Category: It occurred to me today …

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Esau, the Hero?

img_20161110_095240I love Old Testament stories from the Bible. I know many of them like I know my own hand. I see myself in them at times. I think that’s a sign of maturity. Before, all I could do was look at them and think, “Wow! They did what?” And, “How could they not believe God if he said he would do it?” Oh, it’s easy to rail and condemn … until you’ve lived through similar circumstances. Some of my best loved and most encouraging tales are of those “rejected by man but later revealed to be handpicked by God.” (George Johnson)

I give you the example of Esau and Jacob, fraternal twins. Esau grew up beloved of their father, Isaac. Jacob was Rebekah’s favorite. Esau was wild and hairy, an outdoors-man and likely every thing a man could want in a son. He was the epitome of macho. But his younger brother stayed at home. Jacob grew up near his mother, attached to her apron strings, likely tending livestock as he would later do for his Uncle Laban. Jacob was not a hunter and rugged like Esau. But he was cunning. Jacob and his mother plotted to trick Esau out of his blessing (he’d already foolishly given away his birthright to Jacob). Because Esau’s anger was so great, Rebekah sent Jacob away fearing that his brother would kill her dearest son.

While on the run, Jacob found God and began to serve him. The Lord blessed Jacob, raining blessings that continue to follow his descendants to this day. But Jacob had to deal with his own thorn – the deceit of his Uncle Laban. From the onset Laban lied. He tricked Jacob into marrying his daughter Leah when Jacob really loved Rachel. Then Laban repeatedly changed the terms under which Jacob labored. Jacob reaped what he’d done to his brother Esau many times over and had a long while (at least 14 years) to think about it. Time has a way of doing that, causing us to soften our views and regret some of the decisions we’ve made. One day, Jacob decided he’d had enough of Laban’s lies, took his family and ran. Laban caught up with his daughters and son-in-law but being warned of God, merely kissed his family good bye. He and Jacob made a pact to not harm each other and Jacob promised to take good care of his wives.

Jacob returned to his homeland, after a wrestling match with an Angel of the Lord and receiving his new name (Israel), to find his brother, Esau, coming to meet them. “Oh, God,” he must have thought. Now, I have to meet the man I have so grievously wronged. Having been cheated by Laban, Jacob surely fully understood by this time what he’d done to his brother. He prepared to meet Esau with trepidation, dividing the women and children into camps to ensure someone would get away. He sent droves of animals ahead of him as gifts for his brother, hoping to soften him up for the reunion. Jacob was afraid, well and truly, not only because of retribution but because it was deserved. But when he finally saw Esau, something strange and unforeseen occurred:

But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. (Genesis 33:4)

In this, Jacob knew that his brother, with whom he’d shared a womb, missed and forgave him. Esau inquired of all the animals that came before the party. When told they were gifts, Esau replied, “Keep them, I have plenty.” You see, in all those years, Esau had done some thinking, too. He’d had time to come to terms with what happened. But also, he saw that whatever blessing Jacob had taken away didn’t prevent him from also being blessed. God had given Esau a good life, as well, just because he was Isaac’s son and descended from Abraham. And maybe because Esau, too, had undergone a change of heart.

I see now in this story two examples: both Jacob and Esau were rejected in the beginning by either parent. But they both came into their own blessing and gift with no need to be jealous of, or compete, with the other. Each had plenty. Many things are said of Esau in the Bible, not often good. He was despised of God, perhaps because of his haughty spirit. Or maybe simply because God wanted to turn the order of things on end, having the eldest serve the younger, as He is often wont to do. But I have learned something about Esau that is not mentioned in the Bible – his capacity for love. And I’m not just talking about brotherly love, I mean agape love, that love that forgives the ugliest of sins and offenses against us. Godly love. Who woulda thunk that the oft maligned Esau would prove to be such an example?

I said all that to say this: You never know what someone will do or who they will turn out to be. They may surprise you – in a good way. Donald Trump has been elected President of these United States, incredulously. Someone that began as the butt of jokes has turned the tables and is now become leader of the free world. I take heart in Esau’s example today, for he also began as a despicable man, the villain in the story. He eventually came to be a man able to minister grace and mercy to his offender. God is able to heal relationships and this country. Whatever your party affiliation, I suggest you pray for DT and his reign, and not in a negative way, because what he will do affects us all. Perhaps, he will prove to be like Solomon, who asked the Lord for wisdom to rule the great kingdom of Israel at the beginning of his reign. I believe and hope for the best but the truth is, we won’t know for about four more years just how all of this will impact us. Whether he turns out to be good or bad, time will reveal. But this I do know, if he is President, God has ordained it, for whatever reason. “We may throw the dice, but the LORD determines how they fall.” (Proverbs 16:33) May the Lord bless and keep us all.

