Tag: inspiration

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Chasing God

runners-373099_1280“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

“I’m chasing after you, no matter what I have to do – ‘cause I need you more and more!” Chasing after you, Bishop Paul Morton

I remember hearing Claire Huxtable sing, “Seek ye first,” with the Hillman (aka Spelman) choir on the Cosby Show years ago. It was a beautiful rendition – oh, the harmonies! I just loved the song and the message. But to the young girl I was then, the idea of foregoing all the things I wanted to do and pursue was the waste of my opportunity to have a good time. Serving God could get in the way of that. Fun and adventure awaited me, I had my whole life ahead of me. Put God first? To me that meant church, church and more church, LOL! I thought, later for that! You mean I can’t live my life, do what I want to do, go where I want to go? I gotta be all holy? Really wasn’t trying to hear it.

But as the Bible says, when I was a child, I spake as a child. After having lived half a century on this here earth, I’ve learned a thing or two. One, that I put all of that energy into doing what I wanted to do first and it got me nowhere. I didn’t do it God’s way. Two, that chasing church is not the same as chasing God. You can attend church several days a week and give all your money in the offering plate, but it won’t get you closer to God. Only time spent with Him, in the Word, and trusting and relying on Him, building that relationship will do that.

Until recently, I was still unable to fully embrace the concept of going after God, not the things of this world, and trusting him to provide and grant me the desires of my heart in the process. God is spoon feeding the revelation to me, only as much as I can handle, before moving on to the next lesson He has for me. He’s building it line upon line, precept upon precept. After An Open Heaven revealed that we have access to God, ALWAYS, it occurred to me that there was a responsibility now on me. Not so much to do more, but to turn to Him more and rely on Him only. I had spent my life in the pursuit of things – money, health, job, love. I guess I kinda just thought He would find a way to fit in there organically, LOL! But that’s not how this works, as the lady in the commercial says. That’s not how any of this works!

When God revealed to me the gospel truth that I have access to Him, it revolutionized my way of thinking. Once I realized all that He is doing for me, I asked the question: What must I do? What is my response to His goodness? Notice that I’m not trying to invoke His blessing. I already have it. But I want to be up under Him, under His wings, basking in the glow of His love, sitting at His feet and learning. I find that the more time I spend with Him the more time I WANT to spend in His presence.

And God is going to do more, even greater than He already has in my life. It’s already begun. He’s doing it right now, just in changing the way I think and pray. He’s shifted my focus. I used to pray for Him to change my situation, now I look for Him to change me. I see that the more I grow, the more my situation changes. One day I considered this scripture: Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers. (3 John 1:2)

Now, I took that to mean that as I grew spiritually, I would also prosper financially and physically. I visualize a set of scales, with one side representing your soul and the other ALL of the things you feel you need and want. As you add to the side that truly matters, feeding your spirit man, the other side would balance out accordingly. And that makes sense. I’m seeking a harmony of both in my life. So, all of these years that I have been chasing these things, they would have come to me, had I chased HIM. I’ve been putting the cart before the horse. I’ve been doing it all wrong.

As a matter of fact, the verse preceding the well-known, seek ye first scripture admonishes us to NOT worry about all of that – what to wear, what to drink, or where to live. God knows that we need that. That’s basic. But if we go after Him, these things will come after us. So I’ve made up my mind to be done with the foolishness, this way that does not work, and pursue God only, trusting that he will bring the things that I not only need but also desire into my life.

Ah, but there’s something else at work here. An element of SURRENDER. If I give it all to you, Lord, I’m trusting you with the outcome. And faith, too – cuz you gotta believe that He can DO IT! Oh, so many good things are coming from drawing closer to you and they’re not only tangible. Grow me, Lord, like a flower. Increase me, Father, so I can do more of Your will. Decrease me, so that I can be filled with more of you. I don’t want anything right now more than I want you. More of you, Lord, is my prayer.

Be blessed,

Loria

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An Open Heaven

clouds-385290_1280So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me.” John 11:41

I sat in church on Sunday and listened as the pastor expounded on his topic. See, this is the Year of Jubilee in Jerusalem, according to the pastor. Every seven years God granted the Israelites a get out of jail free card, so to speak. It was a time when every man was forgiven his debt and regained his freedom if he were enslaved. He could start over fresh. (Our bankruptcy laws seem to follow this pattern.) After seven cycles of these periods of forgiveness, the Year of Jubilee was proclaimed and the Israelites were assured of additional blessings, i.e., given back property that he’d mortgaged, for example. So the pastor had a list of seven blessings that he determined were also a result of Jubilee: Presence of God, double portion, family blessings, miracles, financial abundance, restored relationships and an open heaven.

