Author: loriaboyle

“…For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and for us and conferred on us!”  Romans 8:18

A Facebook friend, an acquaintance really, posted recently that she was in a lot of pain and needed encouragement. This scripture immediately came to mind. I thought twice about sending it, not wanting to seem like I was making light of her pain. I genuinely wanted to help and I’ve learned by now that when a scripture pops into my head, it’s usually relevant to the situation or meant to minister to someone. It’s how God sometimes speaks to me and through me. Still, I hesitated – would it seem a well-meaning, feel-good gesture but still fall flat? A little doubtful of my reception, I followed His leading.

So I replied with, what I refer to as, my FUBU scripture. For Us, By Us. Yeah, it’s misquoted but you get my drift. The acronym helps me to remember. When I recall it to my mind, it sounds something like this: Whatever you’re going through is gonna seem like nothing – like a light affliction – compared to what God’s going to do IN us, By us, For us, Thru US! When I think about it something inside me dances! To think that God is going to use me, work through me, complete a work in me – WOW. That really gets me revved. It usually works to encourage me and distract me from my present plight. My mind goes off on a tangent, thinking about my future potential. I think about the pendulum swinging from very bad, as bad as it gets – to good, very good, as good as anything could ever be. It’s one of my favorite scriptures and has ministered to me many, many times. It gives me hope.

My Facebook friend replied, very simply, on my wall: Thank you. Which I took to mean that, hopefully, the scripture encouraged, instead of offending. But the brevity of her reply left me in doubt. Did it really help or was she merely being polite? I wondered. Did I get it wrong, did I miss God’s leading or was I just being overly sensitive?

“So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)

Did his word really achieve the purpose for which it was sent? Hmmm. But a funny thing happened on the way to posting that scripture. Instead of initially replying to her post, I wound up posting it on my wall, like it was my status instead of a reply. I wanted to delete it altogether, because it was a mistake, or so I thought. I rectified the matter by replying to her post so that she knew the scripture was meant for her. And after I received her thank you, I noticed a reply to my wall post from another Facebook friend.

As it turned out, it was just what SHE needed to hear. She was going through a tough time and when she saw the scripture, it ministered to her. She was in tears and so, nearly, was I when I saw her reply. His word did accomplish its purpose. It did not return to him empty. I was glad I obeyed his leading as it led to healing for someone, maybe not my intended recipient, but certainly God’s. It was a happy surprise and an unexpected benefit – I knew then that God spoke to me and he used me to encourage my friend. Not coincidence but providence.

So how do you know when God is speaking to you? For me, it’s been a gradual realization. Over time, I’ve learned to trust his leading, mainly because of the many times it was ignored. It started out with reading my Bible. At first, out of curiosity, and gradually, because of a thirst for more knowledge. Then a scholarly looking gentleman came to my church. He fascinated me. He was known as “The Walking Bible” because he could quote any scripture, verbatim, just from memory. In fact, he testified that he read the Bible twice a year, cover to cover, just to refresh his memory. Sadly, (sigh) I am not him. But I have always admired him and aspire to be like him. I’ve read the Bible cover to cover a few times and can usually get you in the general vicinity of the scripture. I may even recall the name of the book. But chapter and verse? Not so much.

After studying for a few years, I noticed that scriptures would pop into my head. The first time it got my attention, I was talking to a friend. As the scriptures came to me, they were all relevant to our conversation. I got goose bumps as I relayed them to her. I felt like they must be meant, specifically, for her. With a certain amount of trepidation, I confessed that I believed God was speaking through me. Gulp. Seriously. I didn’t want to be crazy. I felt that only nutty people walked around saying they heard the voice of the Lord. But it was true. I realized that he was using these scriptures to speak to me. Before I could really think I was going off the deep end, I came across a verse that shed some light on my situation:

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.” John 14:26

The Holy Spirit was giving me the ability to recall these scriptures and bring them to mind whenever I needed them. Whew. Me not crazy. What a relief. Still, knowing that he’s actually speaking and actually obeying that voice is a bit of a stretch. At times, I haven’t trusted myself to be able to discern the difference between his voice and mine. But I’ve learned to apply two simple tests: Is it something he would say? Studying God’s word helped to teach me about the mind and will of God. The second test: Is the action required good, true, kind? If I can answer yes to those questions, I will usually follow through. Every time I obey his voice and he proves himself, I am encouraged to obey him again.

Be blessed,

Loria

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin…”
(Zechariah 4:10 NLT)

It’s so important to have the right attitude – with it; we can change our reality and our future. I spent my younger years really bemoaning my lack of, well, everything. Maybe that’s an exaggeration but I just felt like I didn’t have enough of, whatever. Fill in the blank. I really didn’t appreciate a lot that I had, be it my appearance, my social status, my material possessions or my gifts and talents. Somewhere along the way, I started hearing about the “attitude of gratitude” – I could appreciate the sentiment but I still didn’t actively cultivate it. It seemed a little too simple, a little patronizing, a platitude, even. I didn’t see it as something that could change my life.

I really haven’t had many car accidents in my life, fortunately. But the big one that I had was a doozy. Not because it changed me physically, but because it caused a shift in my way of thinking. I was shook up and initially devastated over the damage to my car, but I walked away from the experience thankful. The ambulance driver helped to put it in perspective for me. In retrospect, I wonder if he was an angel. I never got his name but he was just so kind to me that I’ve never forgotten him. While I lay on the stretcher in the back of the ambulance, I felt helpless as my children looked on. That’s a position that, as a mother, you never want to be in – you always want to be able to protect your children. But I tried not to let my panic show because my kids were so small.

