was commanded to take a wife with a shady past. He could not be sure that she would not return to her life of promiscuity. God had not even “saved” her or delivered her from that previous lifestyle. She wasn’t a cleaned up version of herself. Gomer was a woman known to sell her body for money. She married the man of God, but she did not change her ways. Then again, it appears that she was not expected to do so. That was never the point.

“Then the LORD said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the LORD still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.” Hosea 3:1 NIV

The prophet was ordered to redeem his wife and treat her as if he loved her, not as if she had betrayed him. God wouldn’t let his servant give up on her. Gomer was to be an example of God’s unfailing love. Real love is active. It doesn’t just lay there waiting for a feeling. True love forgives and gives us another chance. Love never fails. Never. We fail in doing all that love requires because we are human. We let our emotions and the situation get the best of us. Our “shouldn’ts” get in the way. I shouldn’t forgive them after all they did to me; they hurt me. And we remind ourselves constantly of that pain, holding it as a shield before us so that said person cannot get close enough to do us harm again. But love doesn’t remember hurts, nor rehearse them. We fall short in doing all that love requires because we are human. And it ain’t easy. I tell you, if we knew everything that real love entails, we wouldn’t say to people so carelessly, “I love you,” in the same way we declare our love for black walnut ice cream (my personal favorite) or Garrett’s cheesy/caramel mixed popcorn.

We even go so far as to not pray for the person who offended us. But that is not the example Jesus provided at the cross. Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. At that moment, Jesus was a victim of the ugliest side of humanity: mob action. Mocked and jeered, flayed and tortured, he interceded for his abusers. And by the way, it is a sin to not pray for others. Yep, per the Apostle Paul. Real love prays for those that spitefully use us, as Jesus instructed. Even as his accusers were putting him to death, he displayed love for his abusers. Crazy, right? (Talk about Stockholm Syndrome!) But real love is crazy. That’s agape or godly love. It is determined and persistent and prevailing despite the circumstances. It witnesses the ugly, unsavory, the seedy elements in us all and responds with hope. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not keep a record of wrongs. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures ALL things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Whew – that’s a tall order!

I heard an evangelist testify that during the early part of her marriage, her husband repeatedly beat her for “breakfast, lunch and dinner.” She stayed. Loving flawed, damaged people is not easy. And I’m not advocating that anyone stay under such circumstances. Neither did she. The evangelist often said during her testimony: “I’m not telling YOU what to do, I’m just telling you what I did.” I couldn’t have sat through that for my children’s sake, I know. But she did, along with her children. They also witnessed the transformation of that man from an abuser to one who loved his wife wholeheartedly. Had she left, she and her kids would have missed the miracle.

I admit, I do not have a handle on that kind of love. It’s scary to contemplate. In it, you have to surrender your right to feel wronged. Wow. The only people I know for sure that I love with that kind of devotion are my children. Oh yeah! Now I get it. We are His children. He loves us unconditionally. And we are to display that kind of love to others, no matter whether it is deserved or how hard it may be. May God help us all.

Be blessed,

Loria

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Choices, choices …

"I choose a mortal life," Lady Arwen ~ Lord of the Rings
“I choose a mortal life.” Lady Arwen, LOTR

For our dying bodies must be transformed into bodies that will never die; our mortal bodies must be transformed into immortal bodies.

Corinthians 15:53

As anyone who is familiar with me knows, I can be a bit of a science fiction fan. I say “a bit” because science fiction is only a small part of what I like to read and it seems to be a genre with which more folks are acquainted. But I truly love fantasy adventure, young adult fiction with supernatural leanings, specifically. It goes back to my early childhood when I used to pick up my brothers’ comic books and teach myself to read. (To this day, there are still words I mispronounce because I learned by sounding them out as best I could!) The Archie digests, Richie Rich and Casper were faves, but the superheroes! They were the best – action, adventure, super powers, villains – BAM! POW! Cartoons and comics were wonderful, colorful and self-explanatory because of the pics. They were also a great way to improve reading comprehension and vocabulary. They built my imagination and increased my sense of wonder. Because these traits outlasted my childhood, I believe they contribute to my ability to look to God for great things even today.

I also credit my growth early on as a reader (and subsequently, writer) to The Book of Beautiful Bible Stories. I read my grandmother’s illustrated copy until it fell apart. (I actually found a copy at a library book sale when my children were young. I can tell you, I am quite happy to have it in my possession!) That was pretty much it for books, as I recall, until I was sent to a new school in the fourth grade – Walt Disney Magnet School. It was as magical as it sounds and a great opportunity for my family. I enjoyed the experience immensely and still carry fond memories of my time there.