My mind fixated on that last one, considering the possibilities. I got excited the more I thought about it. I mean, I really bought into it. I believed it meant I could pray and have God’s ear always and therefore, was more likely to have my request granted. Every blessing listed could be mine, similar to how Solomon asked for wisdom and received wealth and peace, as well. The concept seemed to me a wonderful catchall. It covered everything. It was like getting a surprise bonus, a twofer, a bogo. (You should have seen me the other night when my brother got my frozen yogurt free with his purchase at my favorite shop, LOL!) I latched on to the idea eagerly. The pastor said, “Point to your blessing and call it out!” (The words were displayed prominently around the walls of the sanctuary.) Obediently, I pointed to An Open Heaven, figuring it would get me the most bang for my buck! I receive it, I cried aloud with the rest of the congregation.

But my mind said, “Hey! Wait a minute!” The entire premise is predicated on our covenant being the same as the Israelites. But it’s actually not. The covenant of Israel can seem appealing (blessed coming and going, in the city and the field, lender not a borrower and all that) but the new covenant is better. The old testament or covenant is contingent on being able to keep the law. If you break one, you are guilty of all. The new covenant, the Bible says, is a better covenant. The blood of Jesus does what the sacrifices of goats and bulls could not do. It saves and cleanses and forgives and restores continually. While we are descendants of Abraham (“And if you be Christ’s, then are you Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” Galatians 3:29) because of our faith, we are entitled and can lay claim to the promises made to him.  It’s just not limited to a certain time during a specific year.

I realized that Jesus died so that I can have access to heaven every second of every minute of every hour of every day. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. So in reality, I already have the ear of God, always. He hears me and answers my prayers. I don’t need to proclaim a special year to receive that. My former pastor once said of the coming new year, “Every year can’t be your year!” Au contraire mon frère! Oh, but it can! Because the veil has been taken away, I have unlimited access to God. I can come boldly, confidently to his throne and make my request as His daughter.

I was elated. If news of one Jubilee year got me excited, a lifetime of being able to claim these blessings made an even bigger impact. Membership has privileges, I thought to myself as I quoted an old commercial. I became bolder in my prayer life and began to believe God for more. And I saw more results. What if, all this time, I was only hindered by my belief or lack thereof? So I began to pray like Jesus and know I have the very ear of God. I no longer wonder now. I know this of a certainty. Thank you Father, that you always hear me. Oh, the blessings in store for us now that we know we have them! I feel I have found a treasure that is secret no longer. And that is good news, indeed!

Be blessed,

Loria

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Let’s go crazy!

Prince“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people …” (1 Peter 2:9)

“And if the elevator tries to break you down, go crazy!” Purple Rain soundtrack

This is one of the first images, my early recollections of the Artist who would be known as Prince. Little did I know then that he would become embedded, intertwined in the fabric of my life. I consider myself somewhat of a fan, though not a fanatic. I would find myself singing a Prince tune frequently, mostly when I was happy. For some reason, more often than not, it was Raspberry Beret … the kind you find in a second hand store, LOL! And nothing can get me stoked like the first bars of Glamorous Life (to this day, I am fascinated with female musicians, especially drummers), Nasty Girl (Don’t judge me!) and When Doves Cry. I was your typical young girl; if it had a great beat, catchy refrain and made me want to dance, count me in. And on a particularly morose first day of my work week, you could hear me singing Manic Monday. But the love for his songs continued past my youth. After my divorce, I found and fell in love with his rendition of, I can’t make you love me if you don’t. But even that was more because of his arrangement and vocal style than because of the depressing subject matter. So many great songs and wonderful memories. A childhood friend remarked, after meeting him, that he was tiny. Smaller than her and she was pretty petite. But his stage presence was larger than life.

Purple Rain was a huge hit, it even received a ringing endorsement from Roger Ebert (which was pretty cool at that time). I remember our excitement and fever at the prospect of going. And it was a movie for grown ups. Unlike a lot of musical talent today, he didn’t try to appeal to the tween generation of his time. He made his music, racy lyrics and all, unapologetically. I give him points for living his life on his terms. Even to changing his name when it suited him and refusing to be owned by the powers that be. It takes courage and a great sense of self to do that in a world that’s always pushing us to conform. His musical genius is, was undeniable.