I thought about the mess I’d made of things, my car was damaged – how would I get to work? My kids were frightened and I was a mess. Tears welled up in my eyes and I wept, silently. The ambulance driver wiped my tears and asked gently, “Why are you crying?” I told him, “Because I’ve messed up everything!” I broke my car, I broke my head, and everything was all jacked up. He was so kind to me and my children. I don’t know why. He stroked my head and spoke words of comfort to me, letting me know to not worry about the loss of material things. That I was ok was the important thing. And he took care of my children by keeping them close to me, knowing that even seeing their mother in her bleeding state, they would be comforted. It’s been said that people will often forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Yeah. I have never forgotten his kindness and am forever grateful for him. He ministered to us during our time of need. I figured he must have been an angel.

I was cleaned up, stitched up and sent home, battered but bettered by the experience. I just saw God’s hands in the whole of it, moving on my behalf, turning what was meant for evil into something good. That’s when I knew He loved me. I saw the accident again in my mind and I saw his hand – cushioning the blow and protecting us. I thought about how much worse things could have been and I was grateful. But my kids were still pretty shook up. While I was recovering and lying in the bed, they came to me one day, relived the accident and talked about how scary it was. My son asked, “Mama, why did God let that happen to us?” I didn’t even hesitate to answer him because, just at that moment, I knew. I put into words what I had not dared to say. I was still wrapping my head around it. “Baby, God didn’t make that happen – it was God who protected us.” I saw understanding dawn in his eyes. “Mama, why did he do that?” “Because,” I simply replied, “He loves me.” I was crying again because I knew, as I voiced it, it was true.

That accident was a literal and figurative knock on the head. That’s when God truly got my attention. I imagine now how different my life would be if I hadn’t learned two lessons then: to see and be grateful for what he is doing and to trust that he loves me. Other lessons have followed but the foundation was laid in those early, essential, elementary lessons. From these lessons sprang my understanding of the Parable of the Talents (See Matthew 25:14-30) and how it is important to for us to appreciate what God has given us. Then I understood the relationship between lack and increase and the route traversed to get from one mindset to the other. In the parable the two good servants who were “faithful over a few things” (or in small matters) were rewarded by being made “ruler over many things”, or, as the scripture is often paraphrased, “ruler over much”. One day, I had a revelation. I said to myself, how do I get to the “much”? The answer came back so quickly that I knew it wasn’t me who answered. “By being faithful over the few,” or by being appreciative of the little things.

For me, it came down to attitude, meaning, how I view what God is doing in my life, followed by gratitude or how much I appreciate it. I began to see him in everything, acknowledge and appreciate him. I began to be thankful for little things. And he began to bless me with more. I realized that I would never reach the much stage unless I was thankful for what he was doing for me right now. Gratitude, I know now, is my key to unlock and release my blessings. When I am thankful, I act accordingly. I treat my blessings with reverence, knowing that God didn’t have to give them to me. I take what he has given me, thank him for it and work to increase it, rather than complain about my lack. It makes me wonder; did he just now begin to bless me? Or did I only just now begin to see? Really see Him? What if, his hand has been in my life all along, protecting me, but my eyes were too dull to see? I think about all that I may have missed – wonderful blessings that were right in front of me. And it makes me even more determined to appreciate and enjoy blessings that I have right now. I’ve found, it’s from the little things that big things grow.

Be blessed,

Loria

“And hope maketh not ashamed …” Romans 5:5

“Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.” Psalm 145:16

It’s been said, “I think, therefore, I am.” Well, I’d like to offer a different take on that line of thought: I hope. Therefore, I am – right where I always wanted to be. I was talking to my daughter the other day about how we are seeing the fruition of a lot of things that I wanted for them. At one time, just getting my kids through high school and paying for college seemed a distant dream. I saw a long, tough road ahead of me. But I hoped. And I planned.

A friend of mine always loves to paraphrase the scripture, “he that builds a building must first count the cost.” (Luke 14:28) Meaning, before you go on to do the great thing, you must first account for how you’re going to do it. You’ve got to have a plan of action. Plans are born of hopes. Sometimes, when I have a dream or real desire, I ask myself AND God, “How can I make this happen?” But oftentimes, it’s not so much a concrete plan, as it is pointing my feet and just moving in the right direction, keeping my eyes focused on my goal.

Now, hope and faith are connected. Hope is the budding of the desire. It is your wish. It’s the seed, sown. The route we take to reach our dream is the plan. But faith is the implementation of the plan. Faith acts on what it believes and hopes for. Abraham, also known as, The Father of the Faithful, is so called because he believed and acted on the word of God even when he could not see the end result. His faith was far sighted. He had to believe that what he was doing right now would eventually pay off, giving him what he desired AND what God had promised – descendents as numerous as the sand and stars, tracing their genesis to one man.

So I look back and see where my ambitions have brought me. What has God done for me? It’s been a heady journey. I can’t even begin to number my blessings, not just the random and unlooked for, but things I actually asked for – it boggles my mind. I’ve come to believe it was my hopes and dreams which gave me focus and determined my outcome. I was living life in the here and now but with my eye on the future. Just as no building suddenly appears, completely finished on the skyline without thought or prior planning, we cannot become the finished product without having some thought of who or where we want to be. It is our hopes and dreams that drive us; so keeping our focus on the big picture in our dealings now will pay off, eventually.

My conversation with my daughter began, innocuously enough, with a discussion about her involvement in church and choir. She really enjoys going and singing and being involved in ministry. I let her know, this was no idle occurrence but in fact, the realization of a dream. See, my sister and I had a really positive church experience growing up. We loved going to our church, which included a large family with children around our ages. And our choir, man, our choir could SANG! À cappella harmonies were our specialty. We were awesome! Church was where our friends were and our adopted family. We spent a good deal of our youth at that church during a crucial time in our lives.

