It occurred to me today … – Page 3

19 May, 201619 May, 2017

Chasing God

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

“I’m chasing after you, no matter what I have to do – ‘cause I need you more and more!” Chasing after you, Bishop Paul Morton

I remember hearing Claire Huxtable sing, “Seek ye first,” with the Hillman (aka Spelman) choir on the Cosby Show years ago. It was a beautiful rendition – oh, the harmonies! I just loved the song and the message. But to the young girl I was then, the idea of foregoing all the things I wanted to do and pursue was the waste of my opportunity to have a good time. Serving God could get in the way of that. Fun and adventure awaited me, I had my whole life ahead of me. Put God first? To me that meant church, church and more church, LOL! I thought, later for that! You mean I can’t live my life, do what I want to do, go where I want to go? I gotta be all holy? Really wasn’t trying to hear it.

But as the Bible says, when I was a child, I spake as a child. After having lived half a century on this here earth, I’ve learned a thing or two. One, that I put all of that energy into doing what I wanted to do first and it got me nowhere. I didn’t do it God’s way. Two, that chasing church is not the same as chasing God. You can attend church several days a week and give all your money in the offering plate, but it won’t get you closer to God. Only time spent with Him, in the Word, and trusting and relying on Him, building that relationship will do that.

Until recently, I was still unable to fully embrace the concept of going after God, not the things of this world, and trusting him to provide and grant me the desires of my heart in the process. God is spoon feeding the revelation to me, only as much as I can handle, before moving on to the next lesson He has for me. He’s building it line upon line, precept upon precept. After An Open Heaven revealed that we have access to God, ALWAYS, it occurred to me that there was a responsibility now on me. Not so much to do more, but to turn to Him more and rely on Him only. I had spent my life in the pursuit of things – money, health, job, love. I guess I kinda just thought He would find a way to fit in there organically, LOL! But that’s not how this works, as the lady in the commercial says. That’s not how any of this works!

When God revealed to me the gospel truth that I have access to Him, it revolutionized my way of thinking. Once I realized all that He is doing for me, I asked the question: What must I do? What is my response to His goodness? Notice that I’m not trying to invoke His blessing. I already have it. But I want to be up under Him, under His wings, basking in the glow of His love, sitting at His feet and learning. I find that the more time I spend with Him the more time I WANT to spend in His presence.

And God is going to do more, even greater than He already has in my life. It’s already begun. He’s doing it right now, just in changing the way I think and pray. He’s shifted my focus. I used to pray for Him to change my situation, now I look for Him to change me. I see that the more I grow, the more my situation changes. One day I considered this scripture: Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers. (3 John 1:2)

Now, I took that to mean that as I grew spiritually, I would also prosper financially and physically. I visualize a set of scales, with one side representing your soul and the other ALL of the things you feel you need and want. As you add to the side that truly matters, feeding your spirit man, the other side would balance out accordingly. And that makes sense. I’m seeking a harmony of both in my life. So, all of these years that I have been chasing these things, they would have come to me, had I chased HIM. I’ve been putting the cart before the horse. I’ve been doing it all wrong.

As a matter of fact, the verse preceding the well-known, seek ye first scripture admonishes us to NOT worry about all of that – what to wear, what to drink, or where to live. God knows that we need that. That’s basic. But if we go after Him, these things will come after us. So I’ve made up my mind to be done with the foolishness, this way that does not work, and pursue God only, trusting that he will bring the things that I not only need but also desire into my life.

Ah, but there’s something else at work here. An element of SURRENDER. If I give it all to you, Lord, I’m trusting you with the outcome. And faith, too – cuz you gotta believe that He can DO IT! Oh, so many good things are coming from drawing closer to you and they’re not only tangible. Grow me, Lord, like a flower. Increase me, Father, so I can do more of Your will. Decrease me, so that I can be filled with more of you. I don’t want anything right now more than I want you. More of you, Lord, is my prayer.

Be blessed,

Loria

5 May, 201627 May, 2021

Madonna

“M is for the million things she gave me …” MOTHER, T Morse & H Johnson

And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it. (John 2:1-5 KJV)

Thus began Jesus’ ministry of miracles, the very first being issued (prematurely) because of his mom. The things we do at our mothers’ insistence are innumerable. What lengths would we go to, what would we not do for them? Even Jesus bowed under the weight of that obligation, we see. He is the son of God, but also of man. Therefore, he was obedient to Mary in the same way we are commanded to honor our mothers and fathers. Okay, Mom. I made more wine, see? LOL!

Jesus, I believe, had a special bond with mothers. Show him a mom in distress and he was moved to action. Consider the story where Jesus came upon a funeral bier, that of a woman about to lay her son to rest. She must have been bereft, inconsolable. Her husband had died previously and now her only son, her only means of support, was gone also. What would she do? How could she provide for herself? Not to mention, she had lost her son, her light, her future and the very thing that made her a mother. She had lost her identity. So Jesus, seeing her in mourning, was moved to compassion. He raised her son from the dead and restored both of their lives. Her fortune and future were now more secure. She had her son back.

Nothing could move Jesus like a mother, I think. No other feeling on earth is so closely patterned after his love for us. He lamented the state of Jerusalem and said he often wanted to gather them under his wings as a hen gathers her chicks (Matthew 23:37). This is the very picture of motherly love and protection. His relationship with his mother was that of any man, I feel. He was so concerned with her well being after his time here on earth was over, that he gave her his beloved disciple, John, in his stead. Woman, behold thy son! (John 19:26) In other words, try not to miss me so much, Mom. John will be here to comfort you. But more importantly, just as in the case of the woman in the funeral procession, he gave her a live son. He left a comforter in his place. It is no wonder to me that Jesus so easily acquiesced to Mary’s request. It speaks to their relationship and how he felt about her.