One song which arose from that movie, I could count on to pick me up most times when I was feeling down: Let’s Go Crazy! For some reason the lyrics to this particular song resonated with me. “Not gonna let the elevator BREAK US DOWN!” That elevator was life. That elevator was The Man, people in authority, your boss or anyone that tried to oppress you, to put you down and keep you down. The circumstances and situations that arose to test your resolve to excel, to challenge your determination to succeed. That elevator, man, you couldn’t let it get to you. This appealed to the rebellious streak in me. My manager used to always ask this question after a training session to ensure that it had been helpful: What are your take aways? I took this message from the life of Prince: when faced with obstacles, get radical. Be so good at what you do, you can’t be ignored. Smile in the face of your haters, perpetrators and instigators, knowing that you can’t be stopped from reaching your goal. That way of thinking could require some arrogance on your part (or so it may seem to an onlooker) or, great faith in God who bestowed upon you unimaginable gifts that could propel you.

When I was a little girl, my family lived in an apartment building on the eighth floor. Frequently the elevator would break down. Which meant for us, a manual trip up and down those eight flights of stairs. No mean feat, I can assure you, after a visit to our local grocery store where my mother would shop for her family of, coincidentally, eight people. So of course, she could not let a malfunctioning elevator stop her, it could only slow her down. Did I also mention, she didn’t have a car? Nor did she drive. So a trek on foot to and from the store was followed by a long haul up and down the stairs until everything was safely ensconced in our little kitchen. Lack of car or elevator just forced her to choose another way to get things done. That other way often forces us to be more creative, to think outside to box or to construct another box altogether. Can’t find a job? Make one! Looking for your piece of the pie? Fuggedaboutit! Make your OWN pie. Throw all of those preconceived notions, those conventional barriers to success out the window.

Being creative can make you appear unusual to other folks. Peculiar, even. You’ll look downright crazy at times. What? You don’t want to work a regular job until you die? Something must be wrong with you! It goes against the norm. But I revel in being different. It’s so stifling to me to be otherwise. So when I hear that song it is actually empowering to me. It has become symbolic of my struggle. It says to me, it’s ok to be you. Be original. Be true to who you are. And whatever happens, don’t let life get you down. Persevere. Push through it, get back up – no matter how many times you have to do it or how many tries it takes. Don’t give up. GO CRAZY.

Be blessed,

Loria

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MASTERPIECE, a Self Love Anthem

jaz
Jazmine Sullivan performing Masterpiece at BET’s Black Girls Rock! 

Click here to listen only … sadly, I am unable to post the video, but let me assure you it is ah-mazing! I’m SO in love with this song – the lyrics reveal why:

My eyes ain’t used to these rays
I’m feeling exposed, but I hide no more
I can’t hide
As the sun shines on all of my glory
My flaws don’t look so bad at all
What was I so afraid of?

Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I’m a work of art
A masterpiece

Who is this I’ve tried so long fight?
Filling my heads with lies that I’m not good enough
Then I heard something in my ear
Tell I’m perfect, now that I know the truth
Time to show and prove

Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I’m a work of art
A masterpiece

And now I see the pretty colors on my canvas
I’m a work of art, a Mona Lisa
I’ll share my picture with the world
Not afraid to let it show anymore

I can light the night, shine so bright
(Let my colors paint the sky)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(There is beauty in my eyes)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(And I can see it now, I believe it now, I can feel it now)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(Want the world to see, I’m a work of art. I’m a masterpiece)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(I am beautiful)

Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I’m a work of art
A masterpiece

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No Ordinary Love

Sade
Sade, No Ordinary Love

“The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.” Hosea 1:2 KJV

One area in which God has been dealing with me lately is love. More specifically, as it has to do with forgiveness. Like many people, I struggle in this because I have been hurt, abused and taken advantage of by others. I am damaged. So I admit that in the past, I have loved warily, instead of freely. And I have held grudges so long, I thought I would take them with me to the grave. I could repeat the story of the offense because I had rehearsed it and nursed it. And, it was only causing further damage, not healing me.