It was truly a wonderful experience – we have so many great memories that we wanted the same for our children. So then, it’s really no coincidence that we achieved our objective. Our desire was fueled by watching so many children reach that milestone age, usually around fifteen or sixteen, where they don’t want to go to church anymore. They rebel against church and its teachings. They reject you, they reject family and go off to pursue their own thing. It’s really a critical time in their lives, making the difference between them being lost, sometimes forever, never to recover and between becoming successful, productive members of society. It’s that serious. I wish I were making that up. I’ve seen many young people walk away – sometimes they return after living a hard life and sometimes that hard life claims them.

So, you can see why this was so important to us – we knew the consequences and the devastation that could result from having a slack attitude regarding our kids. We hoped for more. We focused on what we truly wanted. We came up with a plan, implemented it and steered our children in the right direction. And the desired result was achieved. Not as easy as it sounds, believe me! I am forever indebted and grateful to my brother-in-law for having the same vision and actually providing an outlet for our children. He created a choir for them and kept them actively involved. He reached out to ALL the kids in that age group. Due to his efforts and persistence, these kids love church. They love to sing. They love being part of ministry. It keeps them focused and gives them purpose. Mission accomplished.

Right now, as we’re coming to the close of another school year, I’m actually closing a chapter in my life. I am seeing the dream realized in so many areas. God has done so much. I’ve made some hard choices but I am ever so glad that I did, because I am now seeing my payoff. Five years ago, starting over was terrifying. Wow. Was that really me lying in a puddle of my own tears? Yeah, it was. Was. WAS! Past tense, baby! I made it. I’ve done all that I set out to do. Picture me, pumping my fist and shouting, “YEAH!” Yeah. Back then, my dream seemed so far out of my reach. All I could do was hope and hold on. But I kept pressing forward with my hope ever before me, like a beacon, lighting the way. And look at me now.

Be blessed,

Loria

P.S. This article is dedicated to my friend and counselor who always made me feel like I would make it. I asked her once, “How can you listen to so many tragic stories?” Although my own was heartbreaking, I knew she’d heard worse. And she replied, “I also get to hear the victories, too.” So here’s to victory. And here’s to you. I know you’re reading this and celebrating with me. Thanks.

“…Yet, because you relied on the LORD, He delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…” (2 Chronicles 16:8-9 KJV)

This scripture deals with Asa, king of Judah. By the time of his reign, the majority of Israel’s twelve tribes had broken away from Judah and existed as two separate kingdoms. The two kingdoms warred against each other intermittently and Israel laid siege to Judah with the backing of the king of Syria. King Asa sent tribute to Syria, bribing them to turn against Israel and fight on Judah’s behalf instead. The plan worked. Syria attacked the towns of Israel, causing them to abandon the siege to deal with their former ally and newest threat. Judah was saved but at what expense? God delivered Judah before when Asa cried out for help – he would have done it again. The prophet told King Asa that he erred in looking elsewhere for help, instead of to God. In trying to handle the situation in his own power, Asa brought lasting trouble upon his own head.

There are several versions of this scripture, I feel, having two subtly different meanings – one, using the example in the NIV, implies that God will give us strength and back us up in our endeavors. But the King James Version is my favorite, for it implies that God, himself, is waiting for an occasion to BE my strength, to rescue me from whatever calamity. It lets me know I can look to God for help; indeed, he is at the ready, searching for the very opportunity to be my Superman. He’s looking for an excuse – he wants to rescue me.

Sometimes, like King Asa, instead of looking to God, I try to work things out for myself. My mind works overtime, stimulated by some crisis, trying to figure out a solution to my problem, looking for help. In spite of how God has proven himself to me, I still try to do things in my own strength. I devise all kinds of plans to get myself out of the situations I sometimes find myself in. Most times, they actually work so I don’t feel the need to go to God. As long as I feel like I can handle it, I don’t ask. Sometimes, I even fool myself into believing I still have matters under control. But control is an illusion; I am increasingly convinced of this.

This life is not always easy to live. I might make it look easy, LOL – but it’s not. It’s always God at work in me, helping me, leading me. I know this. But I’ve actually deluded myself, at times, into thinking that I’ve done it alone. I said to my daughter once, “When I’m old, I don’t want you to take care of me.” I stubbornly insisted I didn’t need help – not her, not anyone – I am dependent on no one. But I knew it for a lie no sooner than it left my lips. I do nothing without help. Even when I don’t ask, I get plenty. No man is an island. Still, I’ve spent the greater part of my life in denial, always trying to work things out for myself, never ceding control.

When my son was in kindergarten, he had a really nice teacher. We, his dad and I, thought she was the greatest. But one thing nagged me – she didn’t meet him at his level. I’d spent a lot of time and energy preparing him for school. I wanted him to excel and be among the top in his class. I was preparing him for college, for goodness’ sake! But for her, there was no top. All of the children were taught at the same level, regardless of their ability. That was frustrating for me, as a parent.

The following year, we registered my daughter in kindergarten. Despite the previous year’s experience, we wanted her to have the same teacher. I’d resigned myself to kindergarten reality and figured at least, we knew who we were dealing with. But a funny thing happened – my daughter was put with a different teacher. As it turned out, this teacher was actually a better fit for all of us. She had a system in place that allowed her to teach each child at their level. My daughter was allowed and encouraged to excel. And her teacher was nominated for the Golden Apple Award, which I felt she truly deserved. Had I pushed and insisted on controlling that situation by putting my daughter with my son’s teacher, I would have cheated myself. I learned that I don’t always have to control the situation to get what I want or need. I can trust God for a favorable outcome.