With this upcoming Mother’s Day, I’m ruminating on some of the things that make me who I am, mother and daughter. I remember the things my MaDear has done for me. Her love has no limits. And because I am a mother, too, I now know how that feels. As her daughter, I know what it is to be moved to do something, even though objecting, but still doing it because she asked. Did I ever create a miracle for her? I suppose I must have because my own children have done so for me many times, unknowingly. I recall the first Mother’s Day my children honored me. They were so small but old enough to talk. My son and daughter were led to the front of the church, the microphone put before them and coaxed to say: Happy Mother’s Day! Tears streamed down my face in surprise. For some reason, it wasn’t real until that moment. I was overcome for some time after that. A man remarked to me later, “That was the first time you realized it was about you!” Exactly. I was a mother. I was the revered one. Wow. That still floors me.

I also remember the day my brother taught us to love and honor our mother. He took us to a store that was filled with glass things. My eyes were wide as he showed us the gift he’d picked out for MaDear. It was a glass punch bowl with little cups that hung over the sides. You know the one, LOL! But we’d never seen something so beautiful. It was worthy of our mother. We were excited as she opened it because it was from US. My brother had been gracious enough to include his siblings and I also think he felt it would be worth even more to our mom to think it was from her small ones, too. For me, giving our mother that gift was the very best feeling. In giving to her, we gave to ourselves that moment of knowing we had pleased her. She got many years out of that gift set. Each time she brought it out to entertain, I remembered where she’d gotten it from. And so it continues to this present day. We’re so glad to still have her here with us and we continue to honor her. This upcoming Mother’s Day she is blessed to have it fall on her 90th birthday. We are beyond thrilled to celebrate this momentous occasion, this great coming of age with her. So Happy Birthday MaDear and Happy Mother’s Day to all. May heaven celebrate with us.

Be blessed,

Loria

12 April, 201612 April, 2016

No Ordinary Love

“The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.” Hosea 1:2 KJV

One area in which God has been dealing with me lately is love. More specifically, as it has to do with forgiveness. Like many people, I struggle in this because I have been hurt, abused and taken advantage of by others. I am damaged. So I admit that in the past, I have loved warily, instead of freely. And I have held grudges so long, I thought I would take them with me to the grave. I could repeat the story of the offense because I had rehearsed it and nursed it. And, it was only causing further damage, not healing me.

See, I had fallen for the lie, the GREAT lie, that love is not supposed to hurt. That it should be as natural as breathing. That if it was from God it would be effortless. That if he was the one for you, your union would be blessed. That love would be easy. The greeting card industry would have us believe that love looks like hearts, bows and flowers. It smells like perfume and potpourri. It tastes like chocolate, wine and maybe even a nice dinner. They would also have us believe that love is random and involuntary – Cupid’s bow determines who you love. Therefore, you cannot choose who you love. We’ve been conditioned to believe that love is a feeling as illustrated by a few recent Facebook posts: “People no longer date – they have sex, then catch feelings.” (Sad, but true!) And, “I HATE MEN … never mind – he called.” (Funny, also true.) A friend confessed that he felt he loved a girl because they fought like cats and dogs. Those were intense feelings. But as one of my favorite characters said, “Don’t confuse quantity of emotion with quality of emotion.”

So we have many examples of what love is. But none of these are real, true love. Maybe I don’t have all the answers. Maybe I haven’t even experienced it … yet. But I know what it is not. Love is not emotion. Feelings are deceitful and fleeting, changing from one moment to the next. Love is not the result of something someone does or doesn’t do for us. It is not the result of an action. It is not pristine and sterile, sweet smelling or beautiful. In fact, I submit that true love is sometimes unsavory and ugly. It is not accidental or aimless, but directed and purposeful. Real love is imperfect because we are. It is delivered by damaged people to damaged people.

The prophet Hosea was commanded to take a wife with a shady past. He could not be sure that she would not return to her life of promiscuity. God had not even “saved” her or delivered her from that previous lifestyle. She wasn’t a cleaned up version of herself. Gomer was a woman known to sell her body for money. She married the man of God, but she did not change her ways. Then again, it appears that she was not expected to do so. That was never the point.

“Then the LORD said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the LORD still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.” Hosea 3:1 NIV

The prophet was ordered to redeem his wife and treat her as if he loved her, not as if she had betrayed him. God wouldn’t let his servant give up on her. Gomer was to be an example of God’s unfailing love. Real love is active. It doesn’t just lay there waiting for a feeling. True love forgives and gives us another chance. Love never fails. Never. We fail in doing all that love requires because we are human. We let our emotions and the situation get the best of us. Our “shouldn’ts” get in the way. I shouldn’t forgive them after all they did to me; they hurt me. And we remind ourselves constantly of that pain, holding it as a shield before us so that said person cannot get close enough to do us harm again. But love doesn’t remember hurts, nor rehearse them. We fall short in doing all that love requires because we are human. And it ain’t easy. I tell you, if we knew everything that real love entails, we wouldn’t say to people so carelessly, “I love you,” in the same way we declare our love for black walnut ice cream (my personal favorite) or Garrett’s cheesy/caramel mixed popcorn.