See, I had fallen for the lie, the GREAT lie, that love is not supposed to hurt. That it should be as natural as breathing. That if it was from God it would be effortless. That if he was the one for you, your union would be blessed. That love would be easy. The greeting card industry would have us believe that love looks like hearts, bows and flowers. It smells like perfume and potpourri. It tastes like chocolate, wine and maybe even a nice dinner. They would also have us believe that love is random and involuntary – Cupid’s bow determines who you love. Therefore, you cannot choose who you love. We’ve been conditioned to believe that love is a feeling as illustrated by a few recent Facebook posts: “People no longer date – they have sex, then catch feelings.” (Sad, but true!) And, “I HATE MEN … never mind – he called.” (Funny, also true.) A friend confessed that he felt he loved a girl because they fought like cats and dogs. Those were intense feelings. But as one of my favorite characters said, “Don’t confuse quantity of emotion with quality of emotion.”

So we have many examples of what love is. But none of these are real, true love. Maybe I don’t have all the answers. Maybe I haven’t even experienced it … yet. But I know what it is not. Love is not emotion. Feelings are deceitful and fleeting, changing from one moment to the next. Love is not the result of something someone does or doesn’t do for us. It is not the result of an action. It is not pristine and sterile, sweet smelling or beautiful. In fact, I submit that true love is sometimes unsavory and ugly. It is not accidental or aimless, but directed and purposeful. Real love is imperfect because we are. It is delivered by damaged people to damaged people.

The prophet Hosea was commanded to take a wife with a shady past. He could not be sure that she would not return to her life of promiscuity. God had not even “saved” her or delivered her from that previous lifestyle. She wasn’t a cleaned up version of herself. Gomer was a woman known to sell her body for money. She married the man of God, but she did not change her ways. Then again, it appears that she was not expected to do so. That was never the point.

“Then the LORD said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the LORD still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.” Hosea 3:1 NIV

The prophet was ordered to redeem his wife and treat her as if he loved her, not as if she had betrayed him. God wouldn’t let his servant give up on her. Gomer was to be an example of God’s unfailing love. Real love is active. It doesn’t just lay there waiting for a feeling. True love forgives and gives us another chance. Love never fails. Never. We fail in doing all that love requires because we are human. We let our emotions and the situation get the best of us. Our “shouldn’ts” get in the way. I shouldn’t forgive them after all they did to me; they hurt me. And we remind ourselves constantly of that pain, holding it as a shield before us so that said person cannot get close enough to do us harm again. But love doesn’t remember hurts, nor rehearse them. We fall short in doing all that love requires because we are human. And it ain’t easy. I tell you, if we knew everything that real love entails, we wouldn’t say to people so carelessly, “I love you,” in the same way we declare our love for black walnut ice cream (my personal favorite) or Garrett’s cheesy/caramel mixed popcorn.

We even go so far as to not pray for the person who offended us. But that is not the example Jesus provided at the cross. Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. At that moment, Jesus was a victim of the ugliest side of humanity: mob action. Mocked and jeered, flayed and tortured, he interceded for his abusers. And by the way, it is a sin to not pray for others. Yep, per the Apostle Paul. Real love prays for those that spitefully use us, as Jesus instructed. Even as his accusers were putting him to death, he displayed love for his abusers. Crazy, right? (Talk about Stockholm Syndrome!) But real love is crazy. That’s agape or godly love. It is determined and persistent and prevailing despite the circumstances. It witnesses the ugly, unsavory, the seedy elements in us all and responds with hope. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not keep a record of wrongs. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures ALL things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Whew – that’s a tall order!

I heard an evangelist testify that during the early part of her marriage, her husband repeatedly beat her for “breakfast, lunch and dinner.” She stayed. Loving flawed, damaged people is not easy. And I’m not advocating that anyone stay under such circumstances. Neither did she. The evangelist often said during her testimony: “I’m not telling YOU what to do, I’m just telling you what I did.” I couldn’t have sat through that for my children’s sake, I know. But she did, along with her children. They also witnessed the transformation of that man from an abuser to one who loved his wife wholeheartedly. Had she left, she and her kids would have missed the miracle.

I admit, I do not have a handle on that kind of love. It’s scary to contemplate. In it, you have to surrender your right to feel wronged. Wow. The only people I know for sure that I love with that kind of devotion are my children. Oh yeah! Now I get it. We are His children. He loves us unconditionally. And we are to display that kind of love to others, no matter whether it is deserved or how hard it may be. May God help us all.