Loria

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True Confessions

But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 10:17

Just for the record, my public confession will never be anything but good! I like to encourage others with my life – I think that’s part of my purpose. It may seem Pollyannaish at times. People accuse me of always being happy but that’s not always true. And it’s not something that just happens, I work at it! Not the illusion or image of seeming happy but the actual pursuit of it. It’s a decision I must make every single morning. And whenever I awaken to thoughts of a previous day well spent, where I made the right choice, did or said the right thing resulting in a positive outcome or went to bed with my head in a good place, I’m good. But the flip side of that is torturous, LOL!

I continually torment myself over the things I could have done better. Yesterday, for example, I stooped so low as to wish evil on someone. My daughter rebuked me for my speech, as I would have done for her in the past. That’s a good thing – that shows her maturity. But that I even went there reveals the dark place my thoughts had taken me. I was surly and rebellious. I awakened this morning and chose to not dwell on those negative things, situations out of my control that are not going my way or people who won’t act the way I think they should act. I won’t re-hash them because it’s pointless. I’ll just continue to feel bad and beat myself up. That is counterproductive. I choose positivity because I cannot do otherwise. The world would not like that version of me, nor would I like myself!

So, I know what negative thoughts do for me, but today I am reflecting on the end result of positive thoughts and confessions. I don’t even have to look back in my journals anymore to realize all the good things that have happened to me. Things changed in my life, when I became conscious of the way I thought and spoke of myself. Lately, I’ve been doing that more often, to the point of fanaticism, but I can’t seem to stop it. The more I confess, the more good things I see for myself. And not just way in the future, I mean right now. It’s as if my words are stirring up the etherworld to give me my heart’s desires. The way I see it, God is bringing these scriptures to mind because He wants to give that life to me. The more I say it, the more I will have.

It may be grating to some, I’ll admit, hearing my bold statements of faith spoken so often. But my confidence comes from God. Right now, I know that it can be viewed as arrogance by others, but one day we’ll all look back and see these statements as prophetic, as the Lord himself, telling us what He is about to do. David once said, “The Lord said to my lord, sit on my right hand until I make your enemies your footstool.” (Psalm 110:1) Oh, that is a bold declaration and, one day it was true. Saul was no longer a threat; David became king over all of Israel and God gave David rest from his enemies. The Apostle Peter later quoted the psalmist and labelled him prophet when speaking to the crowd on the day of Pentecost. So even though it may sound like bragging, I will continue to say what I want to see in my life.

My confessions this morning look like this:

My beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will my future be. Job 8:7

The Lord will bless my latter days more than my beginning. Job 42:12

The present glory of my house will be greater than the former. Haggai 2:9

A friend once said to me, “I believe when we look for good things to happen, they tend to happen.” That sentiment has carried me far, and kept me through much. No, it’s not always easy to “count it all joy,” that’s for sure. But I must move myself toward that end, speaking the end I wish to have and watch it come to pass. I am more than a conqueror. I am a lioness because my Father is a Lion, LOL! I expect to overcome this world and change it with my confession. I’ll say it until it’s true. I believe and know my best days are yet to come.

Be blessed,

Loria

P.S. This would be a good time “to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor” in your life, too. (Luke 4:19) The Cubs just won the World Series, which means, effectively, ANYTHING can happen, LOL! CONGRATULATIONS CHICAGO! I’m celebrating with you 🙂 #CUBSNATION #braggingrights

 

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New Again

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And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. Revelation 21:5

I seem to have gone through more than my fair share of trials lately. Ever felt that way? Then you wonder what it is you’re doing wrong. I’ve been asking, seeking and knocking (more like banging, LOL!) to no avail. Until it occurred to me – things keep happening to me. There’s something passive about that, as if I had nothing to do with it, therefore nothing can be done to prevent it. That doesn’t wash with me. I feel there is always something that can be done. Then another word came to mind. Allow. It gave my participation, or lack of, a name. You’ve allowed these things to happen to you, Loria. What? How? Where? For the answer, I went back to the beginning, when I re-set my life.

For me, everything began anew with my divorce. That’s when I began to live. Sounds strange, right? But it’s true. At that time, I stopped letting things happen to me and took more control over my life, the lives of my children and our future. It was a glorious rebellion, a hostile takeover – it was not given to me, I took it by force. For years, I heard Oprah sing the praises of keeping a personal journal. I did not heed her at the time because I was too busy. And I thought my life was fine, which it was because I never took the time to closely examine it. A clue was given me, that something was wrong, when I went to see a dietitian about my eating habits, ostensibly, to lose weight. But that session became so much more when she made a simple request: Describe to me what your day is like. 