We even go so far as to not pray for the person who offended us. But that is not the example Jesus provided at the cross. Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. At that moment, Jesus was a victim of the ugliest side of humanity: mob action. Mocked and jeered, flayed and tortured, he interceded for his abusers. And by the way, it is a sin to not pray for others. Yep, per the Apostle Paul. Real love prays for those that spitefully use us, as Jesus instructed. Even as his accusers were putting him to death, he displayed love for his abusers. Crazy, right? (Talk about Stockholm Syndrome!) But real love is crazy. That’s agape or godly love. It is determined and persistent and prevailing despite the circumstances. It witnesses the ugly, unsavory, the seedy elements in us all and responds with hope. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not keep a record of wrongs. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures ALL things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Whew – that’s a tall order!

I heard an evangelist testify that during the early part of her marriage, her husband repeatedly beat her for “breakfast, lunch and dinner.” She stayed. Loving flawed, damaged people is not easy. And I’m not advocating that anyone stay under such circumstances. Neither did she. The evangelist often said during her testimony: “I’m not telling YOU what to do, I’m just telling you what I did.” I couldn’t have sat through that for my children’s sake, I know. But she did, along with her children. They also witnessed the transformation of that man from an abuser to one who loved his wife wholeheartedly. Had she left, she and her kids would have missed the miracle.

I admit, I do not have a handle on that kind of love. It’s scary to contemplate. In it, you have to surrender your right to feel wronged. Wow. The only people I know for sure that I love with that kind of devotion are my children. Oh yeah! Now I get it. We are His children. He loves us unconditionally. And we are to display that kind of love to others, no matter whether it is deserved or how hard it may be. May God help us all.

Be blessed,

Loria

25 March, 201613 May, 2016

Love On Top!

This is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

Baby it's you! You're the one I love. 
You're the one I need. You're the only one I see. 
Come on baby it's you! 
You're the one that gives your all. 
You're the one I can always call. 
When I need you make everything stop. 
Finally, you put my love on top.

They say troubles come in multiples. For me, three is the magic number. That’s when I call it. See, the first incident could be merely coincidence. The second occurrence may be just plain bad luck, By the third event, I know that I am the recipient of a full-fledged, out and out attack that is supernatural. It’s usually at that point the devil is identified and he runs screaming like the little punk he is. (Yes, he is – we don’t owe him any reverence.) Picture him as the wicked witch of the Wizard of Oz after having a bucket of water thrown on her by Dorothy. “You’ve destroyed all of my beautiful wickedness,” the witch cries as she melts into nothing. It’s a comical scene when you think about it, but in reality, it’s not amusing. He doesn’t like to be called out. He wants us to think it is people who hate us, events are conspiring against us, or even that God doesn’t want us to be happy. That they are the enemy when all the time it is he, the evil one, who is at work. He is the spiritual wickedness that influences those who sit in high places.

The Bible promises us that the troubles we encounter are only those common to man. In other words, they happen to everyone at some time or another. We shouldn’t think it strange or unusual that it would eventually come for us in some shape, form or fashion. We may feel our troubles are unique. However, heartbreak is not. It is our common denominator, no matter our station in life. But with every trial, there is a way of escape given to us; the means to not necessarily undo what has happened but to transcend your circumstances, to rise above that situation. It is then that we can see that there may be a higher purpose for our trouble, a lesson to be learned. His ultimate goal is even sometimes revealed during our tribulation. So the way out is to change our focus, to see the One who is in control and to trust His plan.

So I’ve had my three recently – troubles that is – and I recognized the devil behind the curtain, manipulating events to discourage me. Then one day as I was driving Love on Top played on my car radio. That song had me grinning, singing along and bouncing in my seat. (It’s so much fun to sing along – not to mention the dance moves in the video were borrowed from New Edition’s If It Isn’t Love, another fave.) It has become my personal anthem, a love song from me to God. I riffed along with Beyoncé: “Baby it’s YOU!” I realized that in the midst of whatever is troubling me, my constant is God. My love for Him, supersedes everything because it helps me to endure and overcome anything. One of the most wretched feelings in the world is to feel like the object of your desire doesn’t return the sentiment. But I am sure of His steadfast love for me. Nothing can separate us. No-thing. I hear myself saying to Him as Bella said of Edward (of Twilight fame) – It’s Edward! It’s always been Edward! Poor Jacob never had a chance (LOL) because she had met THE love of her life. And so it is with me, no other god – be it money, worry (or worries about money), jealousies, envy, pride, job (or the loss thereof) – no other god can stand before my God. As was said of The Highlander: There can be only one! (I know that’s two movie references but I couldn’t resist! BTW – did you catch the shout out to Schoolhouse Rock?)

Which brings me to Good Friday, the day leading up to Resurrection Sunday – the holy day formerly known as Easter (nod to Prince). We honor the sacrifice of the one who loved us enough to die in our place so that we could have a chance at restoration. The One who put our love on top and made our salvation a priority. He is the only one who could have done it. I’ve heard folks mention other deities that have similar lore of a virgin birth and a god who died. But Jesus is the One who, as my sister loves to say, “loved us so much, he put his life on it!” He didn’t just die, he did it with purpose, executing a plan to save us which was set in motion from the foundation of the world. He put us first. God’s thoughts are always towards us, his creation. I know this. I see it in nature and how he carefully cultivated our living environment, anticipating our every need before he even created man, his crowning achievement, to oversee the world. We remain, to this day the apple (or center) of His eye.

I’m sure of some things in life. Troubles come and go. Everybody gets a turn. “But I know! (in ma Beyoncé voice)!” Jesus is the One I love. He’s the only One I know I need for certain. I see Him in everything, even a secular song, and gladly receive the confirmation of our love. I know He is working it out for my good. He gives me more than I asked for, more than I could ever imagine or conceive. I call on Him during times of distress, habitually. And He has answered my prayers repeatedly. It’s no wonder I can say with such joy, “Jesus it’s YOU!”