Be blessed,

Loria

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Elementary, My Dear!

elementary schoolhouse rock
Schoolhouse Rock – Elementary!

But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple area, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant. “Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, ‘From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise’?” Matthew 21:15-16

Last week, many churches celebrated Palm Sunday and Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem. The events leading up to his crucifixion led me to this scripture and caused me to ruminate. My mind flashed back to the Schoolhouse Rock segment, “Elementary, my dear!” which recounted the story of Noah and the Ark and used the collection of the animals to illustrate the principle of multiplying by two. It also brought to mind Robert Fulghum’s book, All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten, that featured a list of lessons learned on how to treat others and take care of yourself in this wide world. Both brought home to me something I had to have known since my childhood, but only became aware of at that moment. And I knew a peace from my present day catastrophe which seemingly loomed on my horizon. AGAIN. There’s always one there, you know. In her Saturday Night Live skit, Gilda Radner (ala Rosanna Rosannadana) used to say, “It just goes to show ya – if it ain’t one thing, it’s another!” So there’s ALWAYS another something, just waiting in the shadows, looking for the opportune moment to pounce. It tends to catch you when your guard is down; an unlooked for event and a scheme of the enemy to take your eyes off God and cast them toward your concerns regarding your future. It is true, the lion never sleeps.

But looking back, I realized everything I ever needed to know about God and how to survive these trying times came from my earliest remembrances of Him – in songs learned in Sunday school and verses memorized for church at Easter. “I don’t know why Jesus loves me,” taught me that He does love me and I don’t have to be worthy. (Thank God, because I could never earn His love. I’ve given up on perfection and have decided to be merely human.) And in “Jesus loves the little children,” I learned that He treasures “All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, we are precious in His sight!” That song showed me that I had a special place in His eyes, regardless to how society viewed me. But the one that brought true deliverance was found in the simple lyrics of “Yes, Jesus loves me!’

This song blessed me so much the other day. Coming off of my latest meltdown (see article, The Greatest) I realized that I had fallen for the greatest trick of the enemy – to believe in one’s own strength and power to deliver. You may ask how I could forget such a lesson, for control is only an illusion. All power belongs to God. He alone is in control of my life. I do some of my best work, lol, and He is able to accomplish much through me, when I am a yielded vessel. I become His arms and legs and mouth to do whatever and to go wherever and to bless others. But at times, sigh, I fall prey to this mentality, this thinking that I have to save my world yet again – likely because I’ve watched TOO MANY Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes (she saved the world, A LOT)! I began to feel that it was all up to me, that the burden of my own personal universe was on my shoulders. I’d somehow allowed the thought to bleed into my conscious that I’m doing this alone.

Meltdowns, in my experience, happen because you look at your own resources and realize you have fallen short of what is needed to accomplish your goals. You feel overwhelmed, like whatever you’re trying to do or get is not gonna happen EVER. You get discouraged and want to give up because, instead of looking at what God is able to accomplish (with/without you or your resources and whether or not you deserve it), you look at yourself and your puny mortal limitations. I was reminded recently that God is ABLE to do what He said he would do and to do the unthinkable. He can bless in ways that we cannot fathom.

So I want to leave you today with the words that encouraged me, brought me out of my funk and gave me hope:

Jesus loves me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones (that’s US, y’all!) to Him belong

THEY ARE WEAK BUT HE IS STRONG!

Yes, it is because He is strong that I can afford the luxury of being “weak.” Sometimes, I feel like I always have to appear hard and strong, like I can handle whatever obstacle comes my way because I come from a long line of women who were made of stern stuff! Whew! And that pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality seemed to serve me well in the past. But I am learning, or rather re-learning, as this lesson has been with me since my childhood, to lean on Him and to let God bear these heavy loads that weigh me down. With every burden I cast off I am returning to my former self and becoming more carefree, for I have given my cares to Him. I am feeling more like me. So much so, that today I visualized myself yelling at my latest obstacle (in my Gerard Butler/Leonidas of 300 voice), “I. AM. LORIAAAAA!” ROAR! That thought makes me smile because I am back. And I am becoming a better me, but not due to being indomitable or indestructible. It is because He has shown me, once again, the beauty of giving it all over to Him. I can rest easier knowing that He is, as my brother once put it, the One who holds all of my tomorrows.

Be blessed,

Loria