I found myself in tears as I gave her the details of my life. Crying, for I knew not what. I was embarrassed. I never went back. But I recognized that feeling. I felt overwhelmed, like my life was not my own. She summed it up thusly: Wow – sounds like your life is kinda on auto pilot and you’re just hanging on for the ride! She was so right. My life was happening in a way and at a pace that left me running just to keep up. I had lost control.

Which brings me to my recent revelation. I asked myself, Loria, what is different about your life now? How did it get so out of control, again? Why are you letting things just happen to you instead of taking more of an active role? This time, the answer came quickly: journaling. Keeping a journal made the difference then and has already improved things of late. My journal is more than a record of what happened during my days, it’s a diary of my prayers. When I look back over them, I see that I have all that I ever asked God for during that transitional period in my life. Prayer is like an arrow – it gives you focus and aim to better enable you to hit your target. It’s like providing direction for your life. When I didn’t write it down, I became aimless and I fell for far too many distractions.

Moreover, writing less often removed the desire for me to write altogether. So, I found myself in a cycle once again of life happening and me just keeping up with the shenanigans. Writing the vision makes it plain – that the reader may see and run with it! Write that vision, Loria! Write it down – this is too important. Otherwise, you’ll continue to tread water and spin your wheels while you wait for something better to happen. It’s not gonna if you don’t direct it. God’s plan for me is good – to give me a future and a hope, an expected end. I’ve said this before and now I write to remind myself: write the ending you expect! Write that vision, girl! What you want out of life, claim it. I was waiting on God and becoming more frustrated but as usual, turns out he was waiting on me.

I’ve got my head twisted on straight now and I’m ready to re-enter the fight. Thank you, Lord, for giving me back my drive and ambition. Thank you for mistakes I’ve made along the way. I will not regret them because they are part of the process and necessary lessons to get me where I want to go. And, get me to where YOU want me to be so that you can bless me even more. I’m not afraid anymore for my future, I know you’re already there and you’ve made provision. I’m excited to see the things you have in store for me. You’re the God of better, of more than enough. You make all things new, AGAIN. Let’s get it – LET’S GO!

Be blessed,

Loria

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie:

though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3

 

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Moses’ Generation

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. MLK

O’ say can you see … Most folks, even the most patriotic of us, don’t realize that this is more than the opening verse of our national anthem. It’s actually a question. Colin Kaepernick has gotten himself in a fresh load of trouble for saying what he sees. Until that day, no one cared or noticed that he was African American. He certainly wasn’t on my radar, as I don’t watch football. One commentator actually stated outright that CK wasn’t black (for which he later apologized). Oh, but he is, and he proudly displayed his tall afro at the next football game so that there could be no doubt. He is black and, more importantly, he is identifying himself with the struggle. Bravo.

My daughter and I had a conversation about why he and actor Jesse Williams (also half black) would come down on this side of the argument, given that they have families who are not wholly black and may have even had a privileged background. I speculated that it was because they, perhaps even more than some of us who fully identify with the race, may have had negative experiences which made them see the differences between how white America and black America are being treated. It could be something as simple as being looked at a little differently when in a public outing because they’re obviously not like the rest of the family. Actresses Halle Berry and Lisa Bonet, both of mixed heritage, stated in interviews that their white mothers were the recipients of dirty looks while escorting their black child. So yes, they are black enough and may have more of an ax to grind because they see, firsthand, the inequities. Williams and Kaepernick are more than qualified to speak on our behalf.

But how many of those who are the product of biracial parentage can actually step outside of the perceived safety of their family, go against the grain, swim upstream, and rage against the very machine of which they may, if only by association, receive beneficial treatment? Not many, I think, for it is a very courageous thing to do. It’s to bite the hand that feeds you and not care for the consequences. You will likely be hated for your effort, as we see in the case of CK. Instead of pretending that all is well, which he could have continued to do, he used his position to take a stand against injustice. He has brought more attention to our plight eloquently, non-violently and in a way that is undeniably effective. And now other athletes are joining in the fight.

Even President Obama has addressed Kaepernick’s stand, stating that the football player is doing what all of our young people should be doing, engaging in the democratic process. Yes, this generation should be outraged about the things that don’t make sense and work to CHANGE them. It’s their world, too. We celebrate people around the world when they take a stand, venerating them even if it results in their death, as in the case of the epic unknown protester in Tiananmen Square. But when Iesha Evans took a similar stance against police brutality in America, she was arrested. It’s shameful that we, who routinely call other nations to the carpet, would ourselves need policing.