Be blessed,

Loria

5 June, 2015

What you really, REALLY want …

" ...plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11 
(The Message)
Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. Psalm 145:16 KJV

So, I’m an admissions advisor – again. In my role, I get to hear some pretty interesting stories, some humorous, some devastating, but all are inspiring. I love my job because I get to change lives and help folks who would not otherwise further their education, do so. It gives them hope. And they give me hope. I dig deep to find out what they really want out of life so I can help them on their path. They say what they want their future to be. There’s something so powerful in saying and writing down what you want. I learned that from a friend a long time ago. But the Bible speaks of it, too: We can cause things to happen when we speak (Mark 11:24).

Last night it occurred to me that I haven’t done much, – lately, it seems – to give voice to my dreams. I used to be a big advocate of writing it down. I can look back in my journals and see that the things I’ve prayed about and written down have come to pass. And I thought of my favorite scripture, the one that kept me going when things in my life looked so very bleak. “For I know the plans I have concerning you ….” Jeremiah 29:11 gave me something to look forward to, a reason to get up in the morning. I was comforted knowing that even as I sat in the midst of my mess, God had a plan. Even as I write this, I get teary eyed. That scripture is not just a cliché for me. It’s alive, as God’s word should be. I know, to paraphrase President Obama, because I’ve lived it. I’ve seen Him bring this scripture to life, breathe into and embody His Word so that it fleshed out and became real.

Continuing in that vein, I began to wonder and ask myself: What do you really want? Is it to love a certain person? Or work a certain job? At the end of your journey, what will you have others speak about you? That you lived a good, full life and followed your dreams? And what of your children – will they be able to say that you never gave up, unequivocally, and that you didn’t stop until you literally dropped? What’s really important? What will you have your ending be?

Oh! And then I began to dream. I visualized and wrote it down. Write THAT vision, Loria! Don’t let it escape. This is a revelation that is life changing because instead of counseling others on their life’s path, I now get to turn it around and use the same techniques on me. And here’s another thing – I don’t think God can give you what you want until you know what you want. The Bible says of such people (who are double-minded) that they are unstable in all their ways, let them not think they shall receive anything from the Lord. So you have to be focused, and aimed at a target, like an arrow. Writing and speaking your dreams does that.

A childhood friend from the old neighborhood recently visited my sister and me. When told of my book, she said to me, “You always said you would write a book!” The funny thing is, I don’t remember my dream going back that far but obviously, I began speaking that thing into existence a long time ago. And then I wrote it down. And here I am today, a blogger and a writer. I’m actually working on my sophomore novel in the Touched series. All I can say is – it will be EPIC! I love how it’s turning out and I’m working on a great ending. But meanwhile, today, God has turned my attention inward and caused me to reflect on what my life’s end will be. I want that to be good, too! So I’d better get to writing …

Be blessed,

Loria

8 May, 20159 May, 2015

Swing Out Sister!

"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, 
which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty." Rev. 1:8

It was my first day driving to my new job. I sat in my car, waiting at a red light, when a semi truck turned the corner in front of me. He had to swing the truck way out of his lane, curving to the right, in order to fit into the next lane, on the far left, in the direction he wanted to travel. My brain connected the dots like a flash of déjà vu. Same thing happened to me yesterday, I realized. I went downtown and drove into an underground parking garage. As I entered, the attendant took note of the size of my vehicle (a tiny white Ford Focus) and directed me to a spot nearby.

“Swing out,” he called after me, “to get in there.”

Sure enough, it was a tiny spot, nestled up against a wall, in a corner, adjacent to a black SUV. I swung my car out obediently and slid right into the spot with no problem. When I saw the truck do the same, albeit in a much more exaggerated manner, I saw the parallel. The truck swung so far out that it appeared as if the driver meant to continue straight ahead, but suddenly, it veered to the left and settled in the turning lane. At that point, you could see that was the driver’s intention all along. Now I know that is the process for turning such a large vehicle, so it should have come as no surprise. But it occurred to me then that God has done the same with my life. I had swung out, thinking I was far off course, when actually I was being aligned so that I could fit right into a spot intended just for me.

See, this job, although surrounded by a series of coincidences, is really no coincidence. Years ago, after I was laid off, I was interviewed for this very same position. I wasn’t really interested, at the time, in making that drive. I couldn’t, in all honesty, say that I wanted the position because I felt I could get something closer to home. I knew I’d have to sacrifice my salary but I considered it worth giving up at the time. It was a comfort zone thing. For the last ten years or more, I’d managed to stay close to home and make pretty decent money. I was still raising my kids and felt I needed to be near them, I reasoned. I didn’t want to go far because my mom needed me, too. So God blessed me to be able to work nearby so that I could watch over my family. But it was only for a season.

Well, fast forward to present day and I realized that my reasons for not wanting to make that drive no longer existed. My kids are grown and building their own lives. My mom is in the care of my sister. During the interim, I had drifted far from the career I used to have, going more and more into pure sales (at which, I suck – just let me state that for the record). It’s a seedy business, at times. I have neither talent, nor stomach, for it and only admiration for those who undertake, excel at it and can manage to make a living from it. Meanwhile, I also found myself doing that which I said I would not do – expanding my job search and driving further and further from home. I finally took stock of my situation and wondered how and why I had gotten so far off course. Maybe I’d missed something, some turn, somewhere. Some sign that I should have gone in a different direction. Or maybe my course still lay ahead of me. I was truly confused and didn’t know how to find myself or the way back.