After being there a short while, I noticed certain children walking around with a book under their arm. Not a textbook, mind you, but what I know now as a paperback novel. I was curious. Why did they carry this book? Was it assigned? It wasn’t a comic or picture book and the cover was dark and depressing instead of bright and attractive. It didn’t look like your typical children’s book. Hmmm. It piqued my interest and one day, while visiting the library, I spied the tome and was able to sate my curiosity. Little did I know, The Hobbit would take me on a lifelong journey to a world where the pictures would no longer be physically necessary. Instead, I would be required to create them with my imagination. But it would not be a chore as the author went to great pains to supply plenty of clues to aid the process so that my mental picture would be complete.

Other books of the same genre soon followed, most notably, The Lord of The Rings. Movie adaptations of LOTR failed to impress, although I so much wanted to be. Then came Peter Jackson’s version of the J.R.R. Tolkien classic. At last – a movie that did justice to the book! (It’s a three part book, people – not a trilogy!) So many times I had been disappointed with Hollywood’s take on my favorite stories. This was one of the few occasions they didn’t let me down. Normally, I found The Two Towers (Part II) laborious. Not so. The battle scene was thrilling. (Orlando Bloom in tights, shooting arrows and performing an insane flip to mount his horse – need I say more?) I was even pleased with the liberties taken with the story line. The added embellishment to the secret love of Aragorn and Lady Arwen kept me enthralled. The heroes of one of my best loved tales leapt off the page and sprang to life.

And then Arwen said something that I don’t recall from the books. But I have not been able to forget it ever since. “I choose a mortal life.” It may have come from one of other, lesser known books the author created in that same world, providing a back story for the works that would become famous. It has been said of Tolkien that he was Christian and that these stories were Christian in nature. Keeping that in mind, the parallel that I drew from his character to Christ did not seem so strange.

See, Arwen was one of the Eldar. Actually, daughter of a great king among the elves, Elrond. As such, she had the capacity to live a very long life. Potentially forever, if not killed. The elves were portrayed as angelic, though flawed. They could alternate between being beautifully ethereal and at times, terrible to behold. By contrast, hobbits had a life expectancy somewhere around the life span of man before the flood. Bilbo and Frodo, for example, were in their third century of life when their adventures began – equivalent to our early thirties. Aragorn aka Strider represented man after the flood. He would age at what could be considered, for us, a normal pace. Which left Arwen with a dilemma. I’m sure you could imagine it. How could she and her love be expected to overcome their age difference? He would expire long before she would even think of dying. But because she loved him, she would not want to outlive him. So, she made a choice. He could not become Eldar. The only option was for her to give up her longevity and join him. Only great love could cause one to make such a sacrifice.

Essentially, this is what Jesus, the son of God did when he put aside his divinity to become one of us. Stepping out of eternity, he entered our time stream to become like his creation, to experience life as we do. Jesus hungered and was thirsty, he got tired and was sleepy; he dealt with the same limitations of a mortal body that we do. He knew what it was to love and be injured by love, to be betrayed and deserted by his friends. In short, he became one of us. He loved us enough to not leave us here by ourselves, choosing to die with us, for us, as one of us so that we could live forever with him. He chose a mortal life. Because of his sacrifice, we can now choose immortality. Yep. Just ours for the taking. Jesus gave it all up to give us this opportunity. In effect, He pressed the re-set button. How many of us have thought, if i were in the Garden of Eden, I would’ve done things differently? Or, if only they hadn’t partaken of the forbidden fruit? Well, we now have the same choice set before us as Adam and Eve. Life and death, immortality or mortality. Therefore, let us choose wisely so that on the day of His return, like Arwen, we may be reunited with our King.

Be blessed,

Loria

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Running with the Wolves

I’ll be honest. Brutally. I’ve avoided blogging for a while. Been turned off to it for quite some time now. All because of those who perpetrate and pretend to be Christians. They give those of us who are His disciples a really bad name. I’m not ashamed of this gospel but I don’t want to be counted amongst that number. We’re supposed to be good guys, people! But folks have got it twisted, thinking they are THE (ONLY) GOOD GUYS aneyes-712125_1280d, as such, above reproach. Oh, it breaks my heart, really it does, to see the foolish and vile things we visit upon our fellow man in the name of Christianity. Jesus said the world would know us by the love we have for one another. That would be the evidence, proof that we belonged to Him and that we are His disciples. So let’s ask ourselves, in light of that scripture: What are we really showing the world about us, as those who espouse His teachings and citizens of the oft proclaimed “God’s country?” It’s sad, truly and if you think God is down with it, you’re wrong. If Jesus came back today, looking for his church (without spot or wrinkle) would he even recognize you? Or would he count you as one of the goats – you know, one of those non-believers that we have been conditioned to look down upon. Would He see you, claim you as one of His own or call you out as a Pharisee so busy straining out the gnat that you swallow the camel? Worse yet, would He identify you as one of the wolves come to deceive the flock. Let us examine ourselves more closely. What would the evidence reveal about you? As one of my late pastors used to sing, “you oughta show some sign” of being a Christian. If only there were such a thing to indicate where our loyalties lie, a way to know for sure. Aha! But there is! It is LOVE.

Be Blessed,

Loria