Today, I considered Moses, who stepped outside the comfort of his palace life and changed the future of his people. It couldn’t have been an easy choice, considering all he would lose. I imagine he must have thought about it for some time, watching his brothers and sisters be mistreated on a regular basis. Unfortunately, it’s a sad reality that those who are in power have a tendency to abuse such. After some time, it’s actually considered a normal part of life, not wrong. But not to Moses; one day he snapped as he witnessed an Egyptian beating a Hebrew slave. All of that festering resentment suddenly boiled over and Moses reacted in the strongest way possible to right the wrong. He committed murder to vindicate his kinsman and put himself on the side of the Israelites.

Many fellow Americans are supporting CK. With their money they’re taking a stand. Sales of his jersey have skyrocketed. Because we’re tired of it all. Let’s put an end to this foolishness. I am disheartened by the misguided folks who have deified the national anthem at the expense of the lives of our citizens. Let your passion, instead, drive you to enter the fight and wave your flag until true liberty and justice is a benefit enjoyed by all. And to my Christian sisters and brothers who have come down on the opposite side of the debate, I simply implore you to think for yourselves. Don’t give in to mob mentality. Seek God for true direction so that you can be sure that you’re truly on the right side. I’ll leave you with a scripture a friend posted this morning which blessed me:

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21)

So my answer to the question: Oh say can you see? Yes. I can and do see. My eyes are wide open. And I’ma need you to get it together America.

Be blessed,

Loria

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Inheritance

ac13fa2205eceebf9a77059e9ce698d7‘See, the LORD your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed.’ Deuteronomy 1:21

I chugged the liter of water down, straight from the bottle, almost not stopping until I’d finished the entire thing. My friends looked on with disbelief, eyes wide, brows raised at the small amount that remained. I had good reason to be thirsty. I’d stood out in the hot summer sun for nearly a half hour with no shelter on a concrete parking lot as I waited for them to show, LOL! I was a little chagrined that I’d not thought to ask anyone if they wanted anything from the smoothie bar in the mall on that Sunday afternoon. Blame it on my dehydrated state. I drained the rest of the bottle.

“Wow,” said one. “You really WERE thirsty!” We all laughed. It was true. And then she added a phrase of which I reminded her, “Not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole darn bottle!” That comment has stayed with me ever since. I think God is using it to show me something about following through on the vision he has given me. The goals I’ve made for myself, I must reach. Coming up short is not an option. I shall continue on with determination and perseverance until I have accomplished what I’ve set out to do.

We know the Israelites were God’s chosen people and He made a promise that He would lead them to a land flowing with milk and honey. He did, but not without some bumps along the way. Once the fledgling nation arrived on the scene – after witnessing miracles of walking across the red sea on dry land, being led by a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night – they were presented with a dilemma. Did they have the courage to take the land God had promised them? Fear stood between them and taking hold of their inheritance. They were counted unworthy of entering into the Promised Land because they failed to ACT as if they believed He would do what He said. So once God chooses you, there is a responsibility upon you to follow through. You must do your part. If you have faith in the One who brought you thus far, you must have the fortitude to act on it.

After they’d entered the Promised Land, the Israelites couldn’t occupy it in full, immediately. God told them he would drive out the nations before them slowly so that the land wouldn’t become overgrown and taken over by beasts. So it took some time. His people camped on one side of the Jordan, not fully realizing their inheritance. They’d only successfully conquered enough area for two and a half tribes so there remained “yet very much land to be possessed.” (Joshua 13:1) God then ordered Joshua to divide the rest of the land into nine and a half territories and encouraged the tribes to make each their own. He said to the Israelites: I’ve given you the land. Be brave and TAKE IT!

My recent book signing for Immaculate was a resounding success (pictures to follow)! I’m so thankful for every opportunity and every person who came out, purchased a book and helped us to celebrate. I feel like we’re still on the edge, though. The dream has not been fully realized. We’ve got a ways to go and our work is cut out for us. But I believe in what God told me and I’m not stopping until I see it through to fruition. I’m finding that God can give you a dream, a passion and a desire to do something, be someone and to live a better life. But He doesn’t always plop it in your lap like on the Monopoly game where you find out a dead uncle left you money and you’re suddenly rich. Sometimes, he places the opportunity before you and you have to be brave enough to reach for it.

I’ve heard it said that the human brain is capable of extraordinary things and that we only use a small portion of that which our brain is actually capable. I think it’s the same with our other abilities, as well. We only do a smidgen of what we are able to truly do. Fear can keep us from accomplishing all that we are created to do, just as in the case of the Israelites. Sometimes, we need that extra push from God, that encouragement, telling us to take possession of our inheritance. How long will we sit on the periphery of our destiny, not fully occupying our given territory? I had a conversation with my son recently which gave me the confirmation I needed.