Then, I got a call and email about a position pretty far from home, with the pay I was looking for, but the schedule was far from appealing. It was the sister company of aforementioned job, in a field that I was familiar with and which I actually liked, so I felt like I could do well. But, I had to admit, I didn’t like the location, the hours or the days I would have to work. I would have taken the job purely because of the money but my heart wasn’t in it, LOL! Apparently, God knew that because they didn’t even offer me the job. I was double-minded, so it was no wonder that I didn’t get it. No big loss there. As my sister always says, “We’re not gonna mourn what you didn’t want any way!”

What has happened along the way to my current position, has transformed me. And I don’t just mean on that first day. From the time of my lay off until now, I’ve learned that the driving was not that big a deal and I could handle it. I had such a mental block in my head about it. But I see now that it was really fear of the unknown. I was comfortable doing what I was doing and being close to home. So God made me uncomfortable and shook me up so much that I wanted to change. He let me become so dissatisfied with the local offerings, which were becoming less and less convenient, until I saw that I had to move on. I needed to get out of my comfort zone. In a way, I knew that, but I assumed it mean changing careers. That is, until a few weeks ago when I was contacted once again.

“And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.” Luke 5:5

Wonder of wonders, it was the very same position, at the very same location, for which I interviewed years back. But I was not the same person that turned my nose up at the opportunity so many years back. Time and perspective had changed my much vaunted pride. Experience had been a hard teacher and I had gained insight into what I wanted (as well as, what I did not). By this time, my resistance had been worn down about the drive and I no longer found it daunting. I had come full circle. It’s so funny because I made that drive to the interview, knowing that I had it. I was sure. I knew it down to the soles of my shoes. It felt like the circle was complete. Like I was coming back to what I had fought against, only to find out it was actually where God wanted me to be and how He had determined to bless me. Let me insert here that I’ve learned a lot also about NOT telling God how to bless me and to trust Him to know what is best for me! I’m no longer as proud as I once was – life events and God have humbled me.

Of course, I had a great interview. It was my job. Of course, they made an offer. It was MY job. And of course, the position is a good fit for me – like I was made for it and it for me. It was MY JOB! I knew all of these things of a certainty. I saw God in it. As I should have seen him from the beginning, now that I think about it. How was it that I missed God in that initial interview? My mind was in a different place, I have come to realize. It has now been transformed and renewed my thinking in the process. Now I see Him, working the whole time to get me where He wanted me to be all along, so that He could bless me. Amazing. It was me who’d swung so far out, so far off course that I threatened to change my very direction, were it possible. Me, all along. I kept thinking it was Him! But because He is the Driver and ultimately in control, he wrested this rig from my grasp and steered my wayward vessel until it yielded to his command and brought me unto this place. I shall consider it an oasis, of a sort. For a season, at least! 😉

Be blessed,

Loria

22 April, 201530 April, 2015

Desperate Me

Ali Larter's character is desperate to take the-oh-so-fine Idris Elba (Derek) from his on-screen wife Beyonce in the movie, Obsessed — Ali Larter’s character is desperate to take the-oh-so-fine Idris Elba (Derek) from his on-screen wife Beyonce in the movie, Obsessed

“There’s a God who walks over the earth

Searching for a heart that is desperate

Longing for a child who will give him their all

Give it all; He wants it all.”

Forever Jones

When I first heard this song, I didn’t yet fully appreciate it. I mean, the melody is beautiful, the Jones family is talented and the words painted a picture of a God who longed to be in relationship with his children. But the line that really tugged at me and reeled me in, revealed a God who was searching for one who would yield and surrender completely to him; a desperate heart. The more I thought about it, the more I fell in love with this song.

I saw, in my mind, a montage of biblical characters who had reached the point of desperation. Hannah, mother of the prophet Samuel, was barren when the high priest Eli found her praying to God to relieve her condition. A wife who could not bear children to her husband was seen as defective, even cursed. To top it off, she was in competition with the other wife who had no problem bearing children to their husband. Although Hannah was the favorite wife, it just wasn’t enough. She longed to have a child of her own. Her husband tried to console her, “Aren’t I more to you than ten sons?” It was at this point in the story that we find her, praying so desperately for a child that Eli thought she was drunk. Eli offered comfort in his benediction, “May God grant your request.” A year later, Hannah held the baby Samuel in her arms whom she dedicated in service to the Lord after he had been weaned.

The Syro-Phoenician woman came to Jesus at the end of her rope and threw herself at his feet. With nowhere to turn except to Jesus, she was desperate enough to believe he could heal her demon-possessed daughter. Jesus countered her with this statement, “It’s not good to give the meat that’s meant for the children to the dogs.” What Jesus had for his people was precious and not to be given away lightly, especially to one who might not even believe or have the proper appreciation for who the Messiah was and what he could do. The woman immediately submitted her pride, her will, her everything for the sake of her daughter. “Even the dogs get the crumbs,” she responded. In other words, “Consider me unworthy, if you will.” She let him know she would not be offended, deterred or turned away so easily. She was determined to get the help her daughter needed.

These women had this in common; they had run out of resources, run out of answers, run out of solutions and thus, were out of options. There was no, “Well, if that doesn’t work, we’ll do this.” So they turned to God, the only help to whom they could appeal. Desperate times call for like measures and these women were just desperate enough to give it all to God and trust him with the outcome. They surrendered all to him because they had nowhere else to turn.