A friend recently confided in me that she was in a really difficult place in her life right now. Her life is out of her control. She keeps coming up against road block after road block. She was depressed and entertaining thoughts of suicide. I understand. I’ve been there myself. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody’s life is in shambles at one time or another – truly. The good news is that our troubles are not extraordinary troubles. They are common, or normal – just “life” happening.

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

Summed up in four simple words – you can do it. You can make it. You can take it. When people say this to me, I am comforted and infused with confidence. When God says it, I am imbued with power and purpose because He is expressing confidence in me and what he has put in me. I used to doubt my ability to handle my problems but now, I just roll with it because God says I can deal. I am confident that He will not let us be so overwhelmed that it destroys us.

My daughter will go her senior on prom in little over a week. She graduates soon thereafter. This summer I will be busy getting her ready for college, as I did with my son last year. With all the preparations and subsequent celebrations, I imagine “life” will happen quite a bit. I am already overwhelmed by all that I have to do. I’m sure I will be tempted to try and work things out for myself. But today I remind myself that even when events may seem out of my control, He is still in control. I know he is just looking for an opportunity, so I will trust him to rescue me.

Be blessed,

Loria

“…For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:6-8

“The main thing to remember is … don’t forget the main thing!” Unknown.

“I press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

Have you ever listened to a sermon or attended a seminar where you heard something or received some knowledge and thought, “Wow! So and so should really be here to hear this! This really applies to them!” Well, the scripture about the “double-minded man” bounced around in my head for a few days and I thought to myself, “Yeah, some people are really double minded.” And then it bopped me on the head like the V-8 commercial – this applied to me.

Hey. I’m human. I make mistakes – all the time. I fall for some of the same tricks that most people fall for. But in order to keep from making the same mistakes, I try to learn from the past so that I can move on and make different mistakes. The trap that has ensnared me for years now is a technique my brother refers to as, pulling me off my square. Think of it as a game of say, chess or checkers, where each piece is supposed to occupy its own colored square. The trick is to get your opponent to commit to a move where you can take advantage of him. If you can get him to respond to what you are doing, instead of working his own strategy – to play your game instead of his own – you have successfully distracted him and in effect, pulled him off his own square. In other words, he got so caught up in what you were doing that he forgot his own purpose.

This trick has worked effectively on me for a few years now. Have you ever started something, some noble cause or ministry, or even something that you just really enjoy, only to be derailed by the efforts of others? I have. In the past, I’ve seen many tricks of the enemy that caused flourishing ministries to crumble, leaving them in ruins. Massive egos run amok (sometimes, my own), leaving destruction in their wake – everyone yielding to their inner “Id” – me, me, me. In the end, everyone loses and the enemy has won, for he has destroyed something that once began with such promise. Talents lay wasted as we go from some great purpose to no real purpose. I’ve watched many a great vision go up in smoke because of petty disagreements. And because we all forgot our main reason for even being there.

Sometimes, it’s not even others who distract us – we allow ourselves to be distracted for our own reasons. For instance, I may have allowed myself to be distracted from dieting and exercise by say, the offer of fast food or sweets from my (ex) husband, who may have wanted to sabotage me. He had his own reasons for wanting to maintain the status quo, even if it meant cheating himself out of a thinner, healthier wife. Maybe he was insecure about what it would mean for our relationship. But he is not to blame. I allowed it to happen for my own reasons – like, maybe hiding behind fat because maybe male attention makes me a little nervous at times. I’m just saying.

It’s a good thing that looking back in the past works both ways – I can remember my failures but I can also remember my successes. I remember being so focused that nothing could hinder me. I was on a mission! I recall moving forward with purpose, letting nothing sidetrack me, not even myself. I remember one summer where I laid out all of my goals and attacked them with a single mindedness that was stunning, even for me. I tackled a layoff, impending divorce and a hard real estate course in the space of a few months. Nothing slacking, nothing lacking. Meanwhile, my mother was in the hospital, recovering from a heart attack. It was a tough time for me, a desperate time, but I didn’t shirk from my responsibilities, nor give up my vision of the future. I saw each obstacle for what it was – merely an attempt to distract me from my true purpose. I felt like my family, our very survival, was at stake. With something so important on the line, I could not afford to let myself go off course so I kept my mind on the tasks at hand. Being able to see the big picture and being totally committed to my purpose bought me success.

I’ve been in the habit of looking back to learn from my mistakes; it’s very human to beat myself up over all the things I’ve done wrong. But now it’s time to learn from my success – to look forward – to take those lessons and apply them. I have found myself distracted for too long, pulled off my square, even more so in the past few years by myself, people and various events. I recently realized that this only happened whenever I forgot my purpose. For me, purpose brought clarity. I asked myself, “What am I really trying to accomplish? What’s really at stake?” At that moment, I knew – I saw the trick for what it was. It was not about the argument or distraction. It never was. It never is. It’s about keeping me from fulfilling my destiny.

Realizing that, I now move forward, putting aside the distractions. Knowing that I can no longer allow myself to be pulled off course and go chasing after them. That way lies destruction and certain failure. As long as I continue in that pattern I will never accomplish my true purpose or attain my goals in life. So I look back now, only to see what I’ve done well and what was successful. I use the past as my example and move forward with purpose now, staying focused and keeping my eye on the prize.

Be blessed,

Loria

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.” James 2:17-18 (NIV)

I’ve referenced the story before, of the ten lepers who were healed by Jesus. Jesus told them to go and show themselves to the priests, which was the custom of that time. According to the Law of Moses, the priest had to examine you and verify that you were cleansed of the disease. So Jesus told them to go present themselves – but they were not immediately cleansed at his words. The Bible says, “They were healed as they went.” It was their obedience, I am convinced, that netted that result.