“God didn’t call anybody to be small,” he said to me one day over breakfast. “Anybody.” He went on to let me know that he is of a state of mind that he is not accepting anything less than what he wants out of life. And he’s willing to work for it. He’s not looking for life to hand it to him, but he’s coming for it. “I want the body I want, the job I want, the life I want. It’s my inheritance! I want all of it.” Wow. There’s no settling in that mindset. No compromise. No, we’ll do this and see how it works. Not just a sip or a swallow. The whole darn bottle. So I want it all! Not because I’m greedy but because it’s mine. God gave me these abilities for a reason; He wants me to give me the life I desire. I only need to have the courage to go after it.

Be blessed,

Loria

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The Blooming Onion

alien-722415_1280I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

“You like that onion head boy,” My brother accused shrilly. He ended it on a questioning note but it was more of a proclamation. His high pitched voice was incredulous and filled the room. He was teasing but my face flushed. I was in high school at the time. Easily embarrassed, I sought the approval of others when it came to my choice in men, something I’ve since gotten over. But at the time, my brother’s declaration was enough to bring pause.

Irving was my first HUGE crush. I mean, I fancied myself in love with him. I had spent the entire summer mooning over him. Now he was back in my life and giving me the attention I always wanted. As my brother’s words sank in, so did my heart. I beheld the picture of my love thru the lens of my fickle emotions and thought: He has an onion head? He does! How have I not noticed that before? His head seemed especially bulbous and his neck shrunken. Onion like. He was even the color of the root. Sadly, I dismissed my would-be paramour for nothing more than the shape of his head. Time revealed that was a good decision, for he turned out to be as fickle as myself. Ah, young love! But I have never regretted my decision to NOT add the onion head to our gene pool. Still, I am a fan of the onion.

I love the scene from Gone with the Wind where Scarlett O’Hara bites into an onion. In the movie, it’s a potato. But the book says she bites into an onion. Now I love onions raw and sliced on a burger, diced and on a hot dog or taco. I chop up yellow for my potato salad or put slivers of red on a bed of fresh green lettuce leaves. I sauté them in pretty much any dish. But to bite into a whole, uncooked onion (or a potato, for that matter) is unimaginable. This scene spoke to her desperation. Scarlett had gone from riches to reality. Finding sustenance in dire straits, on the edge of starvation, she vowed: I’ll never be hungry again!

I’m gearing up in preparation for my next round of book signings and let me just state, it is a harrowing process. Even though I’ve done this before – heck, I’ve been singing and teaching since I was a young girl – I should be used to being in the public eye by now. Yet, each time, I build up such a case of nerves. Just the devil, I know, creating fear where there should be none. He’s very effective at that.

I paused in the midst of my panic attack and reminded myself: the onset of these feelings are usually brought upon because I’m looking at myself. I don’t feel equal to the opportunity, I fret. I’m an introvert, I said to myself mournfully, right before my last event. Why do I keep putting myself in this position? It’s pretty funny, in retrospect, so this time I decided to cut to the chase. The conclusion I came to put me back on track. I realized it’s not me. It’s you, Lord! It’s always you. Never can I do anything in and of my own ability. It is in you that I live and move and have my being. I abide in the True Vine. I borrow my power from you. I can do this.

“Onions have layers. Ogres have layers… You get it? We both have layers,” Shrek.

This morning I appreciated the onion analogy ala Shrek. It has layers. Anyone who’s ever eaten a blooming onion can attest to its appeal. The fun is in peeling away each crusty, deep fried level, working your way to its center. It occurred to me that I’m kind of like an onion, too – the fried variety, LOL! I find myself in hot oil from time to time but as I am raised from the intense heat, I can see the layers more clearly. They have been revealed because of my situation. I bloom in that heat, though initially, it seems stressful. An occasion for me to cry can morph into something wonderful. And when I am lifted up I will be transformed for the experience, a beautiful batter dipped creation, a culinary wonder. Those crispy protrusions pull back and open to display the core of which the onion is built around, that holds it all together.

So many great comparisons can be drawn from the onion. My core is His strength. Overheated situations peel back me and reveal Him. At my center, I hope you will find Him. Or, you can think of it like this. The Bible urges us to circumcise our hearts, to get rid of those layers that separate us from Him – that pride and stubbornness – so that He can replace our hard heart with a tender one. One that is more pliable and receptive to His way and will. The most tender part of the onion is the heart. You just have to get past all of the layers to reveal it. As I am peeled away, I get closer to the person he has called me to be. I decrease, He increases. Like the heart of the onion, I am hidden in Christ. I could go on and on. But I think you get the picture! I am an onion!