Then there’s the story of Naaman, a leper and commander of an enemy army. His servant, an Israelite maiden, referred him to the prophet Elisha to be healed of his disease. Naaman had nothing to lose and everything to gain, so he traveled to see the man of God. But Elisha didn’t even go to meet Naaman. Instead, he sent his servant with a message: Go dip in the River Jordan seven times. Naaman felt slighted that Elisha wouldn’t even see him in person. And dip in that river? Surely, there were rivers in his own country that were cleaner, if simple water was the remedy! Disgusted and puzzled, he was about to leave when his servant said, “If he had given you something big to do, you would have done it. Surely this is a small thing.” Naaman heeded that advice and went down in the water. On the seventh time, he came up with skin soft and smooth like a baby. But it was never about the water, it was about the surrender.

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.” Isaiah 42:3

Which took me back to the day my sister went in the hospital. Then, my mother went in the hospital the very next day. She had fallen. And I couldn’t even tell my sister because I didn’t want to upset her. Immediately I began to worry – could things get much worse? I worried about them both and prayed for their recovery. Sadly, I also worried about how their conditions would affect me. I had to leave work to see about my mom. I worried about the security of my job and what it would mean if I had to take a prolonged absence to care for her. I worried about my sister’s condition and what if she was not able to care for my mom any more. What would I do if? How could I pay my bills and take care of my family with no job? Could this have come at a worse time? Admittedly, there is no good time for such things. Really.

As I drove to my sister’s home to escort the ambulance that carried my mom to the hospital, I felt the weight of it all, everything crashing at once. On my head. My responsibility. I began to feel overwhelmed. But I realized that a song was playing in my head, like background music. The radio wasn’t on. God was speaking to me through song. It was a song about surrender:

Love me; love me with your whole heart

Serve me; serve me with your life now

Bow down, let go of your idols

He wants it all today, He wants it all …

I realized God was sending me a message. Give it to Him! Trust him to make it alright. Surrender my right to worry about it, cry about it. Was my situation desperate enough? For me, it was. I needed relief. I needed to believe everything would be ok. I needed to know that whatever the outcome, God would work it out. The song washed over me, soothing me, calming my spirit and I surrendered. I regained my peace. I prayed and gave it to God.

Looking back, I now realize that worry can be an idol. Anything that can cause you to revere it over God is an idol. Let go of worry (insert your idol here), the song urged me. Bow down to God, not under the crushing weight of your fears. Perfect love, the kind that only God can offer, has the power to cast out fear. Love Him and let go of it all.

The good news came. My mom’s x-rays came back fine – nothing was broken. My sister was released from the hospital, too. All was well, again. I guess the lesson I learned was that when we come to him at the end of our rope, when we’re down to nothing and ready to try anything, give anything, and do anything – He won’t turn us away. We humble ourselves before him and admit that we need him and can’t do this alone; we give up all semblance of pride and come to him completely broken, desperate and offering only ourselves, leaving us open and bare before him. We let Him in. That’s scary. We say we want intimacy but in reality, we shy away from it. Maybe because we’re afraid if we let someone in and they see how crazy we truly are, they’ll make a run for it. But God can deal with our crazy.

So now that we have the answer, we have the key, this thing that may move God to work on our behalf, the question becomes, “How desperate are you?” You want or need something from God and the tradeoff may be real intimacy with him. Do you want it? Do you really want it? Get desperate.

Be blessed,

Loria

P.S. I don’t blame Ali Larter …

15 April, 201521 February, 2017

Glory!

Oprah Winfrey fighting for her voting rights in the movie, Selma — Oprah Winfrey portrays Annie Lee Cooper, fighting for her voting rights in the movie, Selma

“Now the war is not over, victory isn’t won And we’ll fight on to the finish, then when it’s all done We’ll cry glory, oh glory!” John Legend, Glory – Selma soundtrack.

Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” Ruth 1:20-21

I think we all can testify to such times where we felt life has given us just TOO MUCH to bear. I mean, IF ONE MORE THING HAPPENS, I’M GONNA LOSE IT, kind of thinking. An I can’t take much more of this mindset. A “Lord, please take this cup away from me,” mentality. And then it happens, that last straw comes along that breaks us and we want to give up. Who wouldn’t entertain the idea, given the obstacles? Ah! But to want to give up versus actually do it? No. We cannot. To give up is to die, mentally and physically. May God grant us the means to persevere through each and every one of our calamities. Pray against such troubles, yes. But also pray for endurance to weather the storm because trying times will surely come. So we cannot give in to our circumstance.

We pick up Naomi’s story at a point where she was about to give up because she felt she’d been dealt a harsh blow by God. It was a humiliating end to what began with such promise. Due to the famine in Israel, her entire family had relocated to Moab to improve their situation. Hopes were high. Her boys married local girls – good women and good wives to their husbands, who developed a loving relationship with their mother-in-law. For a time, things must have looked really good. Then tragedy struck. First, Naomi’s husband died. Then, both of her sons. Without a man to provide for her, Naomi would be reduced to begging or worse. She looked at her situation and named herself, in response to her disaster, Mara or bitter. She felt justified so she complained and wallowed in misery. Life had beaten her down.

But Job posed this question during his affliction, “Will we only take good from His hand?” Up till the time of his trial, Job had lived a blessed life. God had given him everything a person could want: wife, family, prosperity. Yet when disaster struck, Job acknowledged that since all he had ever received came from God, it was God’s to take away. He came into this world naked and couldn’t take any of this with him anyway, Job said. In other words, I’m not going to bless God ONLY when He blesses me! I’m going to look for God in the midst of my test because He is surely in it, orchestrating a way out even as I sit in my wretched despair. I will wait for my change to come, because God is faithful, this I know. God will deliver us from destruction and the plots of the evil one. I will trust him even in, especially in, times of adversity.