I remember as I was growing up, every year around Easter time, the major television networks would present a new Jesus movie about his life and crucifixion. He was always portrayed, in my mind, as a bit of a milksop – no emotion, walking around bestowing miracles upon the common folks with this benign, I-am-not-of-this-world look on his face. (All he needed was a fairy wand!) That portrayal, of course, denies his very humanity and the passion behind his actions. His love for us is why he died for us. I know that he had emotions – his very actions prove the depth of his emotions. Neither is God passive, sitting high up on a throne, looking down on us mere mortals as we try to figure it all out. His very name, his personal name, means action. “I am”, is similar to the Hebrew verb or phrase, “to be” – it signifies that he constantly is. In action, that is. In fact, he is so concerned with our lives and so invested in the outcome that he set a plan in motion to save us, even before we knew we needed a savior.

Society, in presenting a very watered down version of Jesus, has done a disservice to us all. Namby-pamby, washed out, bland and one dimensional – who wants to be like that? And Jesus’ image is not the only thing that has suffered. Our concept of faith has also been corrupted. As much as we view Jesus as very passive (as in, “turn the other cheek”), we see faith as something belonging only to religious fanatics. “The name and claim it bunch,” as some refer to them, are given to zealously sprouting scriptures regarding faith in an effort to draw blessings to themselves. But for all the aggressiveness displayed in quoting scripture and calling down blessings “In Jesus’ name!” this too, is passive. True faith doesn’t belong to those who only claim it.

Real faith does. Faith is actually an action – think of it as a verb, rather than a noun. It’s something you do, rather than something you possess. I will show you my faith by what I do and how I live, not just by what I speak. Actions can be very revealing. For instance, if I believe that second hand smoke will kill me as surely as if I were a smoker, you couldn’t pay me to be in the same room with someone who smokes. If I believe chemicals and pesticides are harmful in my food, I would purchase and consume only organic foods. And, if I really thought that sitting too close to the television or reading in the dark would ruin my eyesight or that when I make a gruesome face, it might quite possibly be stuck like that, I wouldn’t do it. My actions are driven by my beliefs.

One of my favorite cable TV shows is Rob & Big on MTV – I am a fan of Rob’s sidekick, “Big,” a huge, black bodyguard. He has a phrase that can encompass all that faith is: “I do work!” As evidenced by the 10 lepers – the blessing is in the doing. It is in our obedience (or sometimes, like Abraham, in just doing something and hoping for direction along the way) that we receive our blessing. The lepers were healed as they went. They were healed as they obeyed. They were blessed as they acted. A simple “I believe” was not enough. They had to put their faith to work.

All evidence, I believe, points to a God who values action because he, himself, is action. I like to say He is a Nike kind of God, putting me in mind of the old commercial and slogan, “Just do it!” I see him as always working, always moving on our behalf. If we are to emulate him, we too, must become people of action. We must believe, we must speak and then we must have the actions that accompany what we believe and say.

As Christians, we are forever being scrutinized. It has been said that people will always remember how you made them feel. I would add to that, they will remember what you do, what you say and also, if your actions line up with your words. People can be quick to assign the “hypocrite” label when they see otherwise. Your life is your testimony, not just your words. The apostles had their testimonies, or written accounts, of their encounters with Jesus and how it changed their lives and the lives of those around them. They wrote letters, especially Paul, detailing their accounts to believers in their times. These letters have survived the test of time and been handed down to us, in the form of the Bible. But our own letters, our own accounts, are still being played out. As living “epistles” or letters (2 Corinthians 3:2-3), our lives are being read here and now. It could be that the greatest letter has yet to be written. And people everywhere are watching and reading us, that they may emulate us. So let’s get to work.

Be blessed,

Loria

What am I doin’? What am I doin’?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me
I’m doin me – I’m livin’ life right now, mayne
And this what I’ma do ’til it’s over
‘Til it’s over but it’s far from over…. “Over” by Drake

“If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?” 
1 Corinthians 12:17

First off, let’s get one thing straight – I don’t listen to rap or Drake. I’m not that cool. But the kids love him, especially the young girls. He’s cute. One night they were blasting this rap song and nodding their heads to it. I haven’t been able to get the chorus “I’m doin’ me, I’m doin’ me!” out of my head ever since. Picture me shaking my head and waving my hands like Flava Flav back in the day. “You do you – I’ma do me,” has become my mantra over the years. It’s how I encourage folks to chart their own course and find their own success.

I’ve written before about my struggle to understand my gifts and my responsibility to use them. It took a while for things to click, for me to just get it. “Not that I have already attained” but I’m getting there. I tend to be the kind of person who overlooks the obvious because it’s too obvious. I pride myself on taking the road less traveled. The original rebel without a clue, I fought against anything that just seemed too easy. So you see how I could sing for years and not understand it was my gift just because it was the obvious choice. And, although I was drawn more and more to my bible, I discounted my ability to recall and retell the stories. I thought anyone could do that. These gifts had no value because they seemed easy enough to come by and common enough. Still, I asked God continuously, “What is my gift?”

Then I thought to myself, what if the obvious choice is a blatant clue? No more scratching my head and asking for direction. What if all along, my natural gifts were being revealed in how easily something came to me? Or in how much I was drawn to it? Or in the way the outcome was blessed? What if I could know my gift in how good I became at certain things? What if the gifts were revealed in just living my life to the best of my ability? In just doing me? Could it be that simple?