Be blessed.

Loria

 

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Groaning Pains

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“But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” Romans 8:26

“I love the Lord, he heard my cry and pitied every groan.” Whitney Houston (The Preacher’s Wife soundtrack)

She sat by the window of her bedroom, sunlight streaming across her aged features. The sunbeams revealed a face full of wisdom. Casting her gaze around the room, she focused with her one good eye. I watched as she pulled her paralyzed, atrophied arm closer to her torso using her fully functioning hand. A huge sigh escaped her, full of hidden meaning as she exclaimed:

“Oh God!”

“What’s wrong, Mama?” Seeing her outwards signs of distress, the way in which she stroked her arm as if to comfort herself, I was concerned. She looked up at me from her wheelchair and replied:

“Nothing. I just felt like saying, ‘Oh, God!'”

I never did find out the cause of my late mother-in-law’s angst. Clearly, something was bothering her, although she would not share it with me. Instead she infused all that she was thinking into that simple phrase, Oh, God. I’ve come to find out since, that it is a prayer. Sometimes, just saying His name is a source of comfort, for HE alone knows what we’re going through. When we are in so much pain that we cannot form the words or give voice to them, an “Oh, God!” will do.

When I was a little girl, my family would travel “down south” frequently. Thirteen hours in a car filled to capacity with only stops to use the restroom. My mother would pack our meal so that we could eat along the way. She stored the fried chicken, fresh and hot, in a shoe box lined with foil. (She always kept shoe boxes because they could come in handy later. Don’t know where she kept them, though, for they would materialize at just the right time, as needed.) She supplied a homemade cake, as well – my mother made THE best yellow cake with a chocolate, ganache-type icing. I can’t remember the other accoutrements but I knew the chicken was always accompanied by a soft loaf of Holsum bread. Usually, our host would provide similar vittles for the return journey. Now that was some good eating!

On one occasion, my Uncle Edmund was driving and it was winter. We were on the road to “Miss’ippi” (as folks from Mississippi pronounced it) on a dark road. As he drove across a bridge, the tires struck a patch of ice, sending the car into a tail spin. As we, the occupants, held on for dear life, I remember my grandmother, Mama Bessie, crying out from the back seat: “JESUS!” The car stopped on a dime, just before we would have crashed through the rail. So sometimes, you don’t even have time to say a prayer. That night I learned that “JESUS!” would do in a pinch.

Still, there are other times when words fail us altogether. We cannot even find it in us to speak His name, so great is our misery. We can rest assured that he hears us, nonetheless. Our spirit cries out on our behalf, talking to Him, telling our Father what words alone cannot convey. Situations in life can drive us to our knees. Mentally, if not in actuality, we’re crawling in our disposition. Grief often has us on our faces, in the dirt, on the floor. But repeatedly, the Bible says, God heard the cries of the oppressed and he delivered them; famously so, in the case of the Israelites. Notably, so, in my own life. I am convinced that Our Father still hears every moan of distress. He sees every sign of dismay. During our most painful moments, we can take comfort. He hears our inner scream and will deliver us from our affliction.

Be blessed,

Loria

I love the LORD because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! Psalm 116:1-2

 

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An Eggcellent Life

egg-1368257_1280“The LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning …” (Job 42:12)

Every time you break an egg, the potential exists for something wonderful to happen. I recently introduced a friend to the frittata. Changed his life, lol! He immediately fell in love with and has been endeavoring to make them ever since. As someone who’s been cooking and baking most of my life, I can testify to the transformative power of eggs. My daughter once found a recipe for peanut butter cookies that included just peanut butter, sugar and egg. From these simple ingredients comes the the fastest cookie you’ll probably ever make. Just delicious! But eggs are so fragile. Drop one on the floor and it’s ruined. Try as you might, you cannot salvage them.

It struck me this morning how much this resembles my life. Repeatedly, my eggs have been wrecked beyond repair, like Humpty Dumpty. But God has given me beauty for ashes, from my sorrows came joy, His peace was revealed through my pain. He poured upon me the Oil of gladness and I often found that calamity brought renewed prosperity, as in the case of Job. So maybe we ought not get so turnt up about troubles as they come. They may just be new opportunities to create something great. God can create something wonderful, even out of eggs that have crashed to the floor.