It’s hard; it’s REALLY hard sometimes to look up when you have been handed a bad hand. I am reminded also of Abraham, whose name was changed to reflect the promise of who he would become: Father of many nations. He led a blessed life, too, yet along the way he suffered setbacks and events that would try his faith. His new name would have become a beacon lighting the way, and a constant reminder that his present situation was not his destination. Whatever happened, no matter what it looked like, his seed would be as numerous as the stars. Meanwhile, his wife, Sarah, was taken away and married off TWICE (still shaking my head at that one) to men more powerful than Abraham. He lied and said Sarah was his sister, to preserve his life. He had a son, outside of his marriage, but at his wife’s insistence. Then, he had to put away this son because Sarah couldn’t handle the competition with her own son. That’s just a few of his trials, yet at the end of his life he could say that God had been faithful. Abraham’s wife was restored to him both times, with interest, LOL! And of the son he had to put out, God also made a great nation. Abraham’s account, at his journey’s end, was better instead of bitter.

And so is the account of Naomi. Thankfully, the new name she took on did not determine her future. Her daughter-in-love, as one of my friends frequently calls her son’s wife, had such a heart for Naomi that she could not abandon her to face her circumstance alone. Ruth couldn’t find it in her to go back, take a new husband, and live in comfort and ease while Naomi faced a life of certain poverty, alone in Israel. Ruth stood by Naomi and refused to leave her side, linking her own success and failure to her adopted mother. When Ruth married Boaz, a wealthy relative of Naomi’s deceased husband, their way became prosperous once more. Ruth bore her new spouse a son, making Naomi a grandmother. In the end, despite the detours along the way, Naomi wound up living up to her original name. When God restored her good fortune, she found that life could be pleasant, indeed.

Today, I look for God – no, I already see Him – in my present struggles. Things may sometimes seem dire, but I see you Lord. You designed me, and all of us, to be made better (not bitter) with each passing trial. And they DO pass! I know that you have a good, happy ending for my life, too, according to Jeremiah 29:11. I claim your promise: my latter shall be greater. I’m made of and for better things. A cake is made better by the beating, as are scrambled eggs by the whipping. And so are we. We can become better because of our trials. Though my mother meant to name me after her favorite cousin, Gloria, somehow it became Loria, instead. But I count this as a happy mistake and I claim my name according to my future. It’s a derivative of Laurel (as in the victory wreath) and Gloria (as in give HIM the glory). And I WILL live up to my name. Yes, I will. I know what tragedy looks like, Lord. Now show me Your Glory.

Be blessed,

Loria

7 April, 20159 April, 2015

No Mo’ DRAMA!

“Above all, taking the shield of faith, with which you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.” Ephesians 6:16

I didn’t bother posting on Resurrection Sunday because I felt there was nothing I could say to top that feat, truly! He’s alive! He rose from the grave! He conquered death by His sacrifice! It’s all been said before. But God is revealing more and more to me about what happened AFTER the resurrection and what it means for us in this present age. We know that Jesus died for us, to save us from our sins and to pay the price so that we could be restored to our original state. He redeemed us by His own blood, to be in communion and fellowship with God as the first man and woman were in the beginning. He is the second Adam – because he lives, we can live again. But there is more. His life and death, burial and resurrection accomplished something for us in this physical realm that prevails to this day.

Ah, travails. In this life we will have them – many times. Troubles come and go for all of us and no matter your station in life, you are sure to have them. I am currently in the midst of a trial but instead of continually being oppressed by my circumstances, I now cling to hope. My hope comes from, among other things, a song that our choir sang on Easter Sunday, The Credo.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth

And in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord

Who was conceived, who was conceived by the Holy Ghost

Born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate

Crucified, died and was buried; He descended into Hell

This first part is delivered softly, beautifully in operatic voices. Then, the song picks up and gets punchy. It has a gospel rock/disco vibe going, reminiscent of Whoopi Goldberg and the nuns singing Ball of Confusion in Sister Act 2:

On the third day, He arose. On the third day, He Arose. On the third day HE AROSE!

Each stanza crescendos, increasing in drama as it modulates up to the next key. All the time the piano is pounding away and it’s such a fun song that you can’t help but enjoy it. You’re swaying and clapping your hands as you’re caught up in the rhythm. Now, here’s the part that God used to minister to me in my current circumstance. I awakened in the middle of the night, as I do sometimes, tossing and turning and trying to find a way to get comfortable so I could go back to sleep. It’s during these pockets of wakefulness that the devil insinuates his agenda into my fuzzy consciousness and says things that bring me to full alertness. He reminds me that I have concerns, worries and fears. He buzzes in my ears with things that I didn’t or couldn’t address during my waking hours. He makes me feel like I shouldn’t be sleep – I have plenty of things that should keep me awake! And before you know it, my sleep is completely disrupted. Only last night, when he attempted this trick, a line from The Credo drowned him out:

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe

I believe in God and the Holy Ghost

I believe, I believe in God!

And I thought to myself, and suddenly it seemed quite reasonable – HOW DARE YOU NOT BELIEVE that God wouldn’t deliver you from your personal hell? He raised Jesus – if He raised Him, raising you should be a cinch! How dare you believe in Jesus’ birth through the Virgin Mary and not believe that God can supernaturally deliver you from your problems? WHAT? Does that even make sense? These are the cornerstones of our faith. How dare you believe that Jesus endured his affliction and drank from His cup, but YOU cannot? The same God that imbued His earthly incarnation with power to endure hardship has also empowered you, in this fleshly body, to do the same. Because He did, you can. That has become my motto and my credo. With these thoughts in mind, I went back to sleep.