When we were young ladies, my sister and I thought about making our own clothes. How cool would that be? And it should be easy enough to learn – our mother was a seamstress. She could make anything. So we went to our mother and got her to teach us. My sister took to it immediately. Me, on the other hand, not so much. I don’t think I ever really wanted to sew as much as I liked the idea of being able to sew. It should have been fun but it wasn’t for me. My mother finally gave up in frustration, “You’ll never learn to sew!” For years, I blamed her. I thought it was because she gave up or because of what she said. But I soon realized that I wasn’t driven enough, I didn’t love it enough to pursue it. My sister went on to become quite creative in sewing and making things for her home – she’s a regular Martha Stewart. I’ve accepted my talents do not lie in that area and just ask her! But I inherited my mother’s talent for cooking and my sister will ask me to make those family favorites that our mother used to make.

It never fails to astound me the number of people who want to follow and emulate others. True, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, still, I am puzzled. Your greatest success can only be in being true to yourself and in realizing your own gifts. I am a firm believer that no one can outdo you, doing you. Michael Jordan used to say that when he was “in the zone”, no one could touch him. Similarly, when you are accepting and using the gifts that God has given you for your life, for your contribution to society, you are untouchable. You are one hundred percent original and no one can copy you. No one will ever be able to “do you”, successfully. At best, they can be but a pale imitation. So why try? The answer lies in the success of the subject being imitated. Whatever they did worked, therefore, it stands to reason that if you do it, it could work for you, too.

But here’s the kicker, they only made it look easy because it is their gift. Some people can whip up an entire meal, effortlessly, while others struggle to boil water. Some folks can plan a wonderful, spectacular event with all the trimmings while someone else cannot plan a simple get together for lunch. Some can stand in front of a crowd, seemingly at ease, while others are crippled with stage fright. And some are charismatic, a pied piper, leading others into great adventures. Their success is in their natural inclinations, their gifts. It is why these things appear easy for them. But all of these people have something in common – they are being true to themselves and just doing what comes naturally. Sometimes we devalue what God has given us. We don’t trust in what he has given us that makes us great. That’s because we don’t see what God sees.

We used to have aquariums in my home. We tried to create the perfect environment for the fish and turtles to live in. Everything they could need – food, oxygen, filtering system – was right there. One day I had an epiphany: That’s exactly what God has done for us! He created this world with everything we could ever need to live and enjoy life. Even our bodies were created to be perfect, each member working in harmony with the whole. The Bible likens us, as individuals, to be parts of the body of Christ – made up of multiple limbs and organs, each having a unique function but all made to work together. And so, the scripture argues that we all are needed, whatever our gift may be. No one person should be envious or covetous of another’s gift because their own is just as important to the success of the entire body. God has made us all to be vital to its function. Whatever he has given you to do is necessary.

Sometimes when we look at our gifts and abilities and our place in the world, all we see is our insignificance – kind of like George in It’s a Wonderful Life. We don’t see our own importance. My father used to say “You should always walk like someone is following.” So even though I can’t always see that my life makes a difference, I try to live my life like it does. There is something to be said for simply being you. And that’s pretty darn terrific.

Be blessed,

Loria

“So that your trust may be in the LORD, I teach you today, even you.” Proverbs 22:19

“Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,”  1 Chronicles 16:12

It’s that time of year when we get to see the classic movie, The Ten Commandments (Yul Brynner and Charlton Heston duke it out for possession of the Israelites) AND re-enactments of The Passion of Christ in its various incarnations. Depending on your faith, this is the time to celebrate Passover or Easter Sunday (also known as Resurrection Day). You’ll be unable to avoid seeing mention of either this weekend – it’s because they are both linked together. Despite our familiarity with these holidays, I recently heard of a poll that indicated 42% of Americans do not know what this season is about. So here it is, in a nutshell:

Many Old Testament laws have been disregarded as obsolete and inspired by a God who wants to “get you” whenever you break one. But actually, a lot of these laws point to the remedy for our sin (and separation from God) – a reconciliation through his son, Jesus. This is most evident during the time of Passover, when God delivered his people from Egypt by many plagues – the last being the death of the firstborn of the Egyptians. Israel was spared from all of the plagues, including the last which required a blood sacrifice. The blood of a lamb was painted on the door posts so when the death angel came calling, he would “pass over”, sparing the occupants (Exodus 12:13). Similarly Christ, “the Lamb of God” (John 1:29) provides protection for us – when his blood was shed, it covered us. He is “our Passover Lamb” (1 Corinthians 5:7) so that the final death will “pass over” us, too.

Now, I love The Ten Commandments – it was made during a time “when movies were movies”. Although parts of it were biblically inaccurate, it told a great story and the special effects were grand and spectacular. I still can’t get enough of the parting of the Red Sea; it was the Avatar of its day. But my thoughts are elsewhere today; I’m drawn to the other side of that miracle. After the brouhaha died down. After Pharaoh, his charioteers and their horses were gone in one fell swoop. After the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, as if on dry land. After this great miracle of deliverance, what happened? The Israelites completely forgot who delivered them. God gave them water when they were thirsty in the desert and provided manna from heaven to make bread. He even gave them meat when they grumbled and complained. Yet they spurned Moses and rebelled against God many times. They didn’t trust that God wanted the best for them and that he would take care of them, despite how many times he had proven himself.

It can be said that you can only trust someone as well as you know them. As a mom, this is vividly illustrated each time my kids ask if they can go somewhere, with someone. My answer is always the same – it depends. How well do I know the person you’re going with? Do I know their family? How responsible is the parent with their own children? I could not, in good conscience, leave my children with a parent that did not exhibit the same care as I did with my own. Trust is not given lightly, it’s based on relationships. I know how well I can trust you in the future, based on what you’ve done in the past. When I have issues with trust, it’s usually because I remember a person’s track record all too well.