Be blessed,

Loria

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Digging Holes

Dig it upA farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up… Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. (Matthew 13:3-4, 8)

Some amazing things are happening in my life right now. Immaculate is creating wonderful opportunities and I’m just in awe of God and what He is doing. Coupled with the great things have been some crushing disappointments. Every time I think I have it all sewed up, things seem to come unraveled. It’s enough to make me wanna give up. Until I recalled the story of Joseph and it put things in perspective.

You may know the story but I’ll briefly recap. Joseph could interpret dreams. His brothers hated him so that he was sold into slavery. But God favored Joseph, who proved so trustworthy that his new master, Potiphar, gave him control over the entire household. Potiphar’s wife saw Joseph and lusted after him. She failed in her attempt to seduce him and cried rape. Potiphar (the captain of the guard) sent Joseph to prison – you know, the fancy one where they send politicians. But the favor of God followed him there, too. The jailer put Joseph in charge. One day, seeing the downcast faces of his fellow prisoners, Joseph offered to put his gift to use and help them.

Preparation met opportunity in that both of these fellows worked for Pharaoh. Joseph said to the cup bearer, who would benefit greatest (unlike the baker, who was damned): Remember me! But of course, the cup bearer forgot and Joseph continued to languish in prison for TWO MORE YEARS! I suppose Joseph, being human, wanted to give up when his wrong wasn’t righted immediately. He may have become discouraged when the cup bearer didn’t immediately spring him free. As the days went by, his hopes likely dwindled and he may have wondered if he would ever be released from prison. Cushy jail or not, it was still jail.

He knew the God of his fathers was faithful. Joseph had been blessed in every circumstance, no matter what tragedy befell him. But this new development had given him hope that his trials would be over soon. And hope is wonderful for lifting your spirits out of despair but also so disheartening when they are not realized. I imagine Joseph, shoulders slumped, drained of all confidence regarding his state. Was he destined to live this life of not quite making it before being snatched back into the pit he dared crawl out of? Was this his life and all there was to it? He may have wondered, why me? Almost, almost, almost but never THERE. His dreams told him a bigger life was in store for him, but his life had yet to catch up with his dreams. He had played his card and lost. He may have been resigned to his fate when suddenly his name was called:

“There he is,” the voice of the jailer said, fondness evident in his voice. Joseph was a model prisoner and his personal favorite. A more faithful person, in the jailer’s estimation, you couldn’t find. How Joseph came to be in this place, the jailer couldn’t fathom because the favor of God was clearly upon this young man. Joseph made life easier for him and the jailer trusted him implicitly. Had there been such a thing as early release due to good behavior or based on rehabilitation, the jailer may have done it, so highly did he esteem Joseph. Joseph looked up as his name was called, his expression dispirited, too hangdog to be expectant. Then he saw the Pharaoh’s men standing in the entrance lit by torches they carried. The lateness of the hour proclaimed the important nature of their visit. Wordlessly, Joseph jumped to his feet as the men opened the door to his cell. They did not grab him roughly but, instead treated him as a dignitary of some stature.

“Pharaoh desires your presence,” the lead soldier announced. Too overwhelmed to be overjoyed, Joseph acquiesced and soon found himself ushered before the leader of all of Egypt. The Pharaoh had been having trouble sleeping due to a recurring nightmare, Joseph had already been informed by the cupbearer, who met with him upon arrival. The cupbearer apologized for the delay but explained he only then remembered (or perhaps, he hadn’t wanted to remind Pharaoh of his offense).

“God will give you a favorable answer,” Joseph said to the Pharaoh and gave the meaning of the dream. It was a warning to the leader that famine was coming soon but during the years preceding there would be plenty. Joseph suggested, being a man used to overseeing the needs of a household and prison, that Pharaoh store up the plenty against the time of famine. Pharaoh thought it such a wonderful idea that he put Joseph in charge of implementing the plan. Now, the boy who was ousted from his father’s house, betrayed by his own brethren and sold into slavery was the vice-president, so to speak, of Egypt!

Today I feel like Joseph and so should you. One day all that we’ve gone through will make sense. It’s preparing us for a bigger day. The vision is for an appointed time – though it tarries, it will not lie (Habakkuk 2:3). Joseph dreamed he’d be bigger than anyone in his family but it didn’t happen for many years. During that time many bad things may have happened that told him his vision was a lie, but Joseph continued to sow seed towards the person he would become. Every honorable act, from taking care of Potiphar’s household to spurning his wife, being a trusted and valued prisoner for the Jailer, and even interpreting troubling dreams for his friends was seed. And one day it would bear fruit. Believing God in the face of what his situation looked like or despite how he felt must have been challenging. But one day he looked back and realized it was God preparing him so that he could be equal to the opportunity. He was able to say to his brothers, then reconciled, “You meant it for evil but God meant it for good.”