Someone said once, regarding the devil, that he is God’s devil. Meaning, God created him, as He did all of us, to serve a purpose. He can only do what God allows, as we find in the example of Job. The question becomes then, why? Why allow this evil being to torture your creation? My own answer comes from my life. The evil one is never satisfied with a take down, but wants complete annihilation. He will repeatedly kick you while you’re down. And that is always his fatal flaw. He’s just greedy. See, he overplays his hand. In going in for the kill, he pushes me so far that instead of retreating and fleeing in fear, I actually stand my ground and call his bluff. I drop to my knees and call on God for HE alone can save me. All drama ceases to be important and no longer appears threatening to my future. I know that I will survive. Attacks from the devil cause me to turn to God, to seek Him, to run into His arms for shelter and to get closer to Him. That makes the trouble I go through almost worth it as it causes a deepening of my relationship with and a dependence on God my Father. For me, it always comes down to this. All roads lead back to Him.

Be blessed,

Loria

2 April, 20152 April, 2015

Elementary, My Dear!

elementary schoolhouse rock — Schoolhouse Rock – Elementary!

But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple area, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant. “Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, ‘From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise’?” Matthew 21:15-16

Last week, many churches celebrated Palm Sunday and Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem. The events leading up to his crucifixion led me to this scripture and caused me to ruminate. My mind flashed back to the Schoolhouse Rock segment, “Elementary, my dear!” which recounted the story of Noah and the Ark and used the collection of the animals to illustrate the principle of multiplying by two. It also brought to mind Robert Fulghum’s book, All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten, that featured a list of lessons learned on how to treat others and take care of yourself in this wide world. Both brought home to me something I had to have known since my childhood, but only became aware of at that moment. And I knew a peace from my present day catastrophe which seemingly loomed on my horizon. AGAIN. There’s always one there, you know. In her Saturday Night Live skit, Gilda Radner (ala Rosanna Rosannadana) used to say, “It just goes to show ya – if it ain’t one thing, it’s another!” So there’s ALWAYS another something, just waiting in the shadows, looking for the opportune moment to pounce. It tends to catch you when your guard is down; an unlooked for event and a scheme of the enemy to take your eyes off God and cast them toward your concerns regarding your future. It is true, the lion never sleeps.

But looking back, I realized everything I ever needed to know about God and how to survive these trying times came from my earliest remembrances of Him – in songs learned in Sunday school and verses memorized for church at Easter. “I don’t know why Jesus loves me,” taught me that He does love me and I don’t have to be worthy. (Thank God, because I could never earn His love. I’ve given up on perfection and have decided to be merely human.) And in “Jesus loves the little children,” I learned that He treasures “All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, we are precious in His sight!” That song showed me that I had a special place in His eyes, regardless to how society viewed me. But the one that brought true deliverance was found in the simple lyrics of “Yes, Jesus loves me!’

This song blessed me so much the other day. Coming off of my latest meltdown (see article, The Greatest) I realized that I had fallen for the greatest trick of the enemy – to believe in one’s own strength and power to deliver. You may ask how I could forget such a lesson, for control is only an illusion. All power belongs to God. He alone is in control of my life. I do some of my best work, lol, and He is able to accomplish much through me, when I am a yielded vessel. I become His arms and legs and mouth to do whatever and to go wherever and to bless others. But at times, sigh, I fall prey to this mentality, this thinking that I have to save my world yet again – likely because I’ve watched TOO MANY Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes (she saved the world, A LOT)! I began to feel that it was all up to me, that the burden of my own personal universe was on my shoulders. I’d somehow allowed the thought to bleed into my conscious that I’m doing this alone.

Meltdowns, in my experience, happen because you look at your own resources and realize you have fallen short of what is needed to accomplish your goals. You feel overwhelmed, like whatever you’re trying to do or get is not gonna happen EVER. You get discouraged and want to give up because, instead of looking at what God is able to accomplish (with/without you or your resources and whether or not you deserve it), you look at yourself and your puny mortal limitations. I was reminded recently that God is ABLE to do what He said he would do and to do the unthinkable. He can bless in ways that we cannot fathom.

So I want to leave you today with the words that encouraged me, brought me out of my funk and gave me hope:

Jesus loves me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones (that’s US, y’all!) to Him belong

THEY ARE WEAK BUT HE IS STRONG!

Yes, it is because He is strong that I can afford the luxury of being “weak.” Sometimes, I feel like I always have to appear hard and strong, like I can handle whatever obstacle comes my way because I come from a long line of women who were made of stern stuff! Whew! And that pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality seemed to serve me well in the past. But I am learning, or rather re-learning, as this lesson has been with me since my childhood, to lean on Him and to let God bear these heavy loads that weigh me down. With every burden I cast off I am returning to my former self and becoming more carefree, for I have given my cares to Him. I am feeling more like me. So much so, that today I visualized myself yelling at my latest obstacle (in my Gerard Butler/Leonidas of 300 voice), “I. AM. LORIAAAAA!” ROAR! That thought makes me smile because I am back. And I am becoming a better me, but not due to being indomitable or indestructible. It is because He has shown me, once again, the beauty of giving it all over to Him. I can rest easier knowing that He is, as my brother once put it, the One who holds all of my tomorrows.

Be blessed,

Loria