Still, I’ve been as guilty as the Israelites in the past; I had problems remembering what God has already done. This memory loss brought on anxiety. Over and over, I worried and fretted, questioned his ability to take care of me. Wondered if he cared. And the answer came back the same every time – he’s proven that I can trust him, so I will. He continues to show me. Sometimes, I get these huge, earth shattering, parting-of-the-Red-Sea revelations and at other times he reminds me in small ways. Like when my check engine light came on for a week and then, just as suddenly went off. That may seem like a small thing but for me, it was huge. It meant that I didn’t have to pay a repair bill or suffer the inconvenience of being without my car during a really hectic time in my life. It was just one less thing to deal with and I appreciated it. “Thank you, Lord,” I whispered, just as grateful for the small miracle as I am for the large.

Today is my daughter’s birthday. The big 18! She’s ecstatic, over the moon excited. Her dilemma today is the same as it is every birthday – will anyone care? Will anyone remember? Will anyone try to make her day special? My daughter expends a lot of energy towards making everyone else’s day special. She loves holidays and all the trappings. Birthdays, she celebrates with a special kind of fervor. But she is never satisfied. At the end of the day, she is usually unhappy because she didn’t get the kind of commitment and attention to her day that she’s given to others. She expects that when she puts out that kind of effort, she should get a return. And she’s right. She should and she will. But often she looks for the return to come from the folks she’s invested it in. It doesn’t always happen that way – sometimes a complete stranger can bless you. If you’re so busy looking at what you don’t have or what people didn’t do, you’ll miss it.

I passed on to her a lesson that I’ve learned over time. If you put out good things, they’ll come back to you. You can trust that. If you have good friends, trust them to be kind to you and treat you well on your special day (but also take some responsibility for making your own day great). And you can trust that God loves you and wants the best for you – he’s concerned about even the small things in your life. Like whether your birthday is great or if the check engine light is on in your car. Or when you don’t get the things or the recognition you feel you deserve. Or when you are mistreated and your character maligned. Remember, you can trust him to care. You can trust him to take care of you.

Be blessed,

Loria

“The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.”
Exodus 15:2

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.” James 5:13

Surgery. The orthopedic doctor’s verdict sounded, to me, like a death sentence. My mom had fallen and broken her hip. Eighty three years old with health issues, how could she survive surgery? Moreover, surgery is something she always said she never wanted to have. But the forecast was bleak without it – unable to walk for the rest of her days, bedridden and all the complications that came along with being in such a state permanently. We had a horrible decision to make: Risk that she may not live through the surgery versus the risk that she wouldn’t have much of a life without it. I was heartbroken at the prospect of losing my mother. The very idea reduced me to a little girl.

Initially, my reaction was “She can’t survive surgery!” But I gradually made my peace with it as I saw it was inevitable. I began to feel good about the surgery and her chances to survive it. I felt like my mom would be alright. Until the time came to schedule the surgery and the reality of our predicament hit me. They left the choice to us. I lost it then – I was a mess. I’ve already made plans to go into a catatonic state when my mom leaves this world. Whenever that day comes, it will be too soon. I cried as we considered the alternative – could we live with that? Could she? Whatever the outcome, it was an ugly decision. My mom agreed to the surgery, taking the decision out of our hands.

Her hospital roommate, an angel, heard us and comforted us, saying, “Your mother will be fine! We’re tough!” God bless her for those words. Being a mom herself, and having survived brain surgery, she could appreciate both sides of the situation. She said, “Kiss your mama and pray for her. She gone be fine!” I was reminded of who my mom, the woman, once was. And if my mom said yes to the surgery, she must have determined that she would make it. She was fighting to live and if she wasn’t giving up, neither was I. So I told the nurse to schedule the surgery. On the way home, I thought about my last article (see Family Ties) and my words came back to encourage me – family is strength. For many years, my mother poured her prayers and strength into her family. Now it was time for us to return the favor.

So I called my brothers, told them the deal and asked for their prayers. Then I called my children and friends. And I posted my prayer request on FaceBook. Soon, I had a great number of people praying that my mom’s surgery would be a success. I was comforted and more confident that she would be ok. I woke up early the next morning, determined to be present for the surgery when another dilemma presented itself. Surgery had been rescheduled to the afternoon. By that time, I was supposed to be an hour away with my daughter at her college luncheon. I can tell you, being a mother, daughter, sister and gainfully employed makes for some hard decisions. It sucks. Sometimes my children win, at times my siblings, oftentimes, my job and more recently, my mom. I try to make the very best decision I can and hope for the best.

Reasoning that I had really done all that I could do for my mother – I left my sister to stay with her and went ahead with our plans to go to the luncheon. My kids sometimes give up a lot and can be very understanding. But I didn’t want to let my daughter down. So I left a message with the nurse, hoping that the doctor would reschedule (again) and enable me to be there. My mother was never far from my mind. I continued to pray for her as I drove. My son joined us at the luncheon and I invoked the power of family again; the three of us prayed for her as the time for her surgery neared. I trust my kids to pray with me more than anyone. They are wise and spiritual (for kids) and I know that they understand the power of family prayer. They “get it”, having reaped its benefits, many times over. This time, we sent prayers UP the pipeline.

We left the luncheon as soon as we were able, leaving early. I thought about my mom and the fact that I hadn’t received word from my sister yet. As we got into the car, my daughter asked if I had heard anything. “No,” I replied. She asked if I would call my sister and ask about the surgery. No, again. I told her, if she has anything bad to tell me, she won’t call me. And if she doesn’t call me, I don’t want to know right now. I’m too far away to do anything about it. I thought to myself – I would know if something bad happened. I would feel it, I was sure.

As we hit the toll road I was suddenly cheerful as a song by Fred Hammond came to me. I sang it over and over, louder and more cheerful. I got my daughter to join in. We bobbed our heads to the song and I knew, it wasn’t just a song – something had happened. We were praising God:

For the Lord is worthy to be praised
His hand of salvation redeems us this hour
To the Lord, beyond the balance of our days
Be glory and honor do-minion and power!

My cell phone rang. It was my sister. Telling me what my heart already knew. My mom was out of surgery. It was successful and she was recovering just fine. Yeah, God sometimes speaks to me through songs. I delivered the news to my daughter and she began to make the calls, passing the good news along. When she finished, she began to sing a song by J. Moss:

There’s a praise on the inside that I just can’t keep to myself
A holler, stirring up from the depths of my soul
So excuse me if I seem a little giddy and maybe even strange
But praise is the way I say thanks …

Be blessed,

Loria

P.S. “Glory to God” is by Fred Hammond.

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”  Matthew 18:19-20

So, Joseph was the favorite son of Jacob – born of the favorite wife, Rachel, who then died while giving birth to another son, Benjamin. Joseph’s favored status (and his dreams of being elevated above his family) caused such a strain with his brothers that they hated him – enough to wish him dead – enough to act upon it. Some of the older brothers took Joseph and roughed him up and threw him into a pit, later selling him as a slave. They ripped his famous coat of many colors, covered it with blood and led his father to believe he’d been killed by wild animals. Joseph wound up a slave in Egypt, then wrongfully imprisoned, before being released by Pharaoh. He found himself installed in the second highest office in the land because of his dream interpreting abilities. Turns out, those dreams of his came true. This begged the question: Was all this really brought on by sibling rivalry? Seriously? What was really going on?

As my friend always says, ask God a question and you’ll get an answer. It occurred to me recently, that this was not just about family squabbles but more about destroying this family and trying to prevent them from fulfilling their destiny. Jacob, or Israel, was the son of Isaac, the son of Abraham. God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations but he made a special covenant through the descendants of Isaac. From Isaac came twin sons, Esau and Jacob. The covenant carried on through Jacob’s descendants – twelve sons, destined to become 12 tribes and the nation of Israel. Israel the man became Israel the nation, through whom all the nations of the world would be blessed, for Jesus comes from the line of his son, Judah.

Incidentally, Judah is the brother who sold Joseph into slavery for twenty pieces of silver. Selling him was a compromise – Judah initially wanted to kill him. Wow. What better way to thwart Judah’s future than to have his brother’s life on his hands? Imagine the guilt of that. To Judah, this probably seemed like a good plan to derail Joseph’s future but thankfully, God had a better plan. God used this horrible betrayal to put Joseph IN power, in a land of plenty, during a time of famine, so that he could save his family. Think about it – no Joseph, no food, no future. God took these evil events and used them to fulfill his good purpose so Judah was forgiven for the part he played. Joseph was restored to his father and treated as the firstborn – he received a double portion among his brothers. His one tribe was reckoned as two, according to his sons, Ephraim and Manasseh. It was a good thing for all that Joseph’s brothers were not able to destroy him, his future and by extension, their own future with their actions.

I thought of the story of Joseph and his brothers and related it to my own family squabbles. Everyone has a story of sibling rivalry. But is it really about the squabble or about something bigger and deeper? What’s really going on? Is there a bigger picture to consider, a destiny for your family to fulfill? What if in tearing down your sibling, you are tearing down yourself or affecting your future? It came to me that there is so much power in unity. But therein lies the problem – unity is dangerous to evil. Divided we can do little but together we can accomplish so much. We can be a force to be reckoned with! But we allow petty squabbles to divide us and cause us to compete with one another to keep us from fulfilling our true purpose. Family is strength. Family is where our power lies. It’s our foundation for everything – for our churches, for our society. Families fall apart and so goes everything else. It’s all dependent on the family unit. So it follows, as we destroy our family relationships it will affect our future.

When my friends admit to me that they enjoy talking or visiting with siblings that they normally don’t get along with, they sound amazed AND a little bit guilty. A friend of mine recently confessed to me, she sounded surprised, that she really enjoyed some time she spent with a sibling. Like, she shouldn’t be having a good time with someone who has previously tormented her. But why be surprised? This is the natural order, not the rivalry – even though that’s been going on since Cain and Abel. That unity, God’s plan for the family, predates fratricide. More people, being of one mind, equals more power. That’s why group prayer is so powerful. Studies have been conducted to prove it. That’s why our family unit is so important and why it constantly comes under attack. That is why marriages are failing and families are estranged. It is so our power will be diluted and we will stand defenseless against the enemy.

My sister recently remarked to me, “Your first reaction is always negative.” My response: “What? ME? You!” And we went back and forth about it for a few minutes. I was a little steamed because I felt misjudged, especially since I try very hard to be encouraging. Apparently, she has been missing out on that most excellent part of moi. I let it go (this time!) because even though it’s untrue, it’s her perception and might as well be true. I didn’t realize that was how she saw me. But I’m not willing to let that divide us because it is so small. Our number has dwindled. We’ve lost a sister and a brother so losing each other has become a real possibility. And some of us are not as close, geographically and relationally. So what we have, we hold on to, we treasure. We stand by each other. My brother told me recently that he is praying for me – that was touching and powerful. I am grateful for his prayers. I need them. I feel stronger just knowing that. I think now, at this stage in our lives, we’re getting past the sibling rivalries. Like Joseph and his brothers, we’re realizing we need each other to stand and to be strong and to have a future.

Be blessed,

Loria

P.S. You can find the entire story of Joseph in the book of Genesis, chapters 37 thru 50.