Lately, it seems that life events have swung back and forth, like a pendulum, from one extreme to another. But I know the vision God gave me; even though it is delayed, I will wait for it. And I’ll keep preparing for the person God wants me to be, for it is surely coming! Until then I’ll be digging holes and scattering seed, waiting for my harvest. Lord, help me to be equal to the opportunity when it arrives.

Be blessed,

Loria

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It’s Gone Rain on Yo’ Head!

color purple-rain on your head
The Color Purple: It’s gon’ rain on yo’ head!

But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. (Philippians 2:17)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

Bone tired. Weary. These past few weeks have been mentally draining, but rewarding, full of ups and downs. I’ve ridden a roller coaster of emotions from utmost despair to life-giving hope. I’m exhausted. My faith in the concept of an Open Heaven was put to the test, recently, with the hospitalization of my mother. I thought of the story of Hezekiah when I asked God for more time with MaDear. Surely this is a small thing for you, Lord! God granted my request and I am so thankful! But after a week of watching over her, culminating in an overnight stay, my own life suffered from neglect. Even as issues came up while I was tending to my mom, I regarded them with Scarlett O’Hara disdain: I won’t think about that now. I’ll think about that tomorrow!

So a week’s worth of I’ll-do-it-tomorrows, fires that needed putting out YESTERDAY and things that required my immediate attention were delayed until that crisis was over. And I’d do it again. No THING was as important as what I was doing at that moment, no place so dire that it required my presence. My mom needed me and I needed to be with her. These other things were important, just not as high in priority. Then came the day of reckoning, when it all caught up to me. Wave after wave of actions I could no longer put off overwhelmed me. To be fair, some of it was my fault due to my own habit of procrastination.

Moments of joy also snuck into the dilemmas – I attended a business expo where I debuted a copy of Immaculate and had a meeting with a woman of some standing regarding the original book, Touched. Picture me tagging along in the footsteps of said woman (the wife of a prominent dignitary) looking the picture of the ingénue. Kinda like Emma Stone’s character in The Help or Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada – you know, the all too green girl who’s brand new to the scene. I took it all in with a sense of wonder. I was among greatness! But I wasn’t too surprised, after all, the Bible does promise that is where my gifts will take me. Still, I just hope my eyes weren’t too big, LOL!

This created an odd mixture of highs and lows as both aforementioned events occurred on the same day and I had to squeeze in a visit to my mom in between. My sister fell sick after she’d stayed up all night providing confections for my presentation at the expo. She made cake pops that looked like tiny books with my cover on them! Super talented, that one is. I had to return to the hospital and finish out her shift. Whew! But I didn’t give in. I kept going until the important things were taken care of.

It was only afterwards that I succumbed. After my mom was released from the hospital and doing well, after I’d taken care of all the necessary things that claimed my attention. I woke yesterday morning feeling out of sorts, blah, troubled in my spirit. Didn’t even know why. Couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I’ve learned, though, that feelings are fickle. Can’t trust ‘em because they may vary from minute to minute. I ate breakfast as my stomach did flips. Drank my coffee and still was not eased. Then I decided to ride it out and just wait ‘til the feeling passed. I took a nap. Woke up feeling better and had more of a handle on what I was experiencing. My throat felt like it had a small lump on the inside when I swallowed, an indication of the onset of something allergy or virus related. And there I had it, I realized. I was worn down, nearly sick physically but too busy to take note. My body was slowly shutting down, forcing me to get what I needed, the rest I would not take but for physical limitations.

Have you ever felt like you’ve given your all, your absolute all – done the very best you can do and worn yourself down to a nub? A question I’ve often asked myself is, where do you go when you’ve emptied your cup? Who or what fills you back up to capacity so that you can get back at it again? Father, I’m so glad that when troubles come my way, when they pile up on my head, when the enemy comes against me like a flood, YOU will lift up a standard against him (Isaiah 59:19). David, that great psalmist, was able to declare after he had been run to the ground by Saul and his enemies: YOU restore my soul so that my cup runneth over! Elijah, after outrunning King Ahab’s chariot, soon found himself on the run from Queen Jezebel. But an angel caught up with Elijah and provided sustenance to strengthen him for the journey ahead. So when I pour myself out and sacrifice myself in service, I can be assured there will be a refill and restoration.

Thank you, Lord, that you know my limits. You know when I have poured myself out and given all I can to my family and my ministry. You know when I am at the end of my rope. I can trust You to make sure I get the rest I need and the peace for my soul. You fill my cup again and again, until it overflows.

Be forever blessed,